HOW HIGH CAN YOU GO? | Happy Room #5

*WAPOOSH*
STOP OF THE MORNIN' TO YA LADDIES! Wait.. that's not the right one.
CROP OF THE MORNIN' TO YA LADDIES! What? no.
Mop of the mornin' to ya?
Clippity-clop of the mornin' to ya.
Oh!
TOP OF THE MORNIN' TO YA LADDIES! MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE!
And welcome back to my happy room
It's my happy room because I get to explode the SHIT out of one VERY specific little dummy
and murder him, a bunch of times!
But the developers messaged me and said that there's been an update to the game
And that we have a desert mode now
which the-the main mode is just to kill him
And get new weapons and to unlock new stuff and blah-de-blah
egh-this new one-EGH
Is we have to launch him as-as high as we possibly can
Which
There's one weapon I feel like could launch him...
Preeetty damn high
I have.....MAX money?
To be able to do this?
Is that really what's happening?
Do I have the thing I need though?
I can't remember where it was
I don't have everything unlocked though
So maybe not bro
Oh those are black holes. I don't need them.
Right, OK, let's just launch him...naturally!
Let's just put cha' in there
And Jerry's gonna fly. Jerry's gonna say bye bye. Say bye bye to Jerry everybody
BYE!
Here we go!
6.9 meters Jerry
And then, yea, the laws of physics kick in and you don't go as far anymore
That's fine! That's not your fault Jerry!
You just keep on a dancin' , keep on a rollin' , keep on doin watcha' do
I'm going to figure out *blabberish*
And there's no roof on this now so I can't put anything up here.
Just put a portal on the bottom and have the portal at the top come out
A million miles above Earth, haha, I WIN!
All me!
There was, oh maybe some things are locked for this cuz I'm not allowed use them
I wanted to use the gravity guns that just like BUWEEEEEE!
yea...ok
I get it
You want to be a piece of shit
Oh no no, I get it, I get it, it's fine, it's fine, it's your game. You can do what ever the fuck you want
uhh I want to see what this does
THAT FUCKING BOUNCED YOU INTO THE GROUND
awww look a little cactus
That's cute....OH
OH there's LOADS of distances
JERRY Jerry
Suck my nipples (really)
You didn't tell me that
This is something that I've wanted to do to Jerry for a long LONG time
It's been a LONG time comin' my man
uuuuuuuuummmmmmm
I don't know what's going to blast you very far though!
MMHM
Oh ho ho. HO HO
You feeling what I'm feeling? Well probably not.
You're probably not feeling as full as I am cuz I ate just not long ago
BUT IF YOU ARE! You're feeling what I'm feeling
Indigestion
Heart burn, old man problems, here we go
YES
Those mines, those mines have got to go. YOU
Are like a bad boil on my arse that won't pop (whew)
HA-WHOOSH
fucking go
THAT'S the shit I like to see!
Not so much that, YES!
ALL THE WAY (to fuckin' Victory Town!)
HA HA HA, Almost hit 40 meters
It's like those games um like angry grandma, or toss the turtle
Those are fun games, now we should play some of them!
um, right let's see what happens if we do this
YES YES I see what you're saying
I see what you're saying
uhm but also FUCK YOU
what happens if I put one of them there
black hole yea
co-co-conserve the energy
there we go
a new record to the right
When you're trying to get somebody, as FAR as you can possibly get them
Do you think left or right? No you think UP!
That's the cool one
Lateral movement is what humans can do very well naturally
It's the verticality (grammarnazialarmrung) that we can't do!
BIIIIIITCH
ok.... what would a scientist do?
what would a scientist do. Well they would probably have a lot more math
goin on
probably actually figure out
How to do this very VERY well
Do I look like a scientist? No I hope not, those guys wear lab coats
Lab coats don't bring out my eyes. You know what lab coats do?
make my ass look fat
I said it, I didn't want to
Lab coats make my ass look fat
it's not my fault i like cheese cake
its so fuckinh delic- OH YOU'RE STILL WATCHING. OK. HERE WE GO
None of them shot
I'm going to have to ask you to suck a fart out of my arse right now (geesh)
because that-that-that's not good enough
it's not good enough for me
and everthings maxed out!
