MICHAEL AND SARAH.
>> Kristen: IT'S A BIG DEAL,
RIGHT?
>> HOW ARE YOU DOING?
THAT WAS THE SWEETEST THING.
>> Kristen: I KNOW, I KNOW.
>> I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE
LIFE.
>> Kristen: YOU REALLY NAILED
IT.
>> REALLY, TRULY.
BY THE WAY, YOU ARE DOING AN
INCREDIBLE JOB.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Kristen: YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M TRYING REALLY HARD.
>> YOU'RE DOING SO WELL.
>> Kristen: IT'S BEEN A LOT OF
FUN.
AND I'VE WORKED WITH YOU A TON.
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
>>.
>> Kristen: I FEEL LIKE WHEN
WE'VE WORKED TOGETHER WE'RE
ALWAYS REALLY, REALLY MEAN TO
EACH OTHER, LIKE [ BLEEP ],
[ BLEEP ].
>> EVERY SINGLE TIME.
>> Kristen: BECAUSE YOU WERE
[ BLEEP ] ON --
I WAS THE VAGUELY RAPY TEACHER.
>> Kristen: CORRECT, CORRECT.
I WAS A JERK ON "PARKS AND REC."
>> NO, NO.
FIRST YOU WERE A JERK TO ME ON
"PARTY DOWN."
>> Kristen: THEN I WAS A JERK ON
"PARKS AND REC."
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Kristen: YOU WERE THE
ULTIMATE JERK BECAUSE YOU WERE A
REAL DEMON ON "THE GOOD PLACE."
>> YEAH.
SO THAT MEANS IT'S -- I'M DUE
FOR YOU TO BE A TOTAL [ BLEEP ]
TO ME.
>> Kristen: I'D LOVE TO!
>> THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
>> Kristen: I WOULD LOVE TO!
>> I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
>> Kristen: BUT THAT'S NOT OUR
RELATIONSHIP AT ALL.
>> NO, NO.
>> Kristen: WE'RE VERY NICE TO
EACH OTHER.
>> SUPER NICE.
BORING NICE WHITE PEOPLE.
>> Kristen: I'D SAY BORING,
YEAH, I'D GO WITH THAT.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN ACCURATE
DESCRIPTION OF WHO WE ARE AS
FRIENDS.
>> HOW BORING -- I CAN TELL
YOU -- I'LL CHALLENGE YOU.
HOW BORING WAS YOUR NIGHT LAST
NIGHT?
BECAUSE I HAD A PRETTY -- THE
WAY I ENDED MY NIGHT LAST NIGHT?
I GUARANTEE WAS MORE BORING AND
WHITE THAN YOURS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Kristen: LET'S SEE WHAT WE
DID, WE PUT THE KIDS TO BED AND
THEN PLAYED OUR VERY FAVORITE
BOARD GAME SETTERS OF CATAN.
>> WOW, WOW.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Kristen: WHICH IS NOT BORING
AT ALL, IT'S A STRATEGY GAME,
IT'S SUPER FUN.
>> INCREDIBLE GAME, I WILL GIVE
YOU THAT.
>> Kristen: YEAH.
>> AS A BORING WHITE PERSON,
THAT IS TERRIFIC.
OKAY, OKAY.
THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
E DOZED OFF WITH THE iPAD -- PUT
THE KIDS DOWN, DOZED OFF WITH
THE iPAD ON MY CHEST WATCHING
BEHIND THE SCENES VIDEOS TO LAST
NIGHT'S EPISODE OF "SURVIVOR."
>> Kristen: YOU TAKE THE CAKE,
THAT'S THE MOST BORING THING
EVER.
I ALMOST FELL ASLEEP WHILE YOU
WERE TELLING ME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEN I REMEMBERED, YOU'RE
HOSTING, YOU HAVE TO STAY AWAKE.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Kristen: OKAY, AND YOU -- NOW
WAIT, I WATCH "JIMMY KIMMEL
LIVE" ALL THE TIME AS I'M SURE
YOU, DO WE LOVE HIM.
>> YES.
>> Kristen: YOU WERE ON ONE TIME
AND HAD THE FUNNIEST SEGMENT.
YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE OBSESSED
WITH "STAR WARS."
>> YEAH.
>> Kristen: DID YOU KNOW THAT
TODAY IS NATIONAL HOLIDAY, MAY
THE 4th BE WITH YOU.
MAY 4th.
MAY THE 4th BE WITH YOU.
YOU LOVE "STAR WARS."
>> SO MUCH.
>> Kristen: YOU TOLD A STORY
ABOUT HOW YOU INVITED MARKHAM
MILL TO YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY?
>> YEAH, I DID.
I BELIEVE IT WAS MY 2nd BIRTHDAY
PARTY.
I BELIEVE IT WAS "EMPIRE STRIKES
BACK" WAS COMING OUT.
I REMEMBER EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT
WHOLE SEASON AROUND WHEN "EMPIRE
STRIKES BACK" CAME OUT.
AND SO I WROTE HIM A LETTER
INVITING HIM TO MY BIRTHDAY
PARTY.
>> Kristen: DID YOU THINK HE WAS
REALLY GOING TO COME?
>> I DID.
I DID.
>> Kristen: SO CUTE.
>> I THOUGHT AT LEAST IF HE GOT
IT AND HE WAS ABLE TO, IF HIS
SCHEDULE WAS CLEAR.
>> Kristen: RIGHT, OF COURSE.
>> HE WAS PROBABLY GOING TO
COME, RIGHT?
>> Kristen: RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
IF HE WASN'T DOING ANYTHING ELSE
THAT DAY --
>> NO.
>> Kristen: HE'D BE LIKE, I'M
GOING TO HIT THIS BIRTHDAY PARTY
UP.
I'M GOING TO HIT THIS
2-YEAR-OLD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY UP.
>> LET ME GET THE JET.
I GOT TO GET UP TO SANTA CRUZ
AND HIT THIS BIRTHDAY PARTY.
>> Kristen: BUT HE DIDN'T SHOW.
>> HE DIDN'T SHOW UP.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
I REMEMBER NOT BEING LIKE
CRUSHED OR ANYTHING.
IT WAS FINE.
I KNEW HE MUST HAVE BEEN
INCREDIBLY BUSY.
>> Kristen: YEAH.
>> BUT THEN IT WAS -- I GUESS IT
WAS LIKE TWO YEARS --
[ "STAR WARS" THEME MUSIC
PLAYING ]
>> OH, NO.
>> [ BLEEP ].
>> Kristen: WHOO!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
>> Kristen: THANK YOU FOR
COMING!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> [ BLEEP ].
HOLY [ BLEEP ].
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
>> I'M SORRY I MISSED YOUR
BIRTHDAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I WAS CHECKING MY DIARY AND THAT
WEEK I HAD TWO OTHER BIRTHDAYS,
A BAR MITZVAH, AND A SUPERMARKET
OPENING.
>> THIS REALLY IS ONE OF THE --
ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS OF MY
LIFE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
FOR REAL.
>> Kristen: WE WANTED TO GET YOU
SOMETHING TO MAKE UP FOR I