Tony Robbins: Finding The Real You ( Tony Robbins Psychology )

There are certain patterns that cause
people to be fulfilled to be happy to
fit to be strong to feel alive to be
vibrant to have passion in their life to
do well financially but even more
importantly emotionally psychologically
spiritually in their health in their
relationships and there are also
patterns and make people frustrated
overwhelmed depressed sad lonely cause
them to be struggling financially
struggling with their bodies struggling
intimately and those patterns they're
not because there's something wrong with
somebody's because of a pattern that
we're doing what's the fastest way to
create a change in basically developing
the one thing that all people have in
common to succeed their leaders because
I don't care what what style you are I
don't care if you're a mom if you're a
great mom you lead your child you're not
led by your child or great dad you're
great businessperson you're great
salesperson you're a great negotiator
you're great anything you're a great
human being I think this has been my
entire life's obsession what makes the
difference in people's lives and that
leadership component as I say doesn't
always mean somebody follows you a
leader somebody lived life on their
terms that you will never settle for
less than you can be or share or give or
create it's not what we get that makes
us happy it's who we become how we live
our life who we are as a person people
can take away all the things but who you
become no one can take away and the
problem is most of us are trying to be
something or not and it isn't so much
about change not changing yourself the
change happens when you be yourself know
thyself that's the hard part for most
people and then be thyself because most
of us in our lives out of a desire for
respect or achievement or love or
connection or something we've been
trying to be the way we think we have to
be in order to get that love respect
appreciation whatever it is even after
it's some unconscious level and we've
been doing it so long that we think that
this is who we are because success
without fulfillment is failure and I
can't tell you how many people I work
with who are supposedly the best in the
world at what they do and they have more
money than they can spend and they have
all these people that love and respect
them and yet they're unhappy inside
because if you want to know what's
really you where you're going to be a
I've is when it's really you and you may
think you know who you are because
you've been living a certain way but
I'll tell you how you'll know you'll
feel euphoric you'll feel strong you'll
feel unlimited you'll feel free I have
seen and a three million people around
this earth in 80 countries I've seen
just better than you can see and there
are only so many patterns and what
you're going to find underneath all of
this behavior is we have the same needs
when you understand what those needs are
and which ones you're focusing on you
start to understand why people do the
crazy things they do including you and I
and you begin to understand hey there
might be a better way to meet my needs
and I don't to get caught up in this
game of stress and frustration upset or
I could really help this person I care
about because I can see what's really
going on part of what we want to
accomplish here as leaders is we want to
become practical psychologists we want
to understand what's really going on so
we can help so we can make a difference
so we can transform so yes of course you
can do better in your business because
the more you understand about what
people need and want but greater you're
going to be the better manager a better
leader the better mom or dad the better
friend and there's a better units
available when you understand what's
driving you but most of us are running
patterns over and over again and we want
to free that up to free it up we got to
break the pattern we've got to do things
that are different so we're gonna do
something different I'm not here because
I believe in positive thinking if you
think's that's what I believe you don't
know much about me I'm not one of those
people who believes you're supposed to
go to your garden and chant there's no
weeds there's no weeds there's no weeds
there's wait right there all right
that's what I believe here's what I
believe I believe if you really want to
be effective you got to tell the truth
what I want you to get is the single
most important skill in life it's the
word that all leaders have what would
that word be influence what changes
companies is leaders the only way to
change the company is leadership and I
want to change a company that I own and
I want to make a shift in that company
the number one thing I'm going to do is
shifting leadership that might be taking
leaders to a different level that might
bring new leaders in by the new leaders
of New Voices with new perspectives with
new skill sets new directions but we
need to take things to the global
leaders solve problems and leaders
maximize resources if you're going to
solve problems you can't do it yourself
it would already been solved you have to
get others to help you to do it that
requires influence true give you to get
people to maximize resources that
requires influence if you're going to
get people to partner with you provide
you resources capital suppliers anything
that requires influence if you're going
to have an impact on your kids or your
community or the world that requires
influence there is no more important
skill of leadership than influence and
yet most of us think of it like selling
and as a result we don't master
influence so I'm not here today to try
and get you to become a master of
influence in 45 minutes or so by
chatting with you here because we have
so many other speakers this is the area
of life I am most focused on because I
know that if you can't influence you
can't lead but if you can influence
powerfully intelligently with integrity
there's no limit to whatever you can
envision and what you can make real and
if your influence becomes not just use
the influence but you're able to
influence systems people company culture
if you can turn other people into
influencers now whatever you vision
about can be made into reality and so as
a skill of influence we're going to ask
ourselves company agree leaders are what
change companies raise hands you adapt
say I
and leaders number one skills influence
of degrees say aye
but then the question becomes how do you
influence how do you influence
consistently with integrity you can
influence many ways you can do without
integrity but the good news is we live
in a world today where whatever you do
is transparent to the world because
