2017 Prom: Even Coffins Are In Play

WE HAVE A FUN SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
HARRY STYLES IS WITH US, CONTINUING.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) HIS WEEK-LONG RESIDENCY HERE.
HARRY HAS BEEN WITH US ALL WEEK.
HE'S BEEN HANGING OUT IN THE OFFICES AND YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE
EVERYONE'S SISTERS AND MUMS HAVE ALSO BEEN WITH US ALL WEEK
HANGING OUT IN THE OFFICES.
HARRY'S NEW ALBUM IS SO GOOD, IT'S INCREDIBLEMENT WALL WEEK
WE'VE JUST BEEN EVER ON THE CREW, STOPPING HIM IN THE
HALLWAYS, SINGING OUR FAVORITE SONGS FROM IT, AN DESPITE THAT
HE HASN'T LEFT, BLESS HIM.
NOW LOTS OF THINGS GOING ON IN THE NEWS.
THIS WAS AN INTERESTING STORY.
A COLORADO TEACHER HAS BEEN SUSPENDED AFTER HE ALLOWED
STUDENTS TO HIT A PINATA WITH TON ALD TRUMP'S-- DONALD TRUMP'S
FACE ON IT.
I DO HAVE TO SAY, IT WAS A PRETTY REALISTIC TRUMP PINATA
BECAUSE WHEN THE KIDS BROKE IT OPEN A BUNCH OF RUSSIAN COINS
FELL OUT.
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
TRUMP HIMSELF WEIGHED IN ON THIS DISINTD WITH THIS TWEET.
HE WROTE IS THERE ANY CANDY LEFT?
BRING ME CANDY.
I LIKE CANDY.
NOM, NOM, NOM.
IN OTHER NEWS, NOW IF YOU'RE NOT REALLY LOVING OUR PRESIDENT
RIGHT NOW, YOU MIGHT BE EXCITED TO HEAR THAT IN A RECENT
INTERVIEW DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON SAID HE THINKS RUNNING
FOR PRESIDENT IS QUOTE A REAL POSSIBILITY.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) REALLY?
REALLY?
I DON'T KNOW.
DO WE REALLY WANT A PRESIDENT WHO USED TO BE INVOLVED IN
PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).
>> James: NOW LOOK, I LOVE THE ROCK, I DO.
I LOVE THE ROCK, RIGHT, BUT YOU CAN'T GO FROM PRESIDENT TRUMP TO
PRESIDENT THE ROCK.
LIKE IF THIS KEEPS UP, THE FIRST FEMALE PRESIDENT WILL BE THE
CASH MEOWS GIRL.
(LAUGHTER).
>> James: YOU KNOW WHY, I CAN ACTUALLY SEE HIM WINNING THE
ELECTION.
THE ONLY WAY THE ROCK CAN LOSE IS IF HE'S RUNNING AGAINST
PAPER.
(APPLAUSE) NOW AS WE ALL KNOW IT'S PROM
SEASON RIGHT NOW.
AND A LOT OF GIRLS WHO ATTEND PROM TRY TO DO SOMETHING TO
STAND OUT, YOU KNOW, WHETHER THAT MEANS WEARING A BOLD DRESS
OR TOTALLY CHANGING THEIR HAIR OR YOU KNOW, SHOWING UP IN
AKOFFIN.
YEAH, NO, IN AKOFFIN BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT ONE GIRL DID IN NEW
SWRERSEE.
TAKE A LOOK.
-- (LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE).
>> James: NOW THE GIRL SAID THE REASON SHE DID THIS IS
BECAUSE WHEN SHE GROWS UP SHE WANTS TO BECOME A FUNERAL
DIRECTOR.
NOW SHE KNOWS THAT FUNERAL DIRECTORS DON'T ACTUALLY GET IN
THE COFFINS, RIGHT?
SOMEONE HAS EXPLAINED THAT.
YOU KNOW, I DID SOMETHING VERY SIMILAR WHEN I WENT TO PROM.
I BROUGHT MY MOM AS MY DATE IT WAS MORE OF A SOCIAL DEATH.
I DIDN'T GO IN AKOFFIN BUT SOMETHING DIED THAT NIGHT.
(LAUGHTER) FINALLY WE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
APPRECIATE THIS.
A TOY COMPANY IN GERMANY IS OFFERING A STUFFED VERSION OF
FASHION DESIGNER KARL LAGGER FELD'S CAT-- LAGERFELD CAT FOR A
RETAIL PRICE OF $545.
500-- YOU KNOW A REAL CAT IS FREE, RIGHT?
AN ACTUAL LIVING CAT CAN BE ADOPTED FOR $545 DOLLARS LESS
THAN THIS THING.
$545 FOR A STUFFED CAT.
I HAVE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING LIKE IT.
EVEN DONALD TRUMP SAID I'M NOT GRABBING THAT PUSSY.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

2017 Prom: Even Coffins Are In Play

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