President Trump Tangles with Foreign Leaders: The Daily Show

Let's move on and talk about some global news.
You know, it's been so chaotic here in America
dealing with Trump's bull (bleep) that you forget
there's a whole world out there
also dealing with Trump's bull (bleep).
-(laughter) -You can't escape the man.
And it's not like
the world doesn't have problems of its own.
For instance, in Germany, they're worried
about Russians interfering with their elections now,
but instead of focusing on that,
poor Angela Merkel had to spend her precious time
explaining to Trump that he couldn't refuse refugees in need
because of a thing called the "Geneva Convention."
Yeah, she had to explain that to a president,
which is a waste of her time.
And that's German time, so you know it's extra precious.
-(laughter) -Yeah. No, it is. It's super precious.
Like, in terms of value, it goes Swiss time,
-German time, Hammer time. That's... that's it. -(laughter)
And Hammer time is extremely valuable
-because there's not any left. -(audience groaning)
It's just one of those things.
But it's happening all over the world.
In Britain, Prime Minister Theresa May
is struggling with Brexit,
but because of Trump, who wants to meet the queen,
she has to spend time schooling him on royal protocols,
teaching Trump on how to meet the queen.
(with English accent): "Rule one, Donald--
it's not okay to grab the queen's pussy."
(laughter, groaning, applause)
Or as the queen calls it, "The Grey Corgi."
(laughter)
Now, now, as irritating as those Trump problems may be,
at least they're side issues.
For some countries, Trump is problem numero uno.
NEWSMAN: Fighting with friends.
President Trump escalating his fight with Mexico...
President Trump threatened to use U.S. military force
to halt Mexico's drug trade.
He reportedly said he's ready to send U.S. troops to stop
what he calls, quote, "bad hombres down there."
-(laughter) -Hey, hey.
Look on the bright side-- Trump's learning Spanish.
(laughter)
You know, this story is why you have to appreciate
every now moment.
Remember a week ago? We were freaking out
because Trump was starting a trade war?
And now we're freaking out because he's starting a war war?
Now we're like, "Oh, man, I miss the old Trump."
-(laughter) -Although, although to be fair,
this is not, like, exactly an escalation,
uh, you know, this whole invasion.
Because, let's be honest, America already invades Mexico
-every spring break. -(laughter)
Yeah, and these people, by the way,
who go down to Mexico, they're bringing drugs,
they're bringing crime, they're rapists...
and some, I assume, are good people.
(laughter)
-I've heard. I assume. -(whooping, applause)
And-and-and don't get me wrong, don't get me wrong.
Of course, Trump and his administration
aren't just making new enemies, they're also rebooting old ones.
The White House is raising the stakes with Iran.
National Security Advisor Michael Flynn
lashing out at the Iranians
for conducting a recent missile test.
President Trump has severely criticized
the various agreements reached between Iran
and the Obama administration.
Instead of being thankful to the United States
in these agreements, Iran is now feeling emboldened.
As of today, we are officially putting Iran on notice.
Holy (bleep).
Iran is officially on notice.
Do you know what that means?
-Actually, nobody knows what it means. -(laughter)
Yeah. But it's provocative. It gets the people going.
(singing melody)
There's no such thing as "officially being on notice."
That's the opposite of "official."
Like, you can't just say, "You're on notice."
Flynn sounds less like a general
and more like an Atlanta housewife. You know?
Iran caused a scene at my dinner party,
so she officially on notice.
Bloop!
(laughter)
That's not a thing.
But let's-let's be honest, though.
None of this is really a surprise.
If you were guessing who Trump would be heading to war with
two weeks into his presidency,
we would have probably picked Mexico, uh,
and we probably would have had Iran.
But who would you have had as a third? Think about it.
No, no, try again, try again.
No, no, another country. Try again.
A-Anoth... Like, you want to go way down on your list.
The president is also taking a hard line with Australia,
reportedly slamming the prime minister
during a phone call...
NEWSMAN: ...a shouting match between him
and Australia's prime minister...
NEWSWOMAN: ...accusing him of trying to send the U.S.
the next Boston Bombers, referring to an agreement
to send 1,250 refugees here.
Mr. Trump hanging up after just 25 minutes...
Who picks a fight with Koala Island?
(laughter)
It's one of America's closest and chillest allies, people.
Their catchphrase is literally, "No worries."
But Trump picked a fight with them.
And an hour after the fight, he tweeted...
-(laughter, applause) -Now...
(audience whooping)
Can I just say... can I just say...
you have to be some kind of genius
to pack so much wrong into just 140 characters.
First of all, how do you know it's a dumb deal
if you haven't studied it yet?
Like, maybe next time you want to study the deal
before you get on the phone with a foreign leader
and (bleep) on him.
And also, they're not illegal immigrants.
They're refugees. They're refugees
that the U.S. made a legal agreement to accept.
In Trump's mind, everyone in the world is an illegal immigrant.
Everyone. Yeah, they just haven't come over yet.
(like Trump): People in Africa, illegal immigrants.
People in Austra... everyone's an illegal immigrant!
-It's happening. -(laughter)
So, the question is, how'd this all happen?
I talked to one administration official
who said, look at the context of his schedule, of his day.
He talked to five world leaders on Saturday, last Saturday,
at the end of a long week in the White House,
and they said simply,
by the time he got to the Australian phone call,
he was a little fatigued.
(laughter)
So Trump damaged relations
with a key strategic ally
because he missed nap time?
That is the cutest, most terrifying excuse
I have ever heard.
And it makes sense because toddlers are tyrants
and now you understand Trump.
I mean, it all makes sense.
I thought Trump was supposed to be the high-energy candidate.
Stamina was his thing, remember?
That's what he said.
Yeah, you think Jeb Bush gets cranky on phone calls?
No, because no one calls him.
No one.
But my point stands.
When you've got Australia thinking that you're an asshole,
then maybe it's time for you to ask the question,
is Trump really going to make America first,
or is he just going to make America alone?
The signs aren't good,
especially if Trump's leaked Australia phone call
is anything to go by.
(man imitating Turnbull):
(man imitating Trump):
(man imitating Turnbull):
(man imitating Trump):
(dial tone)

President Trump Tangles with Foreign Leaders: The Daily Show

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