Colorado Prepares for a Drive-Thru Tailor-Made for 4/20

WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
I HOPE EVERYBODY HAD A GREAT DAY.
ONE PERSON WHO HASN'T HAD A GREAT DAY IS FOX NEWS COMMENTATE
ERBIL O'REILLY WHO HAS BEEN FIRED FROM THE NETWORK AFTER
YEARS OF MULTIMILLION DOLLAR SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
(APPLAUSE) I MEAN FOX NEWS HAS NO CHOICE.
THEY HAVE A VERY STRICT 28 STRIKES AND YOU'RE OUT POLICY.
WHETHER WOMEN FROM FOX NEWS CALLED O'REILLY TO TELL HIM HE
WAS FIRED SHE SAID LOOK WE THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
BUT THE TIME HAS COME-- WAIT, BILL, ARE YOU MASTURBATING?
(LAUGHTER) BUT-- THIS IS A LESSON FOR ALL
OF US.
IF YOU BEHAVE LIKE AN ANIMAL WHO SEXUALLY HARASSINGS WOMAN YOU
CAN'T HOST A TALK SHOW.
YOU CAN BE PRESIDENT BUT YOU CAN'T HOST A TALK SHOW.
(APPLAUSE) VERY CLEAR.
NOW IN ADDITION TO BEING CABLE'S TOP RATED SHOW O'REILLY HAS
WRITTEN A NUMBER OF BEST SELLING BOOKS INCLUDING KILLING LINCOLNK
KILLING REAGAN AND KILLING KENNEDY.
AND I REALLY LOOK FORWARD TO HIS NEXT BOOK, KILLING TIME AT HOME.
IN OTHER NEWS, MARK ZUCKERBERG, C.E.O. OF FACEBOOK ANNOUNCED
THAT HIS COMPANY IS WORKING ON MIND-READING TECHNOLOGY THAT
WILL ALLOW PEOPLE TO DIRECTLY SEND THEIR THOUGHTS OVER THE
INTERNET.
I KNOW.
TIMELY, A WAY TO GET PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS ONLINE.
BECAUSE THAT WAS THE BIG PROBLEM.
I DON'T THINK FACEBOOK EVEN UNDERSTANDS ITS OWN STORY.
FACEBOOK IS IS NOT FOR HONEST THOUGHTS.
IT'S FOR WHAT WE WANT PEOPLE TO THINK WE THINK.
OH, YOUR BABY IS SO CUTE.
WITH THIS TECHNOLOGY, OH, GREAT, ANOTHER PICTURE OF YOUR STUPID
KID.
THEY SHOULD BE MAKING IT HARDER, THOUGH, SHOULDN'T THEY, TO POST
SOMETHING ON FACEBOOK, NOT EASIER.
LIKE WHEN YOU POST SOMETHING FACEBOOK SHOULD GO, ARE YOU SURE
YOU WANT TO POST THIS?
REALLY?
IT FEELS RACIST.
(LAUGHTER) NOW WE SAW THIS STORY TODAY, AN
ODD STORY.
A PACKET OF MCDONALD'S' DISCONTINUED SZECHAUN SAUCE FROM
1998 JUST SOLD ON, BAY FOR NEARLY $15,000.
NOW HERE'S THE FUN TWIST TO THE STORY.
THIS HAS CREATED SUCH A BUZZ, THE BIDDING GOT SO HIGH THAT
MCDONALD'S IS THINKING OF BRINGING THE SZECHAUN SAUCE
BACK.
O TO WHICH THE GUY WHO JUST SPENT 15 GRAND SAID WAIT, YOU'RE
GOING TO WHAT NOW?
FINALLY TODAY IT WAS APRIL 19th WHICH MEANS TOMORROW IS
4-20.
(APPLAUSE) SO JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW,
REG WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT DAY.
LOOK AT HIS SKS.
LOOK AT THE MAN'S SOCKS, LOOK.
(APPLAUSE) SO WE WANTED TO TELL BUT THIS
STORY, THE NATION'S FIRST DRIVE-THREW MARIJUANA DISPENSARY
IS OPENING TOMORROW IN COLORADO.
YEAH.
ALSO, ALSO DOWN THE STREET WILL BE THE WORLD'S MOST SUCCESSFUL
DU I CHECKPOINT.
I MEAN WHAT IS THIS GOING TO BE LIKE, YOU THOUGHT IT TOOK A LONG
TIME FOR PEOPLE IN FRONT OF YOU IN THE DRIVE THRU BEFORE.
IT WILL BE LIKE THE GUY'S LIKE, CAN I GETUUU HHHH WEED?
(LAUGHTER) AND YOU KNOW WHO COULD REALLY
USE A TRIP TO THIS MARIJUANA DRIVE THREW TO HELP HIM CHILL
OUT NOW THAT HE HAS A LOT OF FREE TIME, THIS GUY.
>> I CAN'T DO IT.
WE'LL DO IT LIVE, OKAY.
>> WE'LL DO IT LIVE, [BLEEP], DO IT LIVE [BLEEP] WE'LL DO IT
LIVE.
[BLEEP] SUCKS.
WE'LL DO IT LIVE!

Colorado Prepares for a Drive-Thru Tailor-Made for 4/20

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