If 'President Trump' Is Hard To Say, Try 'Senator Kid Rock'

>> Stephen: NOW, FOR THE RECORD, I'M NOT THE PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M JUST A DUMB TV SHOW HOST, SO I PROBABLY WON'T BE PRESIDENT
FOR ANOTHER FOUR YEARS.
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THAT'S TASTY.
>> Audience: STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
>> Stephen: DON'T ENCOURAGE THEM.
DON'T ENCOURAGE THEM.
>> Audience: STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND TRUMP'S SUCCESS IS ALREADY
INSPIRING OTHER CELEBRITIES TO GET INTO POLITICS, BECAUSE IN
THE NEXT ELECTION, KID ROCK COULD RUN FOR SENATE IN
MICHIGAN.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE COULD SOON BE HEARING "BAWITDABA, DA BANG, DA BANG,
DIGGY, DIGGY, I YIELD THE REMAINDER OF MY TIME."
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S NO SURPRISE KID ROCK COULD
BE A REPUBLICAN CONTENDER.
HE CAMPAIGNED FOR TRUMP AND EVEN SOLD PRO-TRUMP MERCH ON HIS
WEBSITE, INCLUDING A T-SHIRT THAT SAYS, "BLANK-ONALD TRUMP."
THE "D" IS MISSING BECAUSE IT'S IN EVERY HATER'S MOUTH.
I LIKE KID, I LIKE KID.
BUT THAT MAKES HIM SOUND LIKE A REAL "OUCHEBAG."
THE IDEA THAT SOME AGING LONG-HAIRED ROCKER COULD BE THE
NEXT SENATOR FROM MICHIGAN SOUNDS LIKE THE RAVINGS OF A
MADMAN.
AND IT IS: THE MOTOR CITY MADMAN.
BECAUSE TED NUGENT MIGHT ALSO RUN FOR THAT SAME SENATE SEAT!
KID ROCK VERSUS TED NUGENT.
THE KID VERSUS THE NUGE!
IT'S GOING TO BE A TOUGH CHOICE.
THIS IS REALLY GOING TO SPLIT THE "UNCLE WHO SELLS YOU
FIREWORKS" VOTE.
BUT THE RACE IS STILL WIDE OPEN.
AND HERE WITH AN EXCLUSIVE, MAJOR
ANNOUNCEMENT, WE HAVE ANOTHER MICHIGAN HARD ROCKER.
PLEASE WELCOME, LIVE FROM DETROIT, SHRIEKIN' JOE, THE
SAGINAW PYSCHOPATH!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SHRIEKIN' JOE, THANK YOU FOR
JOINING US.
>> BONGO, DONGO, STEPHEN!
YEAAAHHHHH!!!
>> Stephen: I'M A HUGE FAN.
I SEE YOU HAVE YOUR CROSSBOW WITH YOU.
>> YEAH!
GOT IT IN AN ABANDONED LAUNDROMAT.
>> Stephen: I'M A HUGE FAN.
I'VE GOT ALL YOUR ALBUMS: "LIVE FROM YOUR MOTHER'S PANTIES,"
"BORN TO HUNT DOLPHINS," AND THAT ONE WHERE THE COVER IS
YOU AND JESUS WITH TWO BABES IN AN ABOVE-GROUND POOL.
>> OH, YEAH, BOOBIE MESSIAH.
>> Stephen: A GREAT ONE, CLASSIC.
SO, SHRIEKIN' JOE, I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO
MAKE.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, STEPHEN.
SHRIEKIN' JOE IS RUNNING FOR SENATE FROM MICHIGAN AND SAYS
"THE GREAT STATE OF SON-OF-A-BITCH-IGAN"!
TRADEMARK!
BUY MY T-SHIRTS.
YEAH!
>> Stephen: LOOKS LIKE A FINE T-SHIRTUC GEE.
THAT'S A BIG DEAL.
I ASSUME YOU'VE TALKED TO YOUR FAMILY ABOUT IT.
>> YEAH, THEY'RE ALL BEHIND ME.
MY MOM, MY DAD MY 34-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER, MY 18-YEAR-OLD WIFE.
( LAUGHTER ) HER NAME IS SERENDIPITY.
USED TO BE SARAH, UNTIL I DIPPED MY "D."
>> Audience: OOOH!
I'M REFERRING TO MY PENIS, STEPHEN.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: I'M AWARE.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR THAT UPDATE.
>> SUBTLETIY'S NOT MY STRONG SUIT.
>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS.
SO, SHRIEKIN' JOE, WHAT'S YOUR MESSAGE TO THE PEOPLE OF YOUR
STATE?
>> STEPHEN, MY PLATFORM IS SIMPLE: I WANT YOU TO GET WET,
JUMP ON IT.
I LOVE SEX.
LET ME HEAR YA, MICHIGAN!
YEAAAHHHHHH!!
>> Stephen: NOW, SHRIEKIN' JOE, THIS COULD BE A COMPETITIVE
RACE.
WHAT MAKES YOU MORE QUALIFIED THAN YOUR POSSIBLE OPPONENTS,
TED NUGENT AND KID ROCK?
>> NOTHING, STEPHEN.
I'M THE ORIGINAL AMERICAN DUMB-ASS.
TRADEMARK!
BUY MY T-SHIRTS!
>> Stephen: BUT, SHRIEKIN' JOE, DON'T YOU THINK THE JOB OF U.S.
SENATOR REQUIRES SOME QUALIFICATIONS?
>> NOPE.
SORRY, GRANDMA.
PLAY MY NEW CAMPAIGN SONG!
KICK IT, BOYS!
YEAAAAHHHH!!
♪ I GOT GUNS AND CASH Y'ALL JUST DON'T GET IT
♪ TRUMP GRABS THE PUSSY BUT I LIKE TO PET IT ♪
BADABALALABAMANABABABABAA-- BONGO!
DONGO!
I'M SHRIEKIN' JOE, AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: SHRIEKIN' JOE,
EVERYONE!
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
KELLY RIPA IS HERE!
BUT, FIRST, I'M GOING TO EXPOSE SOME WHITE HOUSE LEAKS.
STICK AROUND!
BONGO, DONGO! BONGO, DONGO!

If 'President Trump' Is Hard To Say, Try 'Senator Kid Rock'

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