Amy Schumer Was The Belle Of The Ball At Met Gala

( BAND PLAYING ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN, EVERYBODY!
GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: NOW, JON, JON,
OBVIOUSLY, LIKE ME, I'M SURE WHEN YOU GET HOME THE FIRST
THING YOU DO IS SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR OUR SHOW TO COME ON SO
YOU CAN WATCH IT, RIGHT?
>> Jon: YEAH, I SIT DOWN AT THE PIANO, TURN ON THE TV, AND
WATCH.
>> Stephen: LAST NIGHT WAS ONE OF THE RARE TIMES I DID NOT JUST
WATCH OUR SHOW.
I ALSO WATCHED OUR DEAR FRIEND JIMMY KIMMEL.
I JUST WANT TO SAY TO ANYBODY OUT THERE, IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN
JIMMY'S MONOLOGUE LAST NIGHT ABOUT HIS CHILD WHO WAS WORN
WITH A HEART DEFECT, AND THEY HAD TO HAVE SURGERY, AND THE
FIRST SURGERY HAS BEEN SUCCESSFUL, AND THANKFULLY HIS
SON, BILLY, IS HOME WITH HIM AND HIS WIFE.
PLEASE GO WATCH IT.
IT'S AN ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL, HEARTFELT STORY, AND IT'S A CALL
FOR ALL PEOPLE TO HAVE ACCESS TO THE SAME QUALITY HEALTH CARE
BECAUSE IT IS A BASIC HUMAN NEED AND AN ASPECT OF OUR DIGNITY AS
CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES.
AND.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL MAN.
I'M SO GLAD THAT BILLY IS AT HOME AND RESTING WITH HIS MOM
AND ANYWAY, CHECK IT OUT, YOU GUYS.
ALSO, NEXT WEEK, I HOPE YOU'LL CHECK OUT ONE WEEK FROM TONIGHT
WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL SHOW BECAUSE I'M COMING UP ON MY
20th ANNIVERSARY OF HAVING STARTED ON "THE DAILY SHOW."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) 20 YEARS!
I DON'T-- I DON'T LOOK IT!
( LAUGHTER ) I THINK IT WAS JUNE 2 OF 1997.
I REMEMBER THAT IT WAS THE FIRST DAY.
BUT WE'RE NOT DOING A SHOW THAT WEEK, SO NEXT WEEK, A WEEK FROM
TODAY, A BUNCH OF MY OLD BUDDIES FROM "THE DAILY SHOW" ARE GOING
TO BE ON HERE, AND WE'RE GOING TO-- WE'RE GOING TO REMINISCE,
WE'RE GOING TO TALK, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE FUN.
WE'RE GOING TO DO SOME COMEDY ABOUT ALL THOSE GREAT TIMES WE
HAD TOGETHER.
SO I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THEY'RE REALLY TALENTED.
SPEAKING OF INCREDIBLY TALENTED, MY FIRST GUEST IS THE INCREDIBLY
TALENTED COMEDIAN BEHIND "TRAINWRECK" AND "INSIDE AMY
SCHUMER."
SHE NOW STARS IN "SNATCHED."
>> DO YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING TONIGHT, LIKE, SOMETHING CRAZY,
OR LIKE-- DO SOMETHING AMAZING?
>> YEAH, I'M SURE WE CAN RUSTLE UP SOME ADVENTURE TONIGHT.
>> YES.
>> YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME AMY
SCHUMER!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
>> OH, BOY!
JON BATISTE.
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH.
NOBODY LIKE HIM.
NOBODY LIKE HIM.
>> HI!
>> Stephen: HEY, LISTEN, THIS IS THE SECOND TIME WE'VE SEEN
EACH ENERGY ABOUT 24 HOURS.
>> THANK GOD.
>> Stephen: WE SAW EACH OTHER LAST NIGHT AT THE FABULOUS MET
GOOLA.
>> YOU WERE THE BELL OF THE BALL.
>> Stephen: WAS I?
>> YOU WERE BEST DRESSED.
>> Stephen: NO, YOU WERE.
LOOK AT THIS THING.
>> WOW!
WHAT AN OUT FIT.
>> Stephen: AMY, WHO ARE WE WEARING IN THIS PHOTOGRAPH?
>> WE ARE WEARING ZAC POSEN.
>> Stephen: WE LOVE ZACH.
>WELOVE ZACH ON "THE LATE SHOW".
YOU ACTUALLY LET ME TOUCH IT.
>> I KNOW.
>> Stephen: I THINK YOU INSISTED THAT I TOUCH IT.
>> I MAY HAVE THREATENED YOU TO TOUCH IT, RIGHT.
>> Stephen: IT'S LIKE LEATHER AND ARMOR AT THE SAME TIME.
IT HAS SCALES.
>> I DON'T KNOW, DUDE, BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, HOME GIRL WAS
SWEATING.
WHY CAN'T WE BE COMFORTABLE AT THAT THING?
I GET IT -- >> Stephen: IS THIS ONE OF THE
THINGS YOU WEAR IF YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE WEIGHT FOR THE WRESTLING
TEAM.
SPIT IN A CUP ALL DAY BEFORE YOU WEIGH-IN.
