X-Men Community College

♪♪
[CHEERING]
>> SWEETHEART, UM,
WE NEED TO TALK.
>> OKAY.
>> WE FOUND THIS PAMPHLET IN
YOUR ROOM .
>> I - I CAN EXPLAIN.
>> XAVIER'S SCHOOL FOR GIFTED
YOUNGSTERS? SWEETHEART,
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU WERE
A MUTANT.
>> I DON'T KNOW! I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU WOULDN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE.
>> WOULDN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE?!
SWEETHEART WE COULDN'T BE
MORE PROUD.
>> REALLY? SO, I CAN GO TO
XAVIER'S SCHOOL?
>> UM, WELL UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S
VERY EXPENSIVE AND PRIVATE SO'S
WE'VE LOOKED INTO SOME OTHER
OPTIONS FOR MUTANT SCHOOLS.
>> REALLY? THERE'S MORE THAN ONE
SCHOOL FOR MUTANTS?
>> INDEED THERE IS!
>>WHAT?
>> I AM PROFESSOR ZLANKMIN.
THESE ARE TWO OF MY STUDENTS,
AND WE ARE HERE TO INVITE YOU
TO ENROLL IN ZLANKMIN'S
COMMUNITY COLLEGE FOR
SEMI-GIFTED YOUNGSTERS.
>> MUTANT COMMUNITY COLLEGE?
REALLY MOM?
>> JUST GIVE THEM A CHANCE!
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT THEY CAN DO.
>> ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE MY
POWERS YOUNG LADY.
[SNEEZES]
>> THAT'S IT?
YOUR POWER IS SNEEZING?
>> YES, AND EVERY TIME I DO, A
RANDOM PERSON IN THE WORLD DIES.
>> WHA- OH MY GOODNESS THAT'S
HORRIBLE!
>> PERHAPS, BUT IT'S VERY
EFFECTIVE WHEN FIGHTING
MY ENEMIES.
>> EFFECTIVE? THERE'S LIKE A
SEV- ONE IN SEVEN BILLION
CHANCES THAT IT'LL EVEN AFFECT
YOUR ENEMIES.
>> NOT IN THE SPRING, WHEN MY
HAY FEVER ACTS UP.
I SNEEZE 12, 13 TIMES.
DIVIDE SEVEN BILLION BY 13,
AND WOOH!
THEM BAD GUYS START TO SWEAT.
>> I'M NOT GOING TO THIS SCHOOL!
>> OKAY, HOLD ON. I'M SURE THIS
GENTLEMAN HAS
A PRETTY COOL MUTATION.
>> YEAH!
>> BETTER BELIEVE IT, BUB.
>> ACTUALLY, YOU DO LOOK REALLY
FAMILIAR. ARE YOU THAT ANGRY GUY
WHOSE BONES ARE FILLED WITH
ADAMANTIUM?
>> NO, THAT'S MY COUSIN. MY
BONES ARE FILLED WITH HELIUM.
>> WHAT?
>> THAT'S WHY I HAVE
CEMENT-FILLED BOOTS. OTHERWISE
I'D FLOAT AWAY LIKE AN ANGRY
BALLOON, SO.
>> WELL, DO YOU AT LEAST HAVE
CLAWS?
>> BETTER.
FEATHER CLAWS.
THEY USUALLY ALWAYS COME
OUT OF MY BODIES.
>> ARE YOU CRAZY? DO YOU WANT
SOME INNOCENT CHINESE OR INDIAN
PERSON TO DIE?
THAT'S NOT RACIST, IT'S JUST
MATHEMATICALLY PROBABLE.
>> YOUR SCHOOL IS FULL OF CRAZY
PEOPLE, OKAY?
THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE IN
COMMON WITH PROFESSOR X IS
THAT YOU'RE BOTH BALD!
>> UH, I AM NOT BALD! OKAY?
RECEDING SLIGHTLY? MAYBE.
BUT THESE LUCIOUS LOCKS ARE
HERE TO STAY!
>> WELL, I BET YOU CAN'T EVEN-
[LAUGHTER]
>> HONEY, ARE YOU OKAY?
ARE YOU OKAY?
>> IT'S THE HAIR.
IT HAS THAT EFFECT ON WOMEN.
>> ARE YOU PICKING UP ON OUR
TEENAGE DAUGHTER?
>> I GET IT.
>> I BET YOU CAN'T EVEN READ
MINDS!
>> YOU'RE RIGHT! BECAUSE I HAVE
A MUCH GREATER POWER.
I CAN INTERPRET PEOPLE'S MINDS
BY CAREFULLY OBSERVING THEIR
BODY LANGUAGE.
[CHUCKLES] AND I CAN TELL THAT
YOU, YOUNG LADY, ARE EXTREMELY
HAPPY ABOUT THE PROSPECT OF
ATTENDING MY SCHOOL.
>>KAY, THIS GUY ISN'T EVEN A
REAL MUTANT!
>> UH, YES I AM!
>>PROVE IT!
>>SEE? HEY, HEY, HEY, ONLY 49
PERCENT OF THE POPULATION CAN
DO THIS, SO TECHNICALLY THAT
MAKES ME A MUTANT!
[GASPS]
>> IT'S A MIRACLE.
>> THAT'S MESSED UP, BUB.
>>YOU LIED TO US, PROFESSOR Z,
AND YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT
DECEPTION.
[SNEEZES]
[SNEEZE]
>> OKAY, HOW ABOUT WE JUST LOOK
INTO SOME ONLINE MUTANT COURSES?
>> YEAH I HEAR JEAN GRAY ISRSES?
RUNNING THE UNIVERSITY OF
PHOENIX NOW.
[SNEEZES]
[SCREAMS]
>> SEE? ASIAN.
[SCREAMING]
>> THANKS FOR WATCHING THIS
VIDEO.
>> MAKE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE TO
OUR CHANNEL .
>> AND LIKE THIS VIDEO, TOO.
IF WE GET 30,000 LIKES WE'RE
GONNA MAKE A NEW MOVIE: Z MEN.
>>SECOND CLASS.
>>IT'S ABOUT THE HAITIAN
MISSILE CRISIS.
>>IT'S NOT AS BIG AS THE CUBAN
ONE, BUT IT WAS STILL IMPORTANT
AND DANGEROUS.
>>NICK CAGE IS IN IT!
>>SO.

X-Men Community College

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