Ernie Describes God to an Illustrator

- Do you like to paint, Ernie?
- Yep!
(laughs)
(mumbles)
(dramatic music)
- Hi, I'm Koji.
(laughter)
What's your name?
- My name's Darth Vader.
- Darth Vader?
Do people ever call you anything else?
- (laughs) No.
- No, they just call you Darth Vader?
- Yep.
- So today we're gonna draw some stuff.
We're gonna draw God.
Do you have an idea?
(laughs)
- Frog.
- What is he?
- His body's a frog and his head's a lion.
- His head's a lion?
A lion has, like, a main, right?
It's like...
- (screams) Not again!
He's gonna eat you.
- He's gonna eat me?
- [Ernie] That lion's scary.
- [Koji] Is he mean or is he just scary?
- [Ernie] He's just a little bit scary.
(laughter)
- [Koji] Is that kinda what a frog looks like?
Kinda like that?
- [Ernie] Is there the jumpy feet?
- Where does he live?
Maybe we can draw that.
Is it, like tornadoes and thunderstorms or...
- Just candy cotton cloud with chocolate milk ring.
- Cotton candy clouds?
- Yeah.
- [Koji] What else did you say?
- [Ernie] Chocolate milk ring.
- [Koji] Here's the chocolate milk ring.
- (laughs) That looks tasty!
- [Koji] Looks tasty?
(laughter)
If God had a son, what would he be?
- A cub.
- A cub?
- Yeah.
- Should we put him in the picture?
- Yeah, and the body of a crocodile
and the head of a cheetah.
- A head of a cheetah?
- [Ernie] He's cool.
- [Koji] He's cool?
- [Ernie] Yeah, cause I like the body.
- [Koji] Does God's son have a name?
- God Junior.
- His name's God Junior?
- They don't exist anymore.
It's just a story.
- It's just a story.
(laughter)
How come Junior looks so different from his dad?
- They're adopted.
- [Koji] But they live in the same place?
- That guy lives in Australia and the cub lives in Africa.
- [Koji] Okay.
We'll say that this is Africa.
- That guy protects people.
- God.
They defeat the demons and help Earth.
- Does he fight demons?
- Yep, they come down from Mars,
right... - Come down from Mars
- And come right down to Earth.
- They come in spaceships or do they just,
do they just fly? - Flying saucers!
- Flying saucers?
Okay.
So they come in a flying saucer.
- And they have big and sharp teeth and tentacles.
- And tentacles.
So they are furry and they have tentacles.
- [Ernie] And they have sharp teeth!
- How many eyes do they have?
- 19!
- 19?
Why do they have so many eyes?
- It's what the demons look like
when they get down to Earth.
- That's his lily pad so when they hop on
they sink to the bottom of the ocean.
- [Koji] So they're like sinking cause they tried
to land on his lily pad?
- Yeah, they try to make him die.
But when they try to get back to their planet
to escape, explodes.
Chaboom!
He's too strong.
- [Koji] I don't think they should have messed with God.
He seems like a pretty tough guy.
- It's almost finished!
- [Koji] Ernie, do you know who Jesus is?
- [Ernie] Jesus is the mommy.
The mother of the daddy and son.
- [Koji] And what does she look like?
- [Ernie] A Hexagon.
- A hexagon.
And where does she live?
- She lives in Asia.
- [Koji] Africa, Australia, ummm...
(laughs) Our geography is gonna be a little bit off.
So a hexagon has six sides.
- Yeah. - So we're gonna go
one, two, three, four, five, six.
- He has one eye.
- One eye.
What do you think, Ernie, is this
looking pretty good so far?
- Yep.
- [Koji] Do you wanna color it a little bit?
- [Ernie] I wanna color with one,
like twenty-eight pencils coming down to draw.
See?
- You sign it here?
- Ernie.
Ta-daaa! - At-da.
- Holy guacamole.
- We drew God.
- Good job, Koji.
- Good job, Ernie.
- [Woman] Good job.
(applause)
(dramatic music)

Ernie Describes God to an Illustrator

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