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REGULARLY KNOW WE GO ON THE
STREETS TO TEST PEOPLE PASSING
BY OUR STUDIO IN ORDER TO PUT
THEM ON THE SHOW, WE ASK THEM TO
SIGN A WAIVER, BASICALLY A LEGAL
DOCUMENT THAT SAYS IT'S OKAY FOR
US TO PUT THEM ON TV.
IT'S SIMPLE, TAKES A COUPLE OF
SECONDS.
SIGN YOUR NAME, THAT'S THAT.
WE DECIDED TO PUSH ATE BIT TO
COMPLICATE THINGS, TO SEE HOW
MUCH NONSENSE PEOPLE WILL
TOLERATE FOR THE CHANCE TO BE ON
TV.
>> CAN WE TALK TO YOU FOR ABC?
I NEED TO GET A COUPLE THINGS
SIGNED JUST TO MAKE SURE WE CAN
USE YOU ON CAMERA.
IT'S A STANDARD RELEASE.
LAWYERS MAKE US ASK ALL THIS
STUFF.
YOU GIVE ABSOLUTE ASSURANCE
YOU'RE SOUND OF MIND AND BODY,
NOT CURRENTLY UNDER THE
INFLUENCE OF ANY FOREIGN
SUBSTANCES?
YOU'VE NOT BEEN UNDER THE
INFLUENCE OF ALCOHOL OR
NARCOTICS IN THE THE LAST 72
HOURS?
WILLING TO SUBMIT TO A B.U.S.?
BLOOD URINE STOOL?
>> I DRANK ON TUESDAY.
>> WHAT'D YOU HAVE?
>> RUM AND COKE, TWO.
>> TWO OF THOSE?
>> YEP.
>> ANYTHING TO EAT?
>> YEP.
>> APPETIZERS?
>> NOPE.
NACHOS.
>> DID YOU HAVE A SALAD WITH
YOUR MEAL?
>> NO.
>> IF YOU HAD A SALAD WHAT DRESS
DOING YOU LIKE?
RANCH, FRENCH, BLUE CHEESE,
HOUSE IS VINAIGRETTE.
>> HOUSE.
>> I'LL BE BACK TO TAKE YOUR
DRINK ORDER.
>> SIGN HERE.
YOU ACKNOWLEDGE AT A FUTURE DATE
YOUR VOICE WILL BE USED IN A
LINE OF DANCING HAMSTER TOYS?
>> OKAY.
>> DOES PARTICIPANT CONSENT AND
AGREE TO GO AHEAD AND JUST KEEP
IT IN THEIR PANTS WHILE WE DO
THIS?
>> YES.
>> BY SIGNING HERE, CAN I GET
YOUR SIGNATURE?
I GUARANTEE THAT I CAN DO BUT
MAY NOT BE ASKED TO DO A
SOUTHERN ACCENT.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> PRODUCER RESERVES THE RIGHT
TO SMELL YOUR HANDS OR FINGERS.
>> SMELL MY HANDS?
>> TURKEY.
>> SALAMI.
>> SALAMI, YOU HAD LETTUCE ON
THERE.
>> RIGHT.
>> I'M GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK MOLD OF YOUR HAND.
SHOVE THAT RIGHT IN THERE.
ALL THE WAY IN THERE.
PARTICIPANT GIVES FULL
PERMISSION TO MAKE A DUPLICATE
OF SAID PARTICIPANT'S HOUSE KEY.
>> IT'S NOT MINE.
>> THAT'S OKAY.
THIS IS FOR A BLOOD ALCOHOL
LEVEL.
JUST GO AHEAD AND BREATHE RIGHT
INTO THAT TUBE FOR ME.
>> I'M NOT HIGH OR UNDER THE
INFLUENCE AT ALL.
>> PRODUCER AGREES TO SCAN WITH
A BLACK LIGHT TO ENSURE THERE'S
NO BODILY FLUIDS.
LET ME JUST QUICKLY GET YOU.
OKAY.
IN ACCORDANCE WITH CODE 20.145
OF L.A. COUNTY ORDINANCE 16, FOR
SECURITY PURPOSES, PARTICIPANT
AGREES TO FULL PERMISSION FOR
PRODUCER TO RUMMAGE THROUGH
PARTICIPANT'S FURS, BAG AND/OR
FANNY PACK AND TAKE ANYTHING
PRODUCER LIKES FROM THEREIN.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN THERE?
>> SOME PORN.
>> SOME PORN?
CAN I SEE?
WHAT KIND OF PORN?
>> IT'S GAY PORN.
>> OH, ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU VERY
MUCH.
CHECK HERE FOR THE AMOUNT --
>> YOU WANT MY CITIZENSHIP?
>> YOU'VE GOT A PEN IN YOUR
MOUTH ALREADY.
PARTICIPANT AGREES TO CATCH THIS
SNAKE.
YES.
I'LL PUT A YES.
ALL FINAL SIGNATURES ON THIS
LINE MUST BE COMPLETED IN BLUE
OR BLACK SQUID INK.
RIGHT THERE.
AND WE'LL JUST DO THAT RIGHT
THERE.
THAT'S A SQUID.
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
>> IT'S JUST LIKE A REGULAR PEP.
>> I CAN'T.
>> JUST GET YOUR JOHN HANCOCK
RIGHT ON THERE.
>> ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
>> YOU CAN KEEP THAT.
>> AAH

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