>> THAT'S WHAT THEY DO FOR ACTRESSES, YOUR WEIGHT-- NOT ME.
>> Stephen: THAT'S THE FANCIEST THING YOU GO TO, RIGHT,
BECAUSE EVERYBODY IS IN THE FANCIEST DRESS POSSIBLE.
IT'S IN A FANCY LOCATION.
>> YEAH!
>> Stephen: THEY CLOSE THE BAR SO EARLY.
>> I KNOW, WHAT'S THAT ABOUT I HAD TO GO HOME EARLY AND BLACK
OUT ON MY OWN.
>> Stephen: GOT TO TAKE CARE OF THE SISTER DOING FOR HERSELF.
YOU ARE ALSO, SPEAKING OF STYLE.
>> YES!
>> Stephen: THIS IS ALL SHOW AND TELL HERE TONIGHT.
YOU'RE ALSO ON THE COVER OF "IN SCIEL" RIGHT THERE.
>> WOW!
HONK, HONK.
WHY ARE THE PAGES STUCK TOGETHER?
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: THE PERFUME
SAMPLES.
THEY BLEED.
THEY BLEED.
>> YEAH!
>> Stephen: NOW YOU SAID-- YOU SAID-- I THINK YOU ABSOLUTELY
LOOK BEAUTIFUL ON THIS COVER.
YOU SAID YOU RECEIVED BACKLASH IN THE PAST WHEN IT COMES TO
SWIMSUIT PHOTOS?
WHAT'S THE DEAL?
>> NO, IT WASN'T REALLY-- YOU DON'T HAVE --
>> Stephen: JUST TRYING TO PUT SOME ASSES IN THE SEAT.
>> OKAY, SURE, GUYS, TUNE IN, TUNE IN.
IN EVERY INTERVIEW I'VE BEEN DOING TO PROMOTE "SNATCHED," THE
JOURNALISTS WILL BE LIKE SO YOUR BODY, LIKE, WHAT'S THE PLAN?
I'M SERIOUS.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
>> I MEAN, THEY TALK ABOUT IT-- I'M IN A BATHING SUIT IN THIS
MOVIE.
THERE'S NUDITY.
I FEEL GOOD ABOUT MY BODY.
I THINK OTHER PEOPLE NEED TO WORK ON HOW THEY FEEL.
I'M GOOD.
BUT THEY TALK TO ME LIKE I NEED TO BE BUTTERED TO FIT THROUGH A
DOOR.
I'M LIKE I CAN WALK RIGHT THROUGH A DOOR.
>> Stephen: IS THAT IN THE MOVIE BECAUSE THAT'S--
>> OH, NO.
KEEPER CHEAPE >> Stephen: AS SOMEONE WHO IS
LIKE A BIT OF A FASHIONISTA NOW-- YOU ARE.
>> WHAT!
>> Stephen: YOU'RE ON THE COVER OF "STYLE" MAGAZINE.
>> WHATEVER THEY SLAP ME INTO BUT I'M VERY GRATEFUL.
>> Stephen: DO YOU GET FREE STUFF.
DO YOU GET PEOPLE SEND THIS STUFF AND, "WEAR THIS THING
BECAUSE WE'D BE HAPPY."
>> TOTALLY.
AND I DIDN'T HAVE ANY MONEY GROWING UP, SO I'M STILL REALLY
GRATEFUL TO GET FREE STUFF.
THIS PAST WINTER CANADA GOOSE GAVE ME A COAT.
>> Stephen: OH, THOSE ARE GREAT.
>> YEAH, SUPER WARM.
AND WAS PSYCHED.
IT WAS MY FAVORITE, IT WAS LIKE...
FREE.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
I WAS LIKE MMM!
FREE.
SO I WORE IT.
I GOT PHOTOGRAPHED IN IT BECAUSE OF PAPARAZZI LOVES THIS.
( LAUGHTER ) I'M LIKE WHAT DO YOU WANT.
THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET.
ANYWAY, I WAS DOING AN EVENT TO PROMOTE MY BOOK, AND THESE
PICKETERS CAME IN AND THEY'RE LIKE REAL YELLY.
AND I WAS LIKE LET'S COMMUNICATE.
BUT THEY DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
IT WAS PICTURES OF ME IN THE COAT.
AND THEY'RE LIKE, "CANADA GOOSE IS MURDERED!
>> Stephen: "CANADA GOOSE IS MURDERED."
THEY DON'T KILL THE GEESE.
>>UT OF NO BUT TO MAKE THE HOODS THEY KILL COYOTES.
YEAH.
I WAS LIKE OH, MY GOD.
IF I MADE A LIST OF THE ANIMALS I CARE ABOUT MORE THAN COYOTES--
( LAUGHTER ) IT WOULD BE A LIST OF EVERY
ANIMAL.
( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T CARE.
YOU KNOW, I WAS LIKE, I DON'T CARE.
>> Stephen: THEY'LL COME FOR YOUR DOG THE COYOTES.
>> I KNOW.
I'M LIKE WHATEVER.
YOU CAN'T MAKE SOMEBODY CARE ABOUT COYOTES IF THEY DON'T.
>> Stephen: THE ROADRUNNER DOESN'T.
>> NO, THE ROADRUNNER WOULD BE PSYCHED.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
I WAS LIKE PETA, I PROMISED I WOULD NEVER WEAR FUR AGAIN...
VISIBLY.
( LAUGHTER ) AT ALL TIMES I'M WEARED TORTURED
OSTRICH UNDERWEAR.
I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT.
YOU CAN'T SEE IT.
>> Stephen: I GOT A MENTAL IMAGE.
I GOT AMENTA IMAGE.
>> I TORTURE THEM IN MY APARTMENT.
>> Stephen: WELL, I WANT TO HEAR MORE ABOUT THAT, OBVIOUSLY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE AMY SCHUMER.
STICK AROUND.

Amy Schumer Was The Belle Of The Ball At Met Gala

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