Tom Hanks Hooked Up The 'Poor Bastards Of The White House Press Corps

WE'RE WITH THE LOVELY AND TALENTED TOM HANKS.
THAT WAS AN EXTRAORDINARY STORY YOU JUST TOLD ME ABOUT THE
PRESIDENT'S CLASSIFIED INFORMATION.
>> AND NOW YOU UNDERSTAND IF YOU REPEAT THAT ON YOUR SHOW, THERE
WILL BE A BLACK VAN SHOWING UP AT YOUR HOUSE.
>> Stephen: THERE'S ALWAYS A BLACK VAN SHOWING UP AT MY
HOUSE.
THAT'S HOW I GET TO WORK.
>> IS IT THE THING WITH THE FLAMES SPRAY PAINTED ON THE
SIDE.
>> Stephen: IT SAYS "AFTERNOON DELIGHT."
>> HEY, IF THAT VAN IS ROCKING...
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING THAT'S KIND OF
INTERESTING TO ME A COUPLE OF TIMES.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN PURCHASED THE WHITE HOUSE
PRESS CORPS THEIR OWN ESPRESSO MACHINE?
>> YES, YES, I DID THAT.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: AND THIS WAS-- THIS WAS-- DO I MIND IF I READ
THIS, SHOW THIS?
>> GO AHEAD.
>> Stephen: YOU SUBJECT THIS NOTE ALONG TO THE WHITE HOUSE
PRESS CO.
IS THIS IN THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS ROOM WHERE THEY HANG OUT?
>> IT'S IN BACK.
>> TO THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS CORE, KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT FOR
TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND THE AMERICAN WAY, ESPECIALLY FOR THE TRUTH
PART.
TOM HANKS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> BY THE WAY, THAT WAS BY-- THAT'S BY BILL-- THAT IS A
PULEITZ-- PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING DRAWING BY-- OH, GEEZ.
I'M BLANKING ON THE NAME.
>> Stephen: BILL ELDER?
>> YEAH, YEAH, THE GREAT WORLD WAR II CARTOONIST.
YEAH, I'VE DONE THAT FOR DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICAN
ADMINISTRATIONS BECAUSE THOSE POOR BASTARDS NEED COFFEE.
IT'S JUST AS SIMPLE AS THAT.
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH.
I THINK THIS PRESIDENT MIGHT BE KEEPING THEM UP, ANYWAY.
CERTAINLY ON THEIR TOES BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO
HAPPEN.
>> I HAVE A FEELING THE PROBLEM NOW IS AN AWFUL LOT THE SPIT
COFFEE ON PEOPLE'S LAPS.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" I THINK A LOT OF THAT STUFF.
THAT MIGHT BE-- THAT MIGHT BE HAPPENING THERE
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: SO WHEN DID YOU-- GO AHEAD.
>> THIS STARTED BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME WE EVER WENT-- MY
KIDS WERE LITTLE AND WE HAD A TOUR OF THE WHITE HOUSE.
AND THEY TAKE YOU DOWN THERE.
IF NOTHING IS GOING ON, IF THE PRESIDENT IS NOT THERE, YOU CAN
ALMOST GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT.
THEY TAKE YOU DOWN AND YOU GET TO STAND AT THE PODIUM AND
PRETEND YOU'RE POINTING AT SOMETHING.
AND YET, EVEN THOUGH THE PRESIDENT WAS NOT THERE, THERE
WERE ABOUT SIX STAFFERS-- OR REPORTERS AND TECHNICIANS IN THE
BACK OF THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS ROOM LIKE THIS UPON... WE SAID,
GUYS WORK HERE?" AND THEY SAID, "EVERY SINGLE
DAY."
I SAID, "THE PRESIDENT'S NOT EVEN HERE.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE HERE?" AND THEY SAID, "IN CASE OF
NUCLEAR WAR."
( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW, SAY SOMETHING HAPPENS.
AND WE SAW, THEY HAD THIS OLD MR. COFFEE THAT WAS ALL SKAGY
AND WHATNOT.
I SAID, "GUYS, YOU MIGHT BE GETTING A BRAND NEW CAPPUCCINO
MACHINE FROM PERHAPS A MILD-MANNERED REPORTER FROM A
GREAT METROPOLITAN NEWSPAPER WHO DISGUISED AS CLARK KENT FIGHTS