there are no secrets anymore other I
don't try to have a secret today bless
you you can forget the secret but the
Internet with a culture we have the way
the world is today there are no more
secrets and whatever you think is still
possible keep secret give it three or
four more years and it'll be impossible
every phone call you make is recorded
there's no single phone call that goes
in turn out in North America but they
don't have a recording of and they can
search by word by tone by tempo they can
even recognize voices now there's no
such thing as privacy everything you've
ever put on the Internet is there
forever and people know it and can
search it the way you write is
searchable now you cannot find you email
you can put on somebody else's email and
the structure of your language and the
way you influence things can be study at
this level so the good news about that
is manipulation as a ongoing tool for
success is over but adding value will
never go out of style truth will never
go out of style
so influencing with integrity is the
secret but what really influences people
do facts and figures we give you no
facts and figures out of a core story if
I can influence people no it's the
weaving that story together in a way
that produces what shifts people and
that's human emotion ultimately the big
game here is emotion you have to
influence emotion you have to influence
the most of your people if you're going
to maximize resources if we all agree as
we talked about the other day it's not a
lack of resources it's a lack of what
resourcefulness if you're creative
enough if you're playful enough if
you're determined enough if you're
focused enough you can find a way if
you're giving enough if you're generous
enough if you're honest enough if you're
courageous enough you will get people to
help you you will find the way you will
make that thing happen you'll access the
resource you got someone to coach you
teach you loan it to you let you try it
drive it experience it so it's the
ability to influence emotion because
that's what affects our intellect that's
about a mine of course
story is only there to give you a set of
facts to educate someone that will make
them emotional up to make a decision and
what they do is they go through a series
of things that you have emotions about
it may save them in an unemotional way
but the only reason they work is because
you know they're going to open the
person's emotion how many agree with me
on the side so as leaders we can never
forget the humans are emotional
creatures including ourselves and to
influence other people we have to know
what already influences them
we can't ever forget what truly
influences them it's going to come down
to our ability to connect with them in a
deep emotional level or get others to do
the same here's how I say it a really
simple term to influence someone you
have to already be influenced right to
move somebody you better be moved to
touch somebody you can't touch somebody
about your product or service or vision
right here your company if you're not
touched to persuade others you have to
be persuaded
you can't give somebody else what you
don't have now you may have it
intellectually here's the challenge we
first meet somebody in your relationship
and you're all excited what's a little
energy like zero to ten make the sound
of that energy you meet somebody you're
totally excited I make this at six
months six years twenty years later
that's scary at it and it's not time
because there are people I've been with
them then together 65 years and they're
still out of their mind for each other
they make the same amount of noise you
did in the beginning here what changes
is very often when you're around
something enough I don't care what it is
there's a law called the law of
familiarity the law of familiarity says
this if you round something enough you
take it just a little bit for granted as
a matter what it is it's not that you
don't care if it used to it it's that
the variety of it is not quite as high
it's not so new and with that sometimes
you give it less significance even
though in your heart you know it's
significant you don't keep the aliveness
of it it becomes simple you
intellectualize versus something you
feel inside your body with a passion so
there people say but we love each other
yeah oh that's great you know hug each
other right now and then you say you
leverage govision focus like that was
that I was in the beginning no it is in
time it's that most people don't
understand that this emotion this
intensity this passion has to be
constantly reinforced every single day
and like any muscle if you don't use it
you so then you have the base
understanding why you do what you do but
you've lost the energy that makes it
alive and so if you're going to be
touching people you got to be touched
then the question is how do we influence
ourselves how do we influence other
people we got to get them into their
emotions we got to get ourselves into
the emotions they're going to move us to
action we got to do that ongoing because
otherwise all the stuff you wrote down
will die it'll die in your book it will
die in your head there has to be a level
of emotion level hunger in you that
makes you follow through there's got to
be level of energy knew that when you go
share with people you're able to
influence them to follow through and
when they don't do it enough to get back
in there with them again and get them to
do it again
this is where the whole game gets won or
lost degree you disagree on this so what
we got to look at is first of all us how
many do you have days when you wake up
and you feel like I don't want to talk
to people today how many got things like
this in your life say I but again as I
said the other day if you're the leader
you don't have that choice if you're the
leader you have to get in a good state
if you leaders you have to get yourself
in that place and how many of you have
had some gut checks let me see again in
the last six months twelve months in
your business with economic going to be
changing like has never changed before I
mean I those gut checks say I so what do
we do we have to become masters of
influence which means we have to be able
to master the state of our own
organization to master state of our own
organizations got to know how to change
that how fast my friends how fast and
where does it have to start ourselves
since were the first constraint and if
we can do with ourselves and influence
then we can teach everybody else to
influence we've said business is
innovation and marketing you have to
influence be able to innovate because
they're not going to just do it because
they're used to what works and it's
