Cat Behaviorist Jackson Galaxy Converts Stephen Into A Cat Person

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
MY NEXT GUEST IS ONE OF THE RARE HUMAN STARS ON ANIMAL PLANET
WHERE HE HOSTS, "MY CAT FROM HELL."
>> THERE IS NO RATIONAL SPOT WITH ME.
AND THAT CONCERNS ME.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> IT'S OKAY, BABY.
THIS IS A CONCILIATORY GESTURE.
SHE'S LITERALLY REACHING OUT TO ME.
THERE'S NO COWT IN MY MIND, A SHROUD DISAPPEARS FROM HER, THAT
SHROUD OF MADNESS, AND REVEALS A MUCH SWEETER VERSION OF ME,
DESPERATE TO FIND HER WAY OUT.
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME JACKSON GALAXY.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS SHROUD OF MADNESS FOR A
MOMENT.
>> THE SHROUD OF MADNESS.
>> Stephen: I LOOK AT THAT FOOT EXPAJ YOU SEE HER REACHING
UP ON THE TO YOU, A CONCILIATORY GESTURE.
I SEE HER SAYING, "IF YOU MOVE ONE INCH OF WILL TEAR YOUR EYES
OUT."
>> AND SHE DID.
THIS WAS THIS WONDERFUL MOMENT.
THE MOMENT OF THE SHROUD, AND IT WAS GONE AND SHE KICKED MY ASS.
>> Stephen: HOW DOES ONE BECOME-- YOU ARE A CAT
BEHAVIORIST, WORKING TO HELP PROBLEM CATS ON "MY CAT FROM
HELL."
HOW DOES ONE BECOME A CAT BEHAVIORIST?
DO YOU SAY I HAVE A CAT AND I HAVE A COMMON BLOOD TYPE?
WHAT I CAN DO WITH THESE TWO SKILLS?
HOW DID YOU BECOME-- HOW DID YOU GET THE GIG JIEFS WORKING AT AN
ANIMAL SHELTER AND I NEVER HAD A CAT IN MY LIFE, REALLY, AND THE
CATS WOULD GATHER.
>> Stephen: AROUND YOU.
>> IT WAS LIKE I HAD TUNA IN MY POCKET.
THEY WOULD JUST GATHER, AND THEY STARTED CALLING ME "CAT BOY" AT
THE SHELTER.
>> Stephen: HOW LONG AGO ARE WE TALKING HERE?
>> 20, 22 YEARS AGO.
>> Stephen: SO YOU'VE BEEN WORKING WITH CATS FOR TWO YEARS.
>> FOR CATS.
>> Stephen: YOU DO KIND OF WORK FOR CATS, DON'T YOU?
>> I DO.
THEY DON'T PATE BILLS, BUT YEAH.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
SO WHAT'S THE MOST DIFFICULT CAT YOU HAVE EVER DEALT WITH?
>> WELL, THE ONE YOU JUST SAW WAS CLOSE TO.
THAT WAS-- THAT WAS A HECK OF A DAY.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S A COMMON PROBLEM?
PEOPLE BRING THEIR CATS TO YOU.
>> PEE, POOP, BLOOD, GUTS.
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY, WHAT WAS THAT, PEE, POOP, BLOOD, GUTS.
>> PEE AND POOP BLOOD AND GUTS.
THE CAT IS EITHER PEEING SOMEPLACE THEY DON'T WANT THE
CAT TO PEA-- "I" "E," OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
OR THEY'RE BEATING UP BOYFRIEND, CHILD, THAT SORT OF THING.
>> Stephen: DO YOU THINK CATS ARE CAPABLE OF LOVING US?
>> OF COURSE, THEY ARE.
>> Stephen: DON'T SAY, OF COURSE, THEY ARE.
THEY DON'T BETRAY'S LOT OF EMOTION.
I HAD TWO CATS.
>> AND LIKED MY CATS.
I LOVED MY CATS.
BUT I DIDN'T ALWAYS GET IT BACK FROM THEM.
I ALWAYS GET IT BACK FROM MY DOG.
>> WHICH IS WHY I HAVE DOGS.
THAT'S EXACTLY IT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) LISTEN --
>> Stephen: SO YOU TAKE CARE OF CATS BUT YOU LIVE WITH DOGS.
>> YOU NEED THAT PAYOFF, RIGHT?
YOU HAVE TO HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF A PAYOFF.
I DON'T MIND THE CONCEPT OF SAYING YOU LOVE ME, BUT THEN
THERE'S THE ZEN LOVE, THE TEMPORARY LOVE.
AND THAT'S CATS.
THEY DEFINITELY PUT OUT LOVE.
WE JUST DON'T RECOGNIZE IT A LOT OF TIME.
WE RECOGNIZE DOGS.
>> Stephen: OKAY, YOU HAVE SAID-- AND LET ME MAKE SURE I
GOT THIS RIGHT-- YOU SAID, "CATS ARE IN TOUCH WITH WHAT LIES
BEYOND THE TANGIBLE."
BECAUSE IT REALLY JUST LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE STARING INTO SPACE
TO ME.
( LAUGHTER ) WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
DO YOU MEAN, LIKE, CATS WITH PERCEIVE THE SPIRITUAL REALM?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
