Shanice Goodwin Ninja-Rivals

>>> FIRST THEY SAID, YOU'RE TOO SMALL.
THEN THEY SAID, YOU'RE TOO BIG. THEY SAID YOU WILL NEVER MAKE
IT. BUT I DIDN'T LISTEN TO THEM
BECAUSE I KNEW ONE DAY I WOULD BECOME A NINJA.
♪♪♪ >> THE ADVENTURES OF
SHANICE GOODWIN, NINJA. >> I'M ALSO A CASHIER AT KOHL'S.
>> SHANICE, SENSEI HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED.
THIS IS YOUR MOST DANGEROUS MISSION YET.
SO I BROUGHT IN SOMEONE I THINK YOU WILL REMEMBER.
>> SHANICE, WELL, WELL, WE MEET AGAIN.
>> DOMINICA. I THOUGHT I HAD BANISHED YOU
FROM CHARLOTTE AND THE GREATER AREA OF CHARLOTTE.
>> YOU DID, BUT I HAD TO COME BACK.
HE WAS MY SENSEI, TOO. HE HAND-PICKED ME FROM THE
ORPHANAGE WHEN I WAS 5 YEARS OLD >> AND I HAVE BEEN A NINJA SINCE
I WAS 45. ALL RIGHT THEN.
LET'S PUT ASIDE OUR DIFFERENCES AND DO THIS.
>> GREAT. THEIR HIDEOUT IS RUMORED TO BE A
THEATER PROP STORAGE FACILITY ON THE WEST SIDE OF TOWN.
GOOD LUCK, YOU TWO. ♪♪♪
>> SO YOUR PEOPLE WILL SEND THE MONEY?
>> I TOLD YOU, I DO NOT YIELD TO THREATS.
I KNOW SOME VERY DANGEROUS PEOPLE.
LET ME GO AND NO HARM WILL COME TO YOU.
>> NO HARM WILL COME TO US? HE SAID TO US!
[ LAUGHTER ] ♪♪♪
>> FOLLOW ME. WE ARE SHADOWS.
♪♪♪ [ GLASS SHATTERS ]
>> OH, YES. I SENSE A PRESENCE.
>> YOU'RE BLUFFING. THERE'S NO ONE HERE.
>> LOOK! [ GLASS CRUNCHING ]
HOW COULD ANYONE BE IN THIS ROOM?
NO ONE COULD GET IN. >> YES.
AT LEAST TEN ARMED GUARDS ARE STATIONED AT EVERY ENTRANCE.
[ SCREAMS ] >> WHAT HAPPENED?
>> DAMN, THAT'S NASTY. >> SOMEONE IS HERE.
>> I TRIED TO WARN YOU. BUT NOW IT IS TOO LATE.
MY STUDENT DOMINICA IS A PROFESSIONAL ASSASSIN.
TO HER, KILLING IS LIKE BREATHING AND MY STUDENT SHANICE
HAS TRAINED AT THE YMCA EVERY OTHER WEEK FOR THE LAST THREE
YEARS. >> FIND THEM NOW!
>> YES, SIR! THERE'S NO ONE HERE, SIR!
♪♪♪ >> WHO DID THAT?
SHOW YOURSELF! >> IS THIS HOW YOU FIGHT?
HUH? YOU HIDE?
LIKE COWARDS? LET ME SEE YOUR EYES.
>> WITH PLEASURE. MY EYES WILL BE THE LAST THING
YOU SEE. >> YEAH.
AND MY EARS WILL BE THE LAST THING YOU -- YOU HEAR.
DAMN. >> YOU DON'T NEED TO TALK EVERY
TIME. >> GUARDS, ATTACK!
>> QUICK, THE CHAIR.
>> OUR MAN SHOULD USE HIS FISTS SO THAT HE DIES WITH RESPECT.
>> OH, MY BAD. WAS WE SUPPOSED TO ONLY DO NINJA
STUFF? OKAY.
THAT'S ON ME. >> ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, SENSEI?
>> THANK YOU BOTH. YOU ARE MY TOP STUDENTS.
>> YES, BUT I'M THE BEST, RIGHT? >> NO, WE ALL KNOW WHO'S THE
BEST. >> I GUESS THERE IS ONLY
ONE WAY TO SETTLE THIS. >> YOU THINK SO?
ALL RIGHT, THEN PUT THEM UP. >> ALL RIGHT, YOU LIKE A
CHALLENGE, YES? >> DOMINICA YOU WAS ALWAYS THAT
BITCH. LET'S GO.
♪ IT'S THE EYE OF THE TIGER ♪ ♪ IT'S THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Shanice Goodwin Ninja-Rivals - SNL

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