Kellyanne Conway's Artful Deceptions: The Daily Show

As the media continues to battle Donald Trump,
-Steve Bannon and Sean Spicer... -(laughter)
...there's one dragon that they cannot slay--
Kellyanne Conway, the counselor to the president
and the woman who brought us this.
Sean Spicer, our press secretary, gave...
alternative facts.
(laughter)
-I'll never forget where I was... -(laughter)
...when I heard that statement.
-I was on the moon. -(laughter)
-You can't prove that I wasn't. -(laughter)
For more analysis of Kellyanne Conway,
we turn now toThe Daily Show's resident liar,
-Michelle Wolf, everybody! -(cheers and applause)
Thank you, Trevor.
It's great to be here.
-Was-was that a lie? -No.
-Was that a lie? -Yes.
I don't know even know how this works.
Okay, anyway, Michelle, it feels like
Kellyanne Conway has been poking away at the media for months,
culminating in her latest statement
about the Bowling Green massacre.
Okay, well, first of all, she hasn't been poking at the media.
She's been chewing them up, spitting them out,
(bleep) on them, then lighting them on fire
and leaving them on their own doorstep.
And frankly, I find it damn impressive.
What? No, no. I'm sorry. Impressive?
Oh, she's so good at it.
I wish I had her talent.
When she's done talking,
I don't know if my mouth is my ass, or my ass is my mouth.
-(laughter, applause & cheering) -Very confusing.
I mean, she's got a playbook,
and, of course, like a porn star,
she only has, like, four or five moves,
but I still love watching her give it to people.
(laughter)
One of my favorites is shifting blame.
Will Donald Trump release anything from the IRS
-proving that he's under audit? -No, I don't know.
Why? In other words, why are you...?
-Are you calling him a liar? -If we're taking...
Well, we're taking his word for it.
Are you calling him a liar?
And we're taking Hillary Clinton's word for that
she was overheated and didn't have pneumonia,
or that she's going to be aspirational, uplifting,
or she's going to start talking to the press again.
I mean, seriously, we're going to...
We're running against a Clinton,
and we're going to challenge someone's veracity?
Okay, so, we started at Donald Trump's tax return,
and we ended at Hillary lying about pneumonia?
(laughter)
Kellyanne can get out of anything
by shifting blame to someone else.
She should be a lawyer.
-She should be Bill Cosby's lawyer. -(laughter)
The trial will be 15 minutes, and the jury would come out
angry at Mariah Carey's sound guy.
(laughter)
And I know, I know, I know a lot of you are, like,
"I could never do this,"
and you're right because you have a soul.
(laughter)
But Kellyanne-- she doesn't.
-She's my no-soul mate. -(laughter)
So just move all your hate aside, all of it, and...
Because once you stop hating,
you can appreciate the artistry.
Like, here's another one of her moves,
something I call "Fake Truth, Real Problem."
See, you make up a lie, and before anyone can refute it,
cloud the discussion with real facts
about a devastating unrelated issue.
And then Peña Nieto, I don't have to tell you,
cancelled his visit this week...
That was mutual.
The president suggested it first on Twitter.
They had a meeting scheduled for Tuesday?
You think that's a good thing?
It's a great thing that they spoke for an hour.
I'll tell you what's not a great thing.
Here's not a great thing. It's not great
that we have a $60 billion trade deficit with Mexico.
It's not great that they allow, because there is no border,
there is no... there is no respect
of our sovereignty in this country, Chris.
You know who I want Fox News to go interview?
Go interview all those parents who have left...
who have lost children to opioid use.
(laughter)
Come on!
I see your cancelled meeting and I raise you a heroin epidemic?
(laughter)
This is amazing!
I mean, for decades politicians have blown bull (bleep) on TV,
but Kellyanne Conway has changed the game.
She's like when black guys started playing basketball.
Or when steroids started playing baseball.
(laughter)
Which brings me to this past weekend.
Because she did something that can only be described
as "The Beautiful Lie."
It was her fib de résistance
I bet there was very little coverage.
I bet... I bet it's brand-new information to people
that President Obama had a six-month ban
on the Iraqi refugee program after two Iraqis came here
to this country, were radicalized,
and they were the master...
masterminds behind the Bowling Green massacre.
I mean, most people don't know that
because it didn't get covered.
That was like a roller coaster of contradiction.
She said-- we didn't invent the ban, Obama invented the ban.
And the reason Trump needed a ban
is because Obama didn't have a ban.
Which is why Obama couldn't prevent
the very real Bowling Green massacre
but Trump will.
Come on!
-(laughter) -It's like if Inception was a sentence!
Well, Michelle, I mean, I hear you and you're right,
but I don't think we should be celebrating Kellyanne Conway
and a lie about a fake massacre.
Oh. You don't think we should be celebrating Kellyanne Conway,
but you want to celebrate a Patriots' win at the Super Bowl?
A celebration you're having while kids are starving
and dying on the streets of Chicago?
Who are, of course, being ignored by a media
that is covering them too much?
How dare you, Trevor!
And on the anniversary of the Louisville Slugging!
-I-I... Wait, I'm... -(laughter)
Whoa. I'm sorry. Wait. What...
(cheering, applause)
Wait. No, wait, what...
what just happened?
-You just got Conway'd! -(laughter)

Kellyanne Conway's Artful Deceptions: The Daily Show

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