'Healthcare or a New Phone' Is the New 'Repeal & Replace'

WELCOME TO THE SHOW, HOW'S
EVERYBODY FEELING?
FEELING GOOD?
I MEAN, FEELING HEALTHY, I HOPE.
BECAUSE YESTERDAY, HOUSE REPUBLICANS UNVEILED THEIR NEW
HEALTHCARE PLAN INTENDED TO REPLACE OBAMACARE.
OH YEAH, IT'S BRILLIANT.
THE PREVIOUS HEALTHCARE PLAN WAS NICKNAMED 'OBAMACARE' AND IF
THIS NEW PLAN DOESN'T WORK IT WILL BE NICKNAMED 'OBAMA'S
FAULT.' AND THERE ARE GOING TO BE SOME
ARE, THIS GETS RID OF THE IGHT MANDATES, THEY THOUGHT
INDIVIDUAL MAN-DATE WAS A GAY REALITY SHOW.
THIS IS ALREADY TAKING A LITTLE BIT OF CONTROVERSY.JAY CHAFETZ,
WHEN ASKED IF IT WAS CHOICE FOR AMERICANS --
>> AMERICANS HAVE CHOICES, MAYBE THEY SHOULD REF IN THEIR OWN
HEALTH CARE.
THEY ARE GOT TO MAKE THEIR DECISIONS THEMSELVES.
>> James: THAT'S RIGHT, CHAFETZ SAYS.
POOR PEOPLE NEED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN HEALTH CARE OR A PHONE.
AND JUST LIKE A SAMSUNG GALAXY 7, THAT COMMENT BLEW UP IN HIS
FACE.
DID I HEAR HIM CORRECTLY?
IS HE SAYING HEALTH INSURANCE COSTS THE SAME AS A PHONE?
HEY JASON, A PHONE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO LITERALLY COST YOU
AN ARM AND A LEG.
HIS COMMENT WAS COLD.
EVEN SIRI WAS LIKE, "ARE YOU NOT A HUMAN BEING?"
BUT THE REAL PROBLEM IS HE'S TALKING TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
LIKE HE'S TALKING TO HIS OWN KIDS.
"WELL, MAYBE IF YOU MOWED LAWNS OVER THE SUMMER LIKE I TOLD YOU
YOU COULD AFFORD THAT NEW KIDNEY THAT YOU WANTED."
(LAUGHTER) >> James: BUT LET'S TALK NOW
ABOUT THE ISSUE THAT'S REALLY TEARING AMERICA APART.
DONALD TRUMP'S TIE.
YESTERDAY NEW PHOTOS SURFACED THAT SHOW DONALD TRUMP HOLDS HIS
TIE TOGETHER WITH SCOTCH TAPE.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS PHOTO: THERE IT IS, JUST THERE.
>> Reggie: WOW, WOW.
>> James: IS THAT WHAT HE MEANT WHEN
HE SAID OBAMA WAS TAPING HIM?
(APPLAUSE) >> James: SCOTCH TAPE.
BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" LIKE
PUTTING SCOTCH TAPE ON YOUR MADE-IN-CHINA TIE.
I MEAN, LET'S FACE IT.
THAT HAIR.
THAT TIE.
DONALD TRUMP'S ARCH-ENEMY ISN'T OBAMA.
IT'S THE WIND.
AND FINALLY THE WHITE HOUSE STARTED GIVING TOURS AGAIN
TODAY.
AND VISITORS ON ONE OF THE FIRST TOURS GOT A BIG SURPRISE WHEN
DONALD TRUMP APPEARED DURING THE TOUR TO SAY HI.
THE TOURISTS WERE SHOCKED.
THEY WERE LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
SHOULDN'T YOU BE GOLFING AT MAR-A-LAGO?"
ANOTHER VISITOR SAID, "OH MY GOD, IT'S ALEC BALDWIN!"
AND TRUMP REPLIED, "NO, I'M THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES."
AND THEY WERE, LIKE "OH.ù ANY CHANCE WE'LL SEE ALEC
BALDWIN ON THIS TOUR?" AND HE SAID, NO, BUT HE IS ON
THE "LATE LATE SHOW WITH JAMES CORDEN."
THAT ACTUALLY DID HAPPEN.
HERE'S THE MOST INCREDIBLE THING ABOUT TRUMP SHOWING UP DURING
THIS TOUR.
HE WAS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF A PAINTING OF HILLARY CLINTON
FROM WHEN SHE WAS FIRST LADY.
I'M STARTING TO BELIEVE TRUMP WHEN HE SAYS HE'S BEING SPIED
ON.
BECAUSE CAN WE ZOOM IN ON THAT PAINTING?
SPYING ALL OVER THE PLACE!

'Healthcare or a New Phone' Is the New 'Repeal & Replace'

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