Even in London, James Can't Escape Donald Trump

>> JAMES: GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMAN.
WELCOME TO A VERY SPECIAL "LATE LATE SHOW" FROM THE HEART OF
LONDON.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THIS IS AMAZING FOR US.
RIGHT NOW, WE ARE AIRING ON CBS AS WE ALWAYS DO, AND THIS IS
EXCITING, WE ARE ALSO AIRING IN PRIMETIME ON SKY 1 IN THE UK.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT'S AN AMAZING THING FOR US!
WE ARE HERE IN THE BEAUTIFUL HISTORIC CENTRAL HALL
WESTMINSTER.
THERE IS SO MUCH AMAZING HISTORY IN THIS BUILDING.
GANDHI SPOKE HERE, MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. GAVE A SPEECH HERE,
AND WINSTON CHURCHILL SPOKE IN THIS VERY HALL.
AND DESPITE ALL THAT, THEY STILL ALLOWED ME TO DO A SHOW HERE.
( LAUGHTER ) THIS IS ACTUALLY A METHODIST
CHURCH, SO THE SHOW'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT TONIGHT.
YOU PROBABLY WON'T SPOT THE DIFFERENCES THAT MUCH.
BUT IF EVERYONE COULD PLEASE TURN TO PAGE 103 IN YOUR HYMN
BOOKS, WE'RE GOING TO KICK OFF WITH "BREAD OF HEAVEN."
IT'S NICE TO BE HERE IN ENGLAND.
AFTER TWO-AND-A-HALF YEARS OF PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGNING IN
AMERICA, I WAS, LIKE, "WHERE CAN I GO FOR ANOTHER BITTER,
SOUL-SUCKING ELECTION?" ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) I KNOW -- LONDON.
YES, THERE'S A BIG ELECTION COMING UP THIS WEEK IN THE U.K.
ACTUALLY, THIS VENUE IS GOING TO BE A POLLING STATION.
RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WAS GOING TO BE
A SHOW HERE TONIGHT.
YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO BEAT THE LINES.
( LAUGHTER ) IF YOU'RE A FIRST-TIME VOTER YOU
MUST BE PRETTY IMPRESSED WITH THIS EXPERIENCE.
"WHY DON'T PEOPLE VOTE MORE?
I SHOWED UP TO VOTE, THERE WAS A BAND PLAYING, NICOLE KIDMAN WAS
THERE."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SERIOUS.
NOW, WE TALK ABOUT DONALD TRUMP ALMOST EVERY NIGHT ON THIS SHOW,
BUT I THOUGHT WHEN I CAME HERE TO LONDON I'D FINALLY GET AWAY
FROM HIM FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
AND THEN I GET HERE, AND WHO DOES HE START A FIGHT WITH?
THE MAYOR OF LONDON!
WHILE I'M IN THE CITY!
HE'S FOLLOWING ME!
I'M NOT JOKING.
HE'S TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH ME, YOU GUYS.
IT'S BECAUSE I'M BLOND WITH BIG BOOBS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME.
BUT BACK TO THE STORY.
IN A TELEVISED STATEMENT, MAYOR SADIQ KAHN SAID THAT IF
LONDONERS SEE MORE POLICE ON THE STREETS, "THERE'S NO REASON TO
BE ALARMED."
SO TRUMP GOT ON TWITTER, TOOK THE "NO REASON TO BE ALARMED"
PART, AND IGNORED THE REST, IMPLYING MAYOR KAHN IS TAKING
SECURITY TOO LIGHTLY.
SEE, THIS IS WHAT TRUMP DOES-- WELL BESIDES PLAY GOLF-- HE
TAKES A SMALL PART OF WHAT SOMEONE SAYS AND IGNORES THE
REST.
WELL, TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME, MR. PRESIDENT.
HERE'S ONE OF YOUR LONG RAMBLING TWEETS ABOUT "FAKE NEWS."
BUT WHAT IF I TOOK JUST ONE SMALL PART AND IGNORED THE REST,
AND GAVE EVERYONE THE TWEET THEY WISH YOU'D WRITE.
AND WE DID THAT RIGHT HERE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) "SORRY FOLKS."
WELL, APOLOGY ACCEPTED, DONALD!
I'M JUST HAVING FUN, PLEASE DON'T BAN ME FROM RE-ENTERING
AMERICA.

Even in London, James Can't Escape Donald Trump

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