easier and they know it innovation means
massive what change how many people go
give me more massive change
my life with all the other things I'm
trying to hang on to they're not going
to do that you have to influence people
to innovate and marketing is influence
so what influences us is our state's how
do we change our states let's start with
you and I and with anybody I want to
work with you've worked with me before
you know the first answer if you're
going to change somebody state the
fastest way to do it is physical trying
to change somebody's mind is really hard
change their body their mind will go you
doubt it give someone enough alcohol and
just see how quickly you can change them
true given have alcohol I don't care who
they are they're going to change what
are you changing biochemistry physiology
physical body and the emotion the mind
will shift that's why people take drugs
it's why people eat when they go e it's
a biochemical change in their body so
but we can do this through movement we
can do this your change so if you want
to be the leader and you're going to be
effective first thing I say to all of
you going home so you don't feel
overwhelmed is you need to develop a
ongoing discipline because we are our
rituals I mean a physical one if you
want to say well why is my life the way
it is today look at your rituals what do
you call them rituals are not you have
them most of you get up and you have a
set of rituals you go straight to email
or you go straight and work out or
you'll have your breakfast or you hit
the snooze alarm at least three times to
ritual who knows what I'm talking about
here and if you want to know what
somebody's like you can see the rituals
these are looking anybody's body in this
room if you have them take their clothes
off and you know some of the rituals or
lack thereof is it true if every day you
get up and your ritual is you go to
Starbucks in order a smoke a book a cup
or whatever those things are that you
have right and a big muffin and whatever
it is right that's what you do every day
it's not hard to figure out what you're
going to be like by 10:30 in the morning
you're going to look at me next coffee
next whatever is going to stimulate your
adrenal glands like crazy and they're
going to drop predictably and we know
what your stress levels can be like we
know when you're going to go and fade
it's predictable because of your rituals
if you eat a certain way you can predict
that person's going to be fat and tired
use a different way you know if a person
eats and they exercise a certain way you
don't advise any of your life who here
works out five days a week never misses
it's just your life let me see your
hands look at look at the number beeping
that's fantastic how does really give it
a hand that's really fantastic who here
honestly never works out consistently
right don't clap
here's what's interesting
I'm not saying one is right is one is
wrong but with those two different
rituals create a different body yes or
no if we wanted to really make it clear
we'd say everybody works out five days a
week stand up like a look at them sit
down every doesn't work out stand up
look at them it'll be pretty obvious now
some people's metabolism is different
than get by with different things that
you get the picture don't you your
relationships today are the results of
your rituals if the first thing you do
every day when you come home is hi honey
and then you go and give a little peck
on the cheek and then you sit down and
start typing your emails or you flip on
the news it's not hard to know what your
relationships going to be like you guys
might love each other but it's going to
be one boring dead relationship it's
like having a brother or sister but if
your new ritual was and you just in the
beginning you made it a ritual just made
for fun you say every day when I come
home the minimum to do those already
yell my husband or wife's name or
sometimes I want my wife's little crazy
so I go Lucy you think I'm all and then
we both go running wherever she is now's
where everything else we go running
full-speed like lovers haven't seen each
other in six months we do it ask my
assistant all the time not every day but
it's a ritual to this process right it's
just a crazy thing thank you thank you I
appreciate the help I'm telling you to
do this I'm telling us to then once you
create yours because when you do that
and you're playful and crazy and you do
the regular basis that you can't wait to
see each other and the biggest ritual
that we have besides physical by the way
let me just say to you this this when
you go home if you want to transform
your business transform you by creating
first if you don't already have one a
set of physical rituals that you're not
going to miss I don't care what three
days a week four days a week something
is going to make you physically strong
because in a place where if there's
going to be a lot of fear the way you
deal with crisis is number one thing you
should do is feed your mind and you're
doing that get yourself new answers
immerse yourself in new environments get
new voices have new perspectives ask
some new questions isn't that what we've
been doing here
right and we're doing it together bring
all these people together I basically to
create innovation in your life and
marketing I've assembled here 19 people
you assemble five days your life and
we're just rocking day and night it's
the total immersion of what I taught you
in innovation it's really what it is but
it's going to continue forward to
continue that we've also been managing
your state to a great extent all right
most of you don't call home in four or
five days they start clapping like crazy
and screaming and shaking you don't do
that yourself right and so something's
going to go like wow it doesn't feel the
same as it's a seminar and stuff no I'm
back here by myself and my people aren't
doing this but some of you will go home
and initiate this you're going to have
your physiology five your five minutes
of physiology shift once an hour once
every 90 minutes or no more than once
every two hours you're going to start
your morning with everybody you're going
to bring in and get some little audio
clip of something from a movie or
something that blast across you know the
room and everybody stand at attention
you're going to do some crazy stuff and
you're smart
Gophers apples and see what they do they
got the most crazy stuff going on there
all the stuff that I do in seminars they
do every day at their location with
their people and people can't wait to
get the work than they're in a certain
State

Tony Robbins: Finding The Real You ( Tony Robbins Psychology )

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