Eric Stonestreet Knows Pigs Like Stephen Knows Tolkien

MY FIRST GUEST HAS WON MULTIPLE
EMMYS PLAYING CAM ON "MODERN FAMILY."
PLEASE WELCOME MY FRIEND, ERIC STONESTREET.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU!
>> Stephen: I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN OVER A YEAR.
IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO HAVE YOU ON HERE.
>> I'M SUPER TIRED.
>> Stephen: WHY ARE YOU SUPER TIRED?
>> I JUST WANTED TO START SHOW OFF THAT WAY.
>> Stephen: LOWERED EXPECTATIONS.
>> YEAH, SO REQUESTING I GIVE IT BE, "HE SEEMED REALLY NOT TIRED.
>> Stephen: WHAT A PRO.
>> WHAT A PRO?
>> Stephen: YOU BETTER NOT GET TIRED, MY MAN, BAUD "MODERN
FAMILY" JUST GOT PICKED UP-- >> TWO MORE YEARS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: WHAT DOES THAT MAKE NOW?
HOW MANY HAVE YOU DONE ALREADY?
>> THAT WILL MAKE IT 10 YEARS.
>> Stephen: THAT WILL MAKE IT 10 YEARS?
THINK YOU STILL HAVE IT IN THE TANK?
ARE YOU READY FOR 20?
WHAT WAS THAT SOUND.
SADO HAPPY?
>> I WAS THINKING I HOPE THE ACTOR WHO PLAYS CAM DOESN'T DIE
IN THE NEXT TWO YEARS OR SOMETHING.
>> Stephen: WOW, STAY HEALTHY.
HAVE YOU TRIED PUTTING HEALING STICKERS ON YOUR BODY?
TO BALANCE YOUR SKELETAL VIBRATIONS.
>> HADN'T CONSIDERED IT, BUT NOW I YOU.
>> Stephen: ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO.
"MODERN FAMILY" YOURSELF, YOU DO 23 A YEAR--
>> 22.
WE DID 24 AND NOW WE DO 22.
IT'S FUN, WE DON'T-- ( LAUGHTER )
WE-- WE -- >> Stephen: I'M JUST MOVING IN
SO I CAN HEAR YOU BETTER, MY DEAR.
>> OH, THANK YOU, SWEETS.
( LAUGHTER ) WE DON'T-- WE DON'T WORK EVERY
DAY ON "MODERN FAMILY" BECAUSE-- BUT WE SHOOT THE SHOW SO
MODULARLY-- THAT'S A HARD WORD TO SAY.
SAY IT.
>> Stephen: MOD LARLY.
>> NOW YOU'RE JUST SHOWING OFF.
MODULARY.
>> Stephen: THAT WAS A ROLLER COASTER RIDE.
>> UP AND DOWN.
ANYWAY, I'M JUST COMING OFF WORKING ON THIS OTHER SHOW I DO
FOR ABC CALLED "THE TOY BOX" WHERE I HAD TO WORK NINE
STRAIGHT DAYS, 12 HOURS A DAY WITH KIDS.
MY POINT SHOW DO PEOPLE WORK EVERY DAY?
( LAUGHTER ) AND I'M SAYING THAT TO YOU
WORKING AMERICANS AND PEOPLE-- LIKE, I'VE BEEN SO SPOILED ON
"MODERN FAMILY," THAT I WORK, LIKE, THREE DAYS A WEEK.
>> Stephen: WOW.
EVERYBODY HERE USED TO LIKE YOU.
>> HOW DO YOU DO IT?
YEAH.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: IT WENT LIKE THAT.
IT WENT LIKE THAT.
>> TOTALLY.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
THAT IS A BIG THING.
WHEN YOU WORK-- ACTORS-- >> LISTEN TO MY VOICE.
>> Stephen: ACTORS DON'T WORK ALL THE TIME, BUT WHEN YOU WORK
IT'S INTENSELY, BUT ONLY THREE DAYS A WEEK.
THAT'S FAIRLY COMMON FOR ACTING, BUT AS THE HOST OF A SHOW YOU
HAVE TO BE HERE-- >> YOU'RE HERE EVERY.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE TO DO IT TO GET THROUGH IT WELCOME TO IT.
WELCOME TO THE WORKING WEEK.
>> THANK YOU.
BEFORE "MODERN FAMILY" I DIDN'T HAVE A JOB THAT LASTED EIGHT
DAYS IN MY WHOLE 12-YEAR CAREER LEADING UP TO "MODERN FAMILY."
THAT'S A TRUE STORY.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> YEAH, YOU GET A JOB AND WORK FOR ONE DAY, YOU'RE OUT, GUEST
STAR, YOU'RE DONE, AND YOU MOVE ON.
