Waxing Presidential With The Late Show Road Show

>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.
THE TRUMP PRESIDENCY IS A TIME OF STUNNING CHANGE.
OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW, UP WITH THE LUNCH.
AND NOT JUST IN WASHINGTON.
THERE'S ALSO BEEN A PAINFUL PRESIDENTIAL TRANSITION IN
PENNSYLVANIA, AS WE DISCOVERED IN THIS SPECIAL "LATE SHOW"
INVESTIGATIVE SPECIAL INVESTIGATION.
JIM?
♪ ♪
♪ GETTYSBURG, A NAME WE ALL
LEARNED AS CHILDREN FOR ONE HISTORIC REASON.
>> THE HALL OF PRESIDENT'S WAX MUSEUM.
A 60-YEAR-OLD TOURIST ATTRACTION FEATURING ALL 44 PRESIDENTS.
BUT TRAGICALLY THE DIGITAL REVOLUTION HAS KILLED AMERICA'S
LONG LOVE AFFAIR WITH WAXED-BASED ENTERTAINMENT.
THE MUSEUM HAS CLOSED ITS DOORS AND RECENTLY ALL OF OUR FORMER
PRESIDENTS WERE SOLD ON THE AUCTION BLOCK.
>> FINALLY, A CHANCE TO PURCHASE YOUR VERY OWN ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
HONEY GLAZED REAGAN.
JIMMY CARTER, BILL CLINTON ON PREDNISONE OR YOUR DAD'S FRIEND
FROM WORK.
BUT ONLY ONE PRESIDENT FOR ME, MARTIN VAN BUREN, OUR MOST
EIGHTH PRESIDENT, THE NOTORIOUS M.V.B. WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE
TRAIL OF TEARS.
HE CAUSED THE GREAT DEPRESSION OF 1837, AND WAS BELOVED FOR HIS
NICKNAME "THE LITTLE MAGICIAN."
I KNEW I HAD TO DROP EVERYTHING AND GO GET HIM.
BUT IT WAS A SATURDAY.
SO I SENT OUT MY MOST SINGLE AND CHILDLESS STAFF MEMBER, AERIAL.
>> AHHH!
HOPEFULLY, SOMEONE FED HER CATS.
AERIAL'S MISSION, BRING BACK MARTIN VAN BUREN AT ANY COST
UNDER $2,000.
>> YUM.
BUT FIRST CHECK OUT THE COMPETITION.
>> WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?
I HAVE BEEN COMING TO THE MUSEUM 40 YEARS, SO I'M A
HISTORY BUFF.
I HOPE THEY DON'T GET HACKED UP FOR HAUNTED FIGURES AND DUMMIES
LIKE IN THE LAST MUSEUM.
>> THAT HAPPENED?
YEAH, SOLD THE CIVIL WAR WAX MUSEUM THREE YEARS AGO.
NOT ALL, BUT A GOOD MANY WERE CHOPPED UP INTO HAUNTED HOUSES
AND THAT'S TERRIBLE.
>> THAT'S TERRIFYING.
>> Stephen: FOR SOME BIDDERS, THIS AUCTION HIT CLOSE TO HOME.
>> I AM THE GREAT, GREAT -- A GREAT NEPHEW OF RUTHERFORD B.
HAZE.
SO I'M HOPING TO KEEP RUTHERFORD IN THE FAMILY TODAY.
>> HOW MUCH ARE YOU WILLING TO PAY?
>> CAN YOU PUT A PRICE ON RUTHERFORD?
>> YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO.
DO YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO GET NASTY IN THE AUCTION?
>> I THINK IT'S GOING TO GET NASTY.
>> I THINK IT COULD BE NASTY.
OH, YEAH, THINGS GOT NASTY.
GETTYSBURG HAD NEVER SEEN A BATTLE LIKE THIS, THE MONEY GUNS
WERE BLAZING.
>> MARTIN VAN BUREN.
FINALLY, IT WAS MARTIN'S TIME TO SHINE AND WE WERE READY TO
SNATCH UP THE ONE-TERM PRESIDENT OF OUR DREAMS.
WHAT THE (BLEEP), $3,300 FOR THE LITTLE MAGICIAN?
SCREW THAT NOISE BECAUSE WE GOT THE ONLY PRESIDENT BETTER THAN
VAN BUREN.
>> SOLD!
THE ONE THAT WAS LEFT.
SAY IT WITH ME, ZACHARY TAYLOR.
OUR TWELVE PRESIDENT CAME WITH AN INSPIRING STORY.
>> THOUSANDS HEADED WEST OVER THE PLAINS AND PRAYERIES TO
CALIFORNIA.
SHOULD CALIFORNIA BE FREE OR SLAVE.
>> DEATH CAME TO ZACHARY TAYLOR BEFORE THE CONTROVERSY WAS
DECIDED.
>> Stephen: YES, JUST 16 MONTHS INTO OFFICE, HE DIED LIKE
A TRUE AMERICAN, OF ACUTE INDIGESTION.
>> DO YOU THINK I'M CRAZY FOR SPENDING $2,000 ON ZACHARY
TAYLOR?
>> I THINK THAT'S A BUY.
OKAY.
THANK YOU.
I THINK SO, TOO.
HE IS ONE OF THE PRESIDENTS.
DO YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING ZACHARY TAYLOR DID?
>> THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW SLOPPY HE WAS.
>> HE WAS A SLOPPY MAN.
THAT'S TRUE.
>> AND, NOW, HE WAS OUR SLOPPY MAN.
WE SALUTE YOU, PRESIDENT ZACHARY TAYLOR.
YOU WERE A DECORATED HERO IN THE MEXICAN-AMERICAN WAR.
A MEMBER OF THE WIG PARTY, AND YOU ATE A FATALLY LARGE MEAL.
>> OH, (BLEEP).
>> Stephen: FINALLY, IT WAS TIME FOR ARIEL TO HIT THE ROAD.
ARIEL?
ARIEL?
WHERE'S ARIEL?
♪ ♪ DON'T YOU REALIZE YOU'RE
BREAKING MY HEART ♪ ♪ I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOU, ANDETH
PLAIN TO SEE ♪ ♪ .
>> AND, NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE RISE FOR YOUR
"LATE SHOW" PRESIDENT ZACHARY TAYLOR!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( HAIL TO THE CHIEF PLAYING )
ARIEL!
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: OF COURSE, WE'RE SO HONORED TO HAVE ZACHARY
TAYLOR HERE, BUT WE HAD TO FIND OUT WHO THE MYSTERIOUS PHONE
BIDDER WAS WHO BEAT US ON MARTIN VAN BUREN, AND YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU THIS, BUT I PROMISE IT IS
ABSOLUTELY TRUE THAT WE DID NOT KNOW AT THE TIME BUT THE BUYER
WAS -- THIS GUY.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> OH, I'M SORRY.
DID YOU WANT MARTIN VAN BUREN?
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MICHAEL BOLTON!

Waxing Presidential With The Late Show Road Show

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