The Lawyer

>> SO THERE YOU HAVE IT. I WAS FIVE MILES AWAY FROM THAT
BAR PLAYING POKER WITH HIS FRIEND, MR. BIRD, THE NIGHT OF
THE MURDER. YEAH.
THAT'S IT. I REST MY CASE.
>> ALL RIGHT, JURORS. YOU'VE HEARD OPENING STATEMENTS
FROM BOTH THE DEFENSE AND THE PROSECUTION.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] MR. DOUGLAS, YOU MAY NOW CALL
YOUR FIRST WITNESS. >> THE PROSECUTION CALLS
GREGORY SHARPE TO THE STAND. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> HOLD ON. EXCUSE ME, MR. DOUGLAS.
HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU THAT -- WELL, FRANKLY, YOU HAVE THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL EYELASHES? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR. >> I MEAN, THIS CAN'T BE THE
FIRST TIME YOU'RE HEARING THIS, RIGHT?
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> IT'S NOT, YOUR HONOR.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> WOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] WHAT A PICKLE TO BE YOU, HUH?
[ LAUGHTER ] WALKING AROUND TOWN, BRINGING
SPRING WHEREVER YOU GO. >> YOUR HONOR, CAN WE CALL THE
WITNESS, PLEASE? >> OF COURSE.
BAILIFF. >> DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL THE
TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND -- NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH.
WOW. [ LAUGHTER ]
UM, I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST, UM, I'M LOSING MY
TRAIN OF THOUGHT. >> MR. SHARP, WHERE WERE YOU ON
THE NIGHT OF THE 7TH? >> LIKE I TOLD THE COPS, IT WAS
POKER NIGHT, AND I WAS PLAYING POKER WITH MY BUDDIES.
>> INCLUDING MR. BIRD? >> YEAH, HE WAS THERE.
>> SO YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK ME IN THE EYE, THESE EYES AND TELL
YOU HE WAS WITH YOU THAT NIGHT? ALL NIGHT?
>> I, UM, WELL -- >> ALL NIGHT?
>> IT WAS POKER. >> MR. SHARP, WAS IT THEN?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> UM, WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME
TO SAY? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT ME -- >> COME ON, MAN.
>> AND TELL ME THE TRUTH. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> HE WASN'T WITH ME. HE'S WAS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT
KILLING PEOPLE. >> COME ON, MAN!
NO FURTHER QUESTIONS. >> OBJECTION.
WHAT IS THIS WITH THE EYELASHES? I'M APPALLED BY THE PROSECUTION
HERE. >> APPALLED OR JEALOUS?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> APPALLED.
THIS IS NOT FAIR. >> FINE.
THE JURY WILL DO THEIR BEST TO NOT BE INFLUENCED BY THE
PROSECUTION'S GORGEOUS, INVITING LASHES.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND THEY WILL ALSO DISREGARD THE
FACT THAT THE DEFENSE'S LASHES ARE CLUMPY AND UNREMARKABLE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> FINE, THANK YOU.
MR. SHARP, WHEN YOU WERE QUESTIONED BY POLICE, YOU STATED
THAT MR. BIRD JOINED YOU FOR POKER NIGHT AT YOUR APARTMENT.
[ LAUGHTER ] IN FACT, HE CAME TO YOUR PLACE
EARLY TO HELP YOU GET UP. YOU EVEN HAD LEFTOVER BEERS YOU
BROUGHT THAT NIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ]
NOW, I'M SORRY, BUT -- MY GOD!
[ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, NOW HE IS DIRECTLY
INFLUENCING THE JURY. >> THAT'S RIDICULOUS, YOUR
HONOR. PERMISSION TO APPROACH THE
BENCH? >> WELL, I WOULD LIKE TO VERY,
VERY MUCH. [ LAUGHTER ]
OH, BOTH OF YOU. >> I CAN GET YOU DISBARRED FOR
THIS, MANIPULATING A JURY. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE SO BLATANTLY DISREGARD --
[ LAUGHTER ] SO BLATANTLY DISREGARD PROTOCOL
IN SUCH A -- [ LAUGHTER ]
OH, MY. UM.
THERE -- [ BREATHES HEAVILY ]
THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU. MAYBE IT'S YOUR UNORTHODOX
METHOD. MAYBE IT'S THE WAY YOU CARRY
YOURSELF. ♪♪♪
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

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