BEFORE "MODERN FAMILY," MY LONGEST TERM OF EMPLOYMENT WAS
EIGHT DAYS AND THAT WAS A CAMPAIGN OF COMMERCIAL S.
>> Stephen: WERE YOU WORRIED?
>> YES, SUPER WORRIED.
ABOUT MAKIN MAKING IT?
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Stephen: OR EATING, THAT SORT OF THING.
>> NEVER BORDER EATING.
I ALWAYS FOUND A WAY TO EAT, SOMEHOW.
I DON'T KNOW.
ANYWAY...
>> Stephen: YOU'RE ONE OF THE ACTORS FROM A GREAT-- THERE'S A
GREAT CITY, KANSAS CITY THAT KEEPS TURNING OUT TALENTED
FRIENDLY PEOPLE, YOU ROB RUDD-- >> DAVE KECKENER IS FROM OUTSIDE
OF NEW JERSEY.
ALL OF THE GUYS, I THINK I'M THE YOUNGEST.
MAYBE JASON AND I ARE ABOUT THE SAME AGE.
>> Stephen: DO YOU GET HOME EVER?
>> WE DO GET HOME.
I JUST CAME HERE THIS MORNING, I LANDED THIS MORNING.
WE HAVE HAD OUR CHARITY EVENT.
CALLED THE BIG SLICK WHICH RAISES MONEY FOR CHILDREN'S
HOSPITAL THERE IN KANSAS CITY.
>> Stephen: ( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
THEY LEAK YOU AGAIN.
>> NOW YOU'RE BACK!
>> Stephen: THEY'RE BACK ON YOUR SIDE.
>> NOW YOU'RE BACK!
I'LL SAY SOMETHING TO ALIENATE THEM AGAIN.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A FEW MORE MINUTES LEFT OF THIS INTERVIEW.
>> FINGERS CROSSED!
>> Stephen: DO YOU PERFORM AT THIS THING?
>> WE DO DO, A SHOW.
WE RAISED $1.
THE 7 MILLION THIS YEAR.
THAT BRINGS THE TOTAL UP TO ALMOST SIX MILLION BUCKS.
>> Stephen: THAT'S FANTASTIC.
>> WE HAVE AN AUCTION WHERE WE AUCTION OFF ITEM DISPLZ SURE.
>> SET VISITS, SOMETHING FROM YOUR SHOW WAS AUCTIONED OFF.
>> Stephen: FROM OUR SHOW?
>> YEAH, JASON SEDAKIS SAID HE WAS PROVIDING TICKETS TO YOUR
SHOW, S.N.L., AND ANOTHER LATE-NIGHT TALK SHOW THEY WILL
NOT MENTION.
HE SAID -- >> Stephen: WHAT WE GAVE HIM
TICKETS.
THAT DOES NOT CHECK OUT.
>> HE SAID THAT.
>> Stephen: I WOULD ECONOMIC ON THAT.
THAT USUALLY GOES THROUGH ME.
>> AND JUST DON'T SEE GIVING JASON SEDAIKIS ANYTHING.
OLIVIA WILDE, NOW.
OLIVIA WILDE.
>> MAYBE SHE WAS THE ONE WHO MADE THE CALL.
HE DIDN'T DSAY IN FULL TRANSPARENCY THAT HE DIDN'T FOR
SURE HAVE THE TICKET S.
>> Stephen: DID HE REALLY?
>> HE DID.
>> Stephen: SORRY, JASON.
I THIET TELL YOU THIS WAY.
>> PEOPLE WHO SPENT $24,000 TO COME HERE.
>> Stephen: $24,000.
>> TO COME HERE, "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" AND THE OTHER SHOW.
>> Stephen: DID YOU GIVE ANY "MODERN FAMILY" TICKETS, PEOPLE
TO SEE THE SET OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?
>> YEAH, I GAVE A "MODERN FAMILY" TICKETS, AND BROUGHT
$34,000.
>> Stephen: WHAT?
24, 34?
>> YEAH, WE-- 24 FOR YOU, 34 FOR US.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHAT Y?
IT'S BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN COME HERE ALMOST EVERY DAY OF THE
YEAR.
YOU GUYS NEVER WORK.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪ IT'S SO RARE.
>> FULL CIRCLE!
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH.
HOW DID YOU-- WERE YOU THERE?
THAT MUST BE THRILLING?
YOUR SHOW GETS $32,000.
>> 34!
( LAUGHTER ) IN THE AUCTION-- IN THE
AUCTION-- IN THE AUCTION, I JUMP IN AND SAY, YOU KNOW, THINGS
LIKE, " SWEETEN THE DEAL."
SO THE GUY THAT WAS BIDDING ON IT IN THE BACK, I WAS LIKE,
"SIR, YOU BUY THIS, I WILL MAKE OUT WITH YOU."
