Jake Tapper

>> AND THAT WILL DO IT FOR US ON "STATE OF THE UNION."
AS ALWAYS, I'M JAKE TAPPER. FAREED ZAKARIA.
"GPS" IS NEXT. >> AND WE'RE OUT.
>> ALL RIGHT, THANKS, EVERYONE. >> HEY, GREAT SHOW, MAN.
AND FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I THINK IT WAS THE RIGHT CALL NOT TO LET
KELLYANNE ON TODAY. >> THANK YOU.
I MEAN, THE WHITE HOUSE OFFERED HER.
SHE JUST HAD TOO MANY CREDIBILITY ISSUES.
>> YEAH, I'M GLAD YOU DREW THE LINE.
>> THANKS. WELL, HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, MIKE.
>> ALL RIGHT, MAN. >> BACK AT IT TOMORROW.
>> HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, JAKE.
>> HELLO, JAKE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
DO YOU WANT A DRINK? >> JESUS.
KELLYANNE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?
>> I JUST WANT TO BE A PART OF THE NEWS, JAKE.
>> THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT? BY BREAKING INTO MY APARTMENT?
>> WELL, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?
YOU WEREN'T ANSWERING MY CALLS. YOU CHANGED YOUR NUMBER.
I'M NOT GOING TO BE IGNORED, JAKE!
[ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU DON'T GET, KELLYANNE.
YOU MADE UP A MASSACRE. WE CAN'T HAVE YOU ON.
>> BUT I MISS THE NEWS. I WANT TO GET A MIC.
I WANT TO FEEL THAT HOT, BLACK, MIC PRESSED UP AGAINST MY SKIN.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YOU WERE ON THE NEWS TODAY.
YOU SMELL LIKE GOOD NEWS. LET ME TASTE THE NEWS ON YOUR
FACE. >> KELLYANNE, NO!
WE CAN'T HAVE YOU ON TV IF YOU ARE JUST GOING TO KEEP LYING!
>> OKAY, FINE. I'LL DO SOMETHING ELSE.
I'LL DO SOMETHING REALLY CRAZY. WHAT IF I DO A FREE COMMERCIAL
FOR IVANKA'S SHOES, LIVE ON AIR? [ LAUGHTER ]
WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, BABY. >> WHAT?
NO. THAT'S ILLEGAL.
>> OH, WHAT! [ LAUGHTER ]
JUST A LITTLE ETHICS VIOLATION. THINK OF THE CLICK BAIT.
CLICK, CLICK, CLICK! [ LAUGHTER ]
DON'T YOU SEE? I DON'T DO THIS FOR ME.
I DO IT FOR YOU. YOU NEED ME.
YOU NEED TO PRESS ME. >> NO, NO, I DON'T.
>> YES, YOU DO. YOU NEED TO REACH INSIDE ME, AND
YOU NEED TO PULL OUT THE TRUTH. >> SAY IT!
>> YEAH! JAKE.
YOU DON'T HAVE THE TRUTH. JUST LAY DOWN AT YOUR FEET.
JAKE! >> ENOUGH!
>> IT'S OVER, KELLYANNE. YOU'RE SICK.
YOU'RE DOG SICK. YOU ARE DONE.
>> WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT. IF CAN'T BE ON TV, I'LL GO SOME
WHERE ELSE. >> I'LL CALL HUFF PO LIVE.
>> NO YOU WON'T. NO ONE WATCHES THAT!
>> HELLO, HUFF POST LIVE. [ CRYING ]
[ LAUGHTER ] >> SORRY.
[ SOBBING ] PUT ME ON THE NEWS, JAKE!
>> OKAY, OKAY! YOU CAN GO ON FAREED ZAKARIA.
>> FAREED ZAKARIA!? I HAVE AN OFFICE IN THE
[ BLEEP ] WHITE HOUSE? >> DO I LOOK LIKE
KAYLIEGH McENANY TO YOU? >> NO.
>> UH, OKAY, OKAY! YOU CAN GO ON HER SHOW!
WHATEVER YOU WANT! YOU WIN!
WHATEVER YOU WANT! >> OKAY, GREAT.
THANKS, JAKE. >> YOU'RE A MONSTER.
>> ACTUALLY, NO. I AM JUST KELLYANNE CONWAY AND I
ALWAYS GET MY KELLYANNE CONWAY --
[ SCREAMING ] [ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO! [ SPLAT ]
KELLYANNE! OH, MY GOD.
♪♪♪ [ LAUGHTER ]
>> ARE YOU OKAY? >> ACTUALLY, I AM FINE, BUT I DO
ONLY HAVE THREE LIVES LEFT. [ LAUGHTER ]
SEE YOU ON THE NEWS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Jake Tapper - SNL

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