I TOTALLY THINK THAT ANIMALS IN GENERAL ARE IN TOUCH WITH AN
ENERGETIC PLACE THAT WE JUST EITHER TAKE FOR GRANT, WE DON'T
PAY ATTENTION TO IT, OUR MINDS ARE TOO FAST OR-- YOU.
>> Stephen: MEAN LIKE THE DOG WHISTLES THAT THEY CAN HEAR
THINGS WE CAN'T OR DO YOU MEAN LITERALLY SPIRIT REALM?
>> TOTALLY SPIRIT REALM . ABSOLUTELY SPIRIT REALM.
IF YOU HAVE EVER SEEN YOUR CAT JUST STARING AT A WALL, THEY'RE
NOT STARE -- >> Stephen: HAY, I JUST
THINK-- >> YOU'RE STARING AT ME THE WAY
THEY STAR AT A WALL.
>> Stephen: I'M THINKING, "THEY'RE A CHEAP DATE."
THAT'S TOTALLY ENTERTAINING TO HER.
>> I FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE THE ABILITY TO-- NOT THE AOF ABILITY
IT'S PRESENCE.
THEY HAVE THE PRESENCE OF MIND TO JUST BE STILL AND OBSERVE IN
A WAY THAT WE JUST DON'T.
>> Stephen: ANOTHER LET'S SEE-- LET'S GET SOME CATS OUT
HERE, LET'S GET SOME CATS OUT HERE TO SEE HOW YOU CAN HELP ME
DEAL WITH THEM.
( APPLAUSE ) >> COME TO DADDY.
COME TO DADDY.
>> Stephen: A COUPLE OF CATS OUT HERE.
AND YOU TELL ME HOW I SHOULD RELATE.
HOW SHOULD I RELATE TO A CAT?
>> ASSUMING, OF COURSE, THAT THEY RELATE TO ME IN A NICE WAY.
LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT.
>> Stephen: I HAD A CAT NAMED COOTIE WHO HAD A BIG BUTT.
SO WE CALLED HER BOOTY.
>> Stephen: COOTIE BEAT.
WOULD YOU LIKE HER?
>> I'D LOVE TO.
>> THAT IS POLLUTEY AND THIS IS MOON.
THAT WAS COMPLETELY AN ACCIDENT.
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GALAXY.
>> Stephen: PLUTO HAS ALREADY SCRATCHED ME.
HE HAS ALREADY TAKEN A DIG-- >> KITTENS HAVE LITTLE KITTEN
NAILS.
HI, BABY DOLLS.
THEY ARE, THEY'RE SHARP AS HELL.
AND THESE LITTLE GUYS ARE EIGHT WEEKS OLD, UP FOR ADOPTION WITH
KITTY KIND.
>> Stephen: HOLD ON A SEC.
VERY EXPENSIVE SUIT!
>.>> OH, IS IT?
NOT ANYMORE.
WELCOME TO MY WORLD, BUDDY.
>> Stephen: ANOTHER ALL RIGHT.
SO WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN-- THE CAT'S ALREADY FREAKING OUT ON
ME.
>> HERE WE GO.
MWAH!
DON'T BE SCARED.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT SCARED.
I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE-- >> HE'S GOT MY NECK.
HERE, YOU TAKE HIM.
AND BRING HIM UP TO YOUR CHEST BECAUSE THEY'RE INTO THE
HEARTBEAT.
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH.
>> THESE GUYS HAVE BEEN-- THEY'RE ONLY A COUPLE OF WEEKS
REMOVED FROM MOM RIGHT NEW -- >> Stephen: CATS LIKE YOU WHEN
YOU'RE WARM AND YOU DON'T MOVE A LOT.
>> AND YOUR HEART BEATS.
WE'RE GOING TO START WITH WHAT I CALL, "CAT I LOVE YOU."
BASICALLY, YOU'RE GOING TO DO A SLOW BLINK, RIGHT.
SO IF YOU WERE TALKING YOU WOULD SAY "I.
LOVE.
YOU."
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I.
LOVE.
YOU.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> OH, GOD.
WHAT A MOMENT!
ALL RIGHT, NO, BUT DO IT TO THE CAT, MAN.
>> Stephen: THE CAT'S NOT LOOKING AT ME, JACKSON.
>> WELL YOU HAVE TO HOLD HIM.
>> Stephen: SORRY.
EVERYTHING'S GOOD.
I'M NOT LOSING THE CAT.
>> YOU'RE LOSING THE CAT.
>> Stephen: I'M A FAILURE AS A CAT OWNER.
>> HERE.
>> Stephen: I'M GOOD.
>> TAKE A GOOD LOOK.
NOW, DO THE BLINK.
YOU GOING TO GIVE A LITTLE BLINK?
THEY'RE STARING AT YOU BECAUSE --
>> Stephen: NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER.
>> THEY'RE SCARED TO DEATH, MAN.
LET'S DO IT BACKSTAGE WHEN THE AUDIENCE IS GONE.
THEY MIKE OF MIGHT BE NERVOUS.
"MY CAT FROM HELL" AIRS ON ANIMAL PLANET.
JACKSON GALAXY, EVERYONE!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

Cat Behaviorist Jackson Galaxy Converts Stephen Into A Cat Person

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