AND HE GOES... AND I GO, "OKAY, I'LL HAVE COCKTAILS WITH YOU."
AND THEN IT GOT $34,000.
>> Stephen: GROWING UP IN KANSAS CITY, I UNDERSTAND YOU
ACTUALLY GREW UP-- YOUR FAMILY HAD A FARM.
>> YEAH, PIGS AND COWS.
>> Stephen: PIGS AND COWS, OKAY.
I HEARD PIGS CAN BE DANGEROUS.
ARE PIGS-- >> PIGS ARE THE FASTEST DOMESTIC
ANIMAL TO GO FER GLEL WHAT IS THAT?
EXPLAIN THAT TO ME?
>> LEANING MOOENG IF YOU LET A PIG GO, THEY'LL EAT YOU QUICKER
THAN, SAY AIR, CHICKEN WOULD TRY.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU'VE EDUCATED ME A LITTLE BIT ON PIG
INFORMATION.
WE HEARD ABOUT THIS BEFORE THE SHOW.
I'M GOING TO TEST TO SEE JUST HOW SWINE-WISE ARE YOU.
>> OH, BOY.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A QUIZ.
CAN I ASK YOU A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS ON PIG REARING.
WAS IT PEPPERIDGE FARM?
WHAT WAS-- >> YES.
>> Stephen: LET'S FIEND OUT.
WHAT'S THE AVERAGE GESTATION PERIOD FOR A PIG?
>> OH, TO HAVE A BABY-- TO BE BREAD BREADAND THEN TO HAVE A
BABY.
THREE MONTHS, THREE WEEKS, AND THREE DAYS.
>> Stephen: THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.
THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.
( APPLAUSE ) THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
THAT'S VERY 4H OF YOU.
WERE YOU 4H.
>> I WAS, PRESIDENT OF MY CLUB.
BEAVERS.
>> Stephen: HOW LONG SHOULD IT TAKE A HEALTHY PIEING I DON'T
KNOW IF-- HOW LONG SHOULD IT TAKE A HEALTHY PIG TO GAIN 60
POUNDS.
>> 60 DAYS BECAUSE THEY CAN GAIN A POUND A DAY.
MY PIG KNOWLEDGE IS LIKE YOUR HARRY POTTER KNOWLEDGE.
BUT I THINK YOU'RE MORE SUPERIOR-- NOT HARRY POTTER, I
MEAN "LORD OF THE RINGS."
OOPS.
I GOT MY WIZARD STUFF WRONG!
>> Stephen: IT'S NOT WIZARD STUFF!
>> OKAY!
AND HE POUT -- >> Stephen: I ALSO
UNDERSTAND-- AND THIS IS VERY NICE OF YOU-- YOU ARE ALSO
INTERESTED IN HELPING IN CANCER RESEARCH.
HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT?
>> ALWAYS HAVE.
ONCE I BECAME-- GOT ON TV, I KNEW PEOPLE WOULD ASK ME TO DO
THINGS, AND CANCER RESEARCH WAS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME.
MY MOM IS A TWO-TIME SURVIVOR, LOST BOTH GRANDPAS TO CANCER SO
I REALLY WANTED TO JUMP IN THERE, AND WITH BRISTOL-MYERS
SQUIBB AND THE READY TO RISE CAMPAIGN, THIS IS THE THIRD YEAR
I'VE DONE IT AND IT'S REALLY COOL, AND IT'S TO BRING
AWARENESS TO IMMUNO-ONCOLOGY.
IT'S FASCINATING STUFF.
IT USES YOUR OWN IMMUNE SYSTEM TO FIGHT CANCER.
AND WHAT THEY'RE TRYING TO DO IS MAKE CANCER MORE LIVABLE, MORE
MANAGEABLE.
THE READY, RAISE, RISE CAMPAIGN IS A CAMPAIGN FOR PEOPLE TO BE
ABLE TO, YOU KNOW, CELEBRATE SOMEONE THEY'VE LOST TO CANCER
OR SOMEONE IN THE BATTLE OR A NURSE THAT'S HELPED OUT IN
CANCER AND YOU CAN DO THAT BY JUST GOING TO THE WEBSITE
READYRAISE, RISE.COM AND RAISE A FLAG.
AND $150,000 TO CANCER ADVOCACY GROUPS SUPPORTING THE CAMPAIGN.
>> Stephen: IF YOU EVER NEED ANY TICKETS FOR THIS SHOW FOR
THAT CAMPAIGN, LET ME KNOW.
>> PROMISE?
>> Stephen: PROMISE.
ERIC STONESTREET, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

Eric Stonestreet Knows Pigs Like Stephen Knows Tolkien

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