The Late Show's Street Show: Taking It To The Street, Vol. 2

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
SAY HI TO JON BATISTE AND STAY
HUMAN, EVERYBODY, THE BEST BAND
ON TELEVISION!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
NOW, JON, JON, WE TALKED A
LITTLE BIT ABOUT THIS TWO DAYS
AGO.
WE'RE IN LENT NOW, AND IT'S
FRIDAY, AND SO I'M NOT EATING
ANY MEAT ON FRIDAY BECAUSE IT'S
LENT AND I'M AING CATHOLIC.
BUT I'M NOT EATING ANY MEAT ANY
TIME DURING LENT.
ARE YOU GIVING UP ANYTHING?
>> Jon: UM, SURE, YEAH.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: IS IT-- IS IT-- IS
IT A SECRET, JON?
>> Jon: I HAVEN'T DECIDED YET.
I'LL ADD ON AFTERWARDS, YOU
KNOW, AFTER THE 40 DAYS.
>> Stephen: SO WHEN YOU COME
UP WITH WHATEVER YOU GIVE UP,
YOU'RE JUST GOING TO TAG IT ON
TO THE BACK OF LENT.
>> Jon: LIKE ROLL OVER
MINUTES?
>> DOES GOD ACCEPT ROLL OVER
MINUTES?
I DIDN'T READY THAT.
>> Jon: I PLAY A LOT.
IT WORKS OUT GLI HAVE TO CHANGE
MY PHONE COMPANY.
FOLKS, WE'RE OVER A MONTH IN TO
THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION, PEOPLE
ARE WORRIED.
ARE YOU GUYS WORRIED ABOUT THIS?
I'M WORRIED, TOO.
WILL TRUMP DEPORT FRIENDS AND
NEIGHBORS?
WILL THE PRESS BE SILENCED?
WHAT PERCENTAGE OF SEAN SPICER
IS LUNCH MEAT?
( LAUGHTER )
THESE ARE QUESTIONS THAT WE ALL
DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS.
AND THIS IS MANHATTAN, WHICH
DONALD TRUMP LOST BY 89%.
BACK IN NOVEMBER.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THESE ARE NICE PEOPLE.
THESE ARE NICE PEOPLE, TRYING TO
CHEAP DONALD TRUMP UP.
IT'S SO NICE.
SO THERE, OUT ON THE STREETS, A
FEW GLOOMY FACES AROUND.
BUT I REALLY BELIEVE THAT I'D
LIKE TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING IS
GOING TO BE OKAY, AND I WANTED
TO GET OUT THERE ON THE STREETS
AND REASSURE OTHERS WHO ARE
FEELING A LITTLE LOW.
JIM?
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, JON!
WELCOME TO-- UHH-- "LATE SHOW
STREET SHOW TAKIN' IT TO THE
STREET."
TONIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO LET
EVERYONE KNOW IT'S GOING TO
BE OK.
HERE WE ARE IN FRONT OF THE
BEAUTIFUL TRUMP INTERNATIONAL
WITH YOU AND THISBE.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
>> IT'S HARD TO GET THROUGH THE
DAY, YA KNOW.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> IT'S HARD TO KNOW HOW TO
BEHAVE, WHAT TO LISTEN TO, WHAT
TO LOOK FOR AND HOW TO MOVE ON,
AND HOW TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN
THE WORLD.
>> Stephen: IS THERE ANYTHING
SPECIFIC THAT'S WORRYING YOU
RIGHT NOW, MATT?
>> I MEAN, THERE'S A LOT OF
THINGS-- THE BAN ON IMMIGRATION,
GETTING RID OF THE N.E.A.--
>> Stephen: IT'S NOT A BAN.
IT'S NOT A BAN ON IMMIGRATION.
THEY JUST CAN'T COME HERE.
YOU COULD STILL EMIGRATE,
YOU JUST CAN'T COME HERE.
WHAT IS THISBE EATING THERE?
>> SHE'S EATING MILK-BONES.
>> Stephen: DID SHE BRING ENOUGH
FOR EVERYBODY?
>> YOU CAN HAVE ONE IF YOU WANT.
( LAUGHTER )
IT'S ALL YOU!
YUMMY, YUMMY.
>> Stephen: IT'S ACTUALLY NOT
BAD.
I WOULD USE THIS TO DIP INTO
HUMMUS.
I GOTTA SAY, THE MILK-BONE, IT
STICKS WITH YOU.
( LAUGHTER )
JUST WANTED TO REMIND EVERYBODY
THAT'S WATCHING, THIS INTERVIEW
IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY MILK-BONE.
MILK-BONE: YOU CAN EAT IT.
HOW ARE YOU GUYS FEELING?
ARE YOU GUYS WORRIED ABOUT
ANYTHING?
>> WE HAVE OUR OWN-- WE HAVE OUR
ISSUE WITH BREXIT.
YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD ABOUT
BREXIT.
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