THE BATTLE FOR TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND THE AMERICAN WAY.
I'M A SUCKER, BUT WHEN I WAS A KID I TOOK THAT TO HEART "TRUTH,
JUSTICE, AND THE AMERICAN WAY" WAS SOMETHING YOU KEPT UP A
NEVER-ENDING BATTLE FOR.
>> Stephen: I AGREE, I AGREE.
AND PEOPLE DO GIVE THEIR LIVES FOR
( APPLAUSE ).
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: SPEAKING OF THE AMERICAN WAY, YOU HAVE THIS NEW
MOVIE HERE CALLED "THE CIRCLE."
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: WITH THE LOVELY AND TALENTED EMMA WATSON.
>> EMMA WATSON.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: IT'S ABOUT SORT OF
SOCIAL MEDIA AND SURVEILLANCE.
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS IN THE MOVIE?
WHO ARE YOU IN THE MOVIE?
>> WELL, IF YOU TOOK TWITTER, YOUTUBE, GOOGLE, INSTAGRAM, AND
APPLE AND JAMMED THEM ALL INTO ONE COMPANY, THEY WOULD DO
PROBABLY ONE OF TWO THINGS-- EXPLODE BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN
SELF-IMPORTANCE, OR ATTEMPT TO DOMINATE ALL OF THE WORLD AS WE
KNOW IT.
AND I PLAY THE GUY WHO, FOR WONDERFUL ALTRUISTIC REASONS,
WANTS TO IMPROVE THE HUMAN CONDITION AND SETS ABOUT COULD D
IT BY WAY OF THIS-- THIS SOCIAL MEDIA INTERNET COMPUTER COMPANY
CALLED THE CIRCLE.
AND IT ALL MAKES WONDERFUL SENSE.
>> Stephen: PEOPLE GET, LIKE, CAMERAS, THAT THEY CAN PUT ON
THEIR BODES.
>> THEY GET THINGS THEY WEAR ON THEIR WRISTS THAT CAN KEEP TRACK
OF THEIR HEARTBEAT.
THEY-- THEY-- THEY GET PADS THAT HAVE-- THEY CAN SEND MESSAGES
ON.
( LAUGHTER ) THEY-- THEY'RE ABLE TO, LIKE,
SEND, LIKE, KOOKS PHOTO PHOTOS A NUTTY RIDDLES TO PEOPLE ON THE
OTHER SIDE OF THE-- IT'S THE SCARCIEST, GOOFIEST, DYSTOPIAN
VERSION OF THE FUTURE YOU'RE EVER GOING TO COME ACROSS.
>> Stephen: BUT WHO WOULD PAY FOR THAT?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: WHO WOULD PAY FOR THAT?
>> I HAVE NO IDEA.
THERE ARE GAMES YOU CAN PLAY-- IT'S FUBBY, DAVE EGGERS-- WHO
WAS A GREAT NOVELIST.
HE WROTE THIS THING IN 2013.
NOW, USUALLY IN THE REALM OF SCIENCE FICTION OR REALITY
FICTION, THINGS LIKE THAT, A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT YOU
THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN FOUR YEARS AGO AND WHAT REALLY-- IS,
LIKE, EIGHT MILES WIDE.
THEY'RE NOT REMOTELY CORRECT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM.
I BELIEVE DAVE PUT A HEX ON US ALL, AND TRAVELED IN A TIME
MACHINE TO SEE WHAT IT'S GOING TO BE LIKE BECAUSE HE CAPTURED
IT FOUR YEARS AGO.
>> Stephen: WELL, IN THIS SCENE WE'RE ABOUT TO SEE HERE,
EMMA WATSON, HAS BEEN CAUGHT BY THIS TECHNOLOGY SNEAKING INTO
YOUR OFFICE.
>> YES, SHE HAD TO BE RESCUED FROM-- FROM A PRECARIOUS
POSITION THAT SHE WAS AT ILLEGALLY AND WE KNOW ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
JIM.
>> NOW THEY KNOW YOUR SECRET, DO YOU FEEL BETTER OR WORSE?
>> BETTER.
RELIEVED, ACTUALLY.
>> I AM A BELIEVER IN THE PERFECTIBILITY OF HUMAN BEINGS.
WITH WE ARE OUR BEST SELVES, THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.
THERE IS NOT A PROBLEM WE CANNOT SOLVE.
WE CAN CURE ANY SKIS, AND WE CAN END HUNGER.
WITHOUT SECRETS, WITHOUT HORDING INFORMATION, WE CAN FINALLY
REALIZE OUR POTENTIAL.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> I DON'T BELIEVE --
>> Stephen: I LIKE THE TURTLENECK.
>> YOU LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER BREAK HERE, AND WE'LL BE
RIGHT BACK WITH MORE MR. TOM HAIFNGS.

Tom Hanks Hooked Up The 'Poor Bastards Of The White House Press Corps

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