How to deal with stubborn people in your life

- You ever feel like doing this, boom,
when you're dealing with a stubborn person in your life?
Could be a someone you're dating,
could be a coworker, could be a boss,
just remember this,
I was reading Will Durant's story of philosophy
about the great philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer.
And he said,
the uselessness of logic,
nobody's ever convinced by logic he said.
If you want to convince somebody,
if you wanna change their mind,
he said appeal to their desires,
their self-interest,
their emotions.
And you know
this applies by the way
if you're an entrepreneur you want to start a business,
this applies in all your marketing.
That's why you see Coca-Cola
or Pepsi (laughing) their little Kardashian commercial
that came out,
what they were trying to do
and what good advertising does,
it's not even logical.
Like you see like for the last 20 years,
Coca-Cola been doing ads,
and what do they do?
It's just like celebrities drinking the drink.
There's no logic,
they're not saying,
well we have you know this amount of sugar in it,
so it's gonna taste good.
We have 25 grams of sugar, you know.
They don't do anything like that,
it's not about statistics.
People are convinced emotionally.
Schopenhauer says we are not far removed
from our animal instincts.
So if you got a stubborn person in your life,
and you can't get 'em to budge
and see your side of the story,
or if you own a business
and you're trying to market a product,
I don't know what's going on over here.
Oh, leaf blower on the basketball court.
You have to start using,
stop using so much logic.
Remember what Schopenhauer said,
the uselessness of logic.
He didn't say it's kinda helpful.
He said it's basically useless.
Obviously there's a few people out there in the world
that you can reach through logic,
but not many, not many, so move on.
Find out what they desire,
what's their self-interest,
what do they want?
If you have a boss,
don't ask him for a raise.
You know, don't ask him for a raise.
That's your self-interest.
Say, you know what,
if I was getting paid a little more,
I bet you I would do
x, y, z for you.
Like I'd make your job easier,
or don't even start with the raise.
Say you know I'd like to make your job easier.
I got an idea, if I come in and do this for you,
man you'd be able to get home early.
You'd be able to make more money yourself,
and then say,
you know what would make,
then at the end you just say,
you know what would make that a little easier,
if I had a little raise.
Then I'd be a little more motivated to do this for you.
People are in love with themselves.
They're not in love with you,
even if they say there are.
The end of the day, and this is it's interesting,
I read a scientific study I forget what how they
formulated this experiment.
But basically it was an experiment about
couples, and it said no matter how you analyze it,
people love themselves more than their spouse.
Even if they do truly have love for their spouse,
they still love themselves a tad bit more,
almost always.
The one exception sometimes with kids you know,
if there's a fire,
parents will sacrifice themselves.
But if you read the book The Selfish Gene
by Richard Dawkins,
he says that's because
their genes are in their kids,
so they're really saving themselves
through the DNA inside their kids.
Anyway, not to get too complicated there,
just remember,
if you're dealing with stubborn people
and it's not working out,
they won't see your side of the story,
change up the game, flip the switch,
focus on them,
and then bring up your needs last.
The uselessness of logic.
You might be right,
they might be doing something unfair and unjust,
but if you wanna break through the thick skull of people,
appeal to their desires,
find out what they really want,
and help 'em get it,
and then inject your needs last.
Anyway, it's a good book.
I'm not a great philosopher,
but that's my layman's version.

How to deal with stubborn people in your life

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