YOU GUYS ARE PULLING OUT OF THE
EUROPEAN UNION.
>> WE'RE NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT,
AND WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT THAT.
>> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU GUYS
THINK WHEN YOU HAD HEARD THAT
PRESIDENT TRUMP HAD BEEN
ELECTED?
>> I CAN'T SWEAR ON HERE, CAN I?
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> HE'S AN ABSOLUTE WANKER.
>> Stephen: YOU COULD SAY THAT.
YOU CAN WANKER ALL YOU WANT,
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.
WHAT'S A WANKER?
>> IT'S LIKE A TOSSER!
>> Stephen: WHAT'S A TOSSER?
WHAT'S A TOSSER?
(BLEEP).
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH,
I KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
THE THEME OF TODAY'S "LATE SHOW
STREET SHOW, TAKIN' IT TO THE
STREET" IS, UH, EVERYTHING'S
GOING TO BE OKAY.
WHAT DO YOU NEED TO BE
REASSURED ABOUT?
>> WELL, YA KNOW, I ACTUALLY
KNOW THAT EVERYTHING'S GOING TO
BE OKAY, BUT I JUST WANT THE
REST OF THE PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OK.
>> Stephen: I'VE ALWAYS HEARD
THAT IF YOU JUST SMILE THROUGH
SOMETHING THAT UPSETS YOU, IT
ACTUALLY MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER
ABOUT IT.
>> IT STARTS TO MAKE YOU FEEL
BETTER ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: READY?
WE'RE GOING TO DO SMILE THERAPY,
OKAY?
PRESIDENT TRUMP SAYS HE WANTS TO
BRING BACK TORTURE.
( LAUGHTER )
PRESIDENT TRUMP ASKED RUDY
GUILIANI TO COME UP WITH A LEGAL
WAY TO BAN MUSLIMS FROM ENTERING
AMERICA.
( LAUGHTER )
THAT DOES FEEL BETTER.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: I SEE SOME OTHER
THINGS,
YOU GOT MILK-BONES.
WHAT'S THE OTHER ONE?
>> IT'S JUST A POUCH OF TREASURE
TROVES.
IT'S A WONDER NUGGET.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE WONDER
NUGGET?
>> IT'S PEANUT BUTTER SOMETHING.
>> Stephen: AND THIS IS FOR
DOGS?
IT'S CALLED THE WONDER NUGGET?
>> IT IS, YEAH.
( LAUGHTER )
I DO FEEL BETTER.
>> Stephen: WONDER NUGGET.
IT TASTES LIKE SOMETHING.
WHO WANTS A MARSHMALLOW.
ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT NUCLEAR
WAR AT ALL?
>> OH, OF COURSE, YEAH.
NUCLEAR FOOTBALL BEING IN
THOSE TINY HANDS IS PRETTY
DISTURBING.
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE
SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU FEEL
BETTER?
>> I SURE WOULD.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
SEE?
>> IT'S WORKING.
>> Stephen: THEY'RE ALL WEARING
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN
T-SHIRTS.
>> OH, NO!
>> Stephen: YEAH.
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.
NOW, MATT, BEFORE I LET YOU GO,
I'M GOING TO WRITE YOU A
PRESCRIPTION-- WHICH I'M ALLOWED
TO DO BECAUSE I GOT A TV SHOW--
FOR ONE CARNE ASADA BURRITO AND
20 MINUTES OF GOOGLING YOUNG
PAUL NEWMAN.
♪ ♪ ♪
YOU THINK YOU REMEMBER, BUT YOU
DON'T!
>> IT'S PRETTY SPECIAL
>> Stephen: DO IT SOME PLACE
PRIVATE.
>> I WILL.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEADS UP!
MARSHMALLOW!
DON'T TELL YOUR TEACHER!
DON'T EAT IT OFF THE GROUND!
MMM.
WELL, EVERYBODY, THAT'S IT FOR
"THE LATE SHOW: TAKING IT TO THE
STREET, EVERYTHING'S GOING TO
BE OK" EDITION.
I JUST WANT TO REMIND EVERYBODY
THAT EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE
OKAY, ALL RIGHT?
LOOK, THERE'S HIS PEE-PEE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

The Late Show's Street Show: Taking It To The Street, Vol. 2

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