Trump's Israel Visit Aims To Promote Lasting 'Peach'

THEN JUST THIS MORNING, THE PRESIDENT DID SOMETHING ELSE
HISTORIC, HE TOOK WHAT'S BELIEVED TO BE THE FIRST OPEN
DIRECT FLIGHT TO ISRAEL FROM SAUDI ARABIA.
PRESIDENT TRUMP IS HOPING HIS VISIT TO ISRAEL WILL HAVE
LONG-TERM EFFECTS.
IN FACT, THE WHITE HOUSE PUT OUT THIS ACTUAL PRESS RELEASE TODAY
SAYING THAT ONE OF THEIR MAJOR GOALS IS TO PROMOTE THE
POSSIBILITY OF LASTING PEACH.
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) YES, LASTING PEACH.
AND I THINK THIS WILL REALLY RESONATE WITH THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE BECAUSE AMERICANS REALLY WANT SOMETHING WITH PEACH IN
IT -- PEACH ICE CREAM, PEACH COBBLER, IM-PEACH -- ANYTHING
WITH PEACH!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SPREAD AGING A MESSAGE OF HOPE.
NOW, PEOPLE WERE WORRIED THIS WOULD BE A TENSE TRIP, BECAUSE
LAST WEEK TRUMP GAVE CLASSIFIED ISRAELI INTELLIGENCE TO THE
RUSSIANS.
BUT TRUMP EXPLAINED WHY HE'S TECHNICALLY INNOCENT.
>> JUST SO YOU UNDERSTAND, I NEVER MENTIONED THE WORD OR THE
NAME "ISRAEL".
NEVER MENTIONED IT DURING OUR CONVERSATION.
THEY'RE ALL SAYING I DID.
SO, YOU HAD ANOTHER STORY WRONG.
NEVER MENTIONED THE WORD ISRAEL.
>> Stephen: OKAY, OKAY "NEW YORK TIMES," YOU GOT THAT ONE
WRONG, OKAY?
YES, I GAVE AWAY CLASSIFIED INFORMATION TO THE RUSSIANS THAT
EVERYONE KNEW IS FROM ISRAEL.
BUT I DIDN'T SAY ISRAEL UNTIL RIGHT NOW.
ISRAEL, ISRAEL, ISRAEL."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
IT'S FUNNY, YOU SAY A WORD ENOUGH, IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING
ANYMORE.
ISRAEL.
( LAUGHTER ) TRUMP ALSO TRAVELED TO JERUSALEM
WHERE HE BECAME THE FIRST SITTING PRESIDENT TO VISIT THE
WESTERN WALL, THE HOLIEST SITE IN JUDAISM.
"NICE WALL.
HOW DID YOU GET MEXICO TO PAY FOR IT?
( LAUGHTER ) BY THE WAY, BAY TH BY THE WAY --
MAZEL TACO."
( LAUGHTER ) DOES EVERYONE WANT A LITTLE
DONALD TRUMP PALATE CLEANSER?
GOOD, WE HAVE A CLIP TO SHOW YOU.
IT'S A LITTLE JARRING SO I'M GOING TO PREFACE IT BY SAYING
THAT EVERYONE IS OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE OKAY?
GOOD.
NOW WE CAN ENJOY THIS.
>> OH!
>> Stephen: SHE'S OKAY!
SHE'S OKAY.
ALL RIGHT?
IF I'VE SAID IT ONCE I'VE SAID IT A THOUSAND TIMES!
WE HAVE TO STOP SELLING HERRING-SCENTED
CHILDREN'S-ROMPERS.
( LAUGHTER ) LUCKILY, THE LITTLE GIRL WAS
IMMEDIATELY SAVED BY A NEARBY ACTION-GRANDPA WHO LEAPT INTO
THE SEA-LION INFESTED WATER.
>> MY GOD!
OH, MY GOD!
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, ACTION GRANDPA.
THANK YOU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) LIKE A SEXY ACTION GRANDPA!
( APPLAUSE ) YOU NEED A SEXY ACTION GRAND
PENNSYLVANIA NOT THAT THE OTHER YOUNG
ABLE-BODIED ADULTS DIDN'T ALSO HELP BY RECORDING AND SAYING "OH
MY GOD.
OH MY GOD."
( APPLAUSE ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
RACHEL MADDOW, THE REIGNING QUEEN OF CABLE NEWS, IS HERE!
IT IS POSSIBLE DONALD TRUMP WILL COME UP SOMEWHERE IN OUR
CONVERSATION.
STICK AROUND!

Trump's Israel Visit Aims To Promote Lasting 'Peach'

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