How do I make you go to SPACE
I wonder if Mr.Saw blades could help me out
could you guys launch Jerry into a very nice new neighborhood
specifically around like fucking Jupiter or something
UP we go, THAT'S a nice bounce to start off with. AND UP AGAIN
I was hoping that the portals would, like, somehow WOOSH, ya know?
Fucking momentum
Anything.
ANYTHING at all.
If you'd like to do cool shit for me, just phone me on 1800- GO- FURTHER!
OHHHHH its a sad day in my house
it's Friday
it's sunny outside
Great thing should be happening in my life , but are they?
NOooooooOOO
THIS ISA BUNCH A' BUL-
maybe I'm the problem
maybe the problem is me..
maybe I just don't have what it takes..
never thought about that..
you know why I never thought about it-
CUZ IM FUCKING AWESOME! You should be doing cool shit for me.
HUUUUNNhh
OHYOUWANNAGOFURTHER
hwaaauuUU
You're just fucking bouncin' up and down
Kids can do that on pogo sticks
THERE WE GO
YES JERRY YES
Ya have a lil' smile on yer face
Ya know what that means?
It's the first time you have felt alive
In yer pitiful
BITCH of an existence
right we have hats now
This is a new thing that's in the game too
Is that ya can change the skins and the hats and everything
Unlock 50% achievements, Cut off dummy's head with a melee weapon
A very bad image here
Happy room
What're ya trying to say you got some sort of fucking AGENDA?!
or something? No, go again
2x speed I wanna see you go
I wanna see you go super far
That's an analogy for my life
Just scrapin' along the ground
Barely getting by
Half arse smile on yer face and you just hunnh hunnhu huuuunnnh uhunh
AAAAAAAARGH
*thump*
Ya see whatcha did Jerry
YA drove me to DRINK
I DIDN'T WANNA HAVE TO DO THAT NOW I DIDN'T WANNA BUT I HAD TA
cuz it's the only way I can tolerate your BULLSHIT
you know what you know whaaaaaat
hahHAHAHA
uhuNHHUN
YES
*bouncy* *bouncy* *bounCAAA* *BOUNCAA* *BOUNCAAAA* *bouncebouncebouncAAAA*
Have any-*hic*
oh jesus ahAHHAHA
That one had some aftershocks
did any of you see that or hear that song? the bouncer song? I can't remember who sings it
but it has like a--a CGI music video
of a girl walking up to a bouncer n she's wearing like a dress
She kinda looks like she belongs in Clockwork Orange
She has like big pointy boobies
The weirdest shit ever go look it up right now
I mean I'll be here
tossin' and turnin' in my sleep
Just waitin' to count some sheep
All along
The Western Front
Jerry can suck my NUTS
srsly how do i make him go further?
I have no idea
when in DOUBT,
EXPLOOOSIIIOOOONS
this is what's going to make my life complete
I'm finally gonna be happy
*moment of truth*
*anti-climactic outcome*
*dissapointingly wimpy distance* (Ya tried, Jack....)
I have to wear umm
I have to put on my GLASSES for a second
because I'm not SURE
I SAW THE BULLSHIT THAT JUST HAPPENED PROPERLY!
Do my eyes deceive me?
Do my eyeballs lie?
No!
My eyeballs are very good at seeing the shit that's in front of me
Very VERY good, Jerry.
You know what that means? You're a piece of anus!
You're a tiny little chunk of anus that somebody had to have
chopped out!
Probably because they had
Some sort of mole on it or hemorrhoids or somethin'
Oooohhhh!
Hold
Yer mobile phones
for a fucking secorino
heheoosh!
YEAH!
Go! My majestic Cartman hat wearing--MOTHERFUCKER!
I got it. I got it. The secret is anti-grav
hoHoHO!
Jerry, I hope you like space as much as I do
because we're about to fill this
WHOOOOOOOOLLLLEEEEE
arena full of it.
yahaHaHAHAHA
Oho!
Good things are about to HAPPEN MAH BOY!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (Jack, settle down now)
To FUCKING SPACE and BACK again!
YES!!!
ALL THE WAY, JERRY!
Well, now we're fucked cuz we're all the way out in
I don't know, the Mahabi, or somethin'
But that's GOOD!
HAHAHA!
Mehaha Here we go
Again! Again!
I wanna see this shit
Yeah!
That's the GOOD shit!
Ya know when you have
lo-lots of fiber in your diet n' you take a poo?
And you know it's a good shit!
*snaps fingers*
RIGHT here ladies and gentlemen.
Well not that one. Because that's like sittin on a cactus.
Okay, there's the left record done
Huahaha ho hohor hoHOr maybe not.
Hoho! HuHOHO! Huha!
NOOOO!
There's too many of 'em. Ther's too many n' it's FUCKIN ya up, Jerry.
It's like bringin'
It's like bringin' a--a rooster
in
to like
a chicken coop!
And you're like, "Take your pick!"
and he's like,"There's too many!"
And his head explodes.
JUST like that
playing Happy Room is JUST like that
I feel what farmers feel
Some nice hop. Some nice bounce
But we're gonna need more than that, Jerry.
No.
THAT'S what we call failing at LIFE
You ginger biscuit!
Right, let's give you the--let's give you the fuckin shovel knight helmet.
Maybe you'll go further
That first bounce! It's a GOOD BOUNCE, Jerry!
Not gonna lie to ya'
THAT'S the little shits that I like to see
The little rabbit poos!
NICE! And I keep getting fucking achievements every time I pass a record
See?
I didn't mean to PAUSE
I didn't mean to pause, I meant to hit x2
But this is a GOOD
Good time to look and see what failure looks like right before it happens
If you--if you freeze frame, you can see the exact moment
when he turns into a piece of shit
You see it? Oooohhhh!!
Right there. He knows he fucked up
Fuck you, Jerry.
Startin' to wonder if a little, like, Dutch courage would help him.
Yeah, I know it's supposed to be alcohol, but in Jerry's case,
not so much.
More like a--
I dunno if freezin' him is gonna help.
or do anything
But everything's worth a shot when you're out of ideas
Look at him go!
(Dissapointed Jack is disappointed)
I'm so--I'm sorry, I'm trying to get across the disappointment of a father in my face
Still have a long ways to go
But I--I'm pretty sure you can see
the--the workings, the machinations of it coming together.
S'just like.
When you're--when you're like
"Go on, son! Go! Ride that bike"
And you push him, and he just goes
*fart noise*
And he falls over in the ground and you're just like,
(What have I brought into this world?)
And it's like you want your child to be like you
You want your child to be as awesome as you are.
And I'm pretty fucking awesome, Jerry
But right now,
you are a STAIN on my existence.
Okay.
Veto the blizzardoos.
They're--they're not helping.
The only thing blizzards ever helped is Overwatch.
Huwa!
YES!!!
No.
No. Jerry, I'm gonna have to sell ya for parts
I'm sorry, it's just the way it is.
AND THAT DOES IT for this episode of Happy Room
There's more still to see, and I wanna figure out
this thing.
If you guys have any suggestions on how to
bounce Jerry further into the air that I'm
just not aware of.
That rhymed.
Kind of, not really.
I'm a regular old poet, and I don't know it.
THAT rhymed. (of course Jack) But that's the obvious one
and everyone can do that
Now I'm basically
reading it like a second grade level.
It's not that impressive especially when you're 27
Um...
So let me KNOW!
This is fun. I wanna play more Happy Room.
We just ran out of stuff to do last time
so
*hic* Oh, MOTHER OF GOD!
Is there a fuckin' DEMON in me trying to get out?!? (yes Jack, it's Anti)
THANK YOU GUYS! So much for watching this episode! If you liked it,
PUNCH that like button in the face!
LIKE A BOSS!
And!
High fives all 'round.
*Whapoosh* *Whapoosh*
But thank you guys and I will SEE ALL YOU DUDES...
IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!!
Secret ending in 3
2
1
But I mean, will I?
I keep saying that I'll see you guys in the next video
but
we never know if I actually will. (the f*ck does that mean?)
X-files music (wot the f*ck?)

HOW HIGH CAN YOU GO? | Happy Room #5

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