I feel like I sorta got one, but not a full one,
so today is all about getting a full hood pass.
So I bring my boy BDot from North Carolina,
and then I got my boy Martini, pretty boy model from Jersey.
We hitted up one of my most hoodest friends, Stevie J.
- Hey why you (beep)s all huddled up
on the couch, touching thighs and (beep)?
- I mean, I just didn't know what the seat arrangement was,
I didn't know if another homie was in the bathroom,
or gonna come out or anything like that.
But listen, listen, break down to them what a hood pass is.
- A hood pass is like this:
(beep) I'm vouching for you (beep), you feel me?
Anything you do is a representation of me.
Don't do no weird (beep), don't do no buster (beep),
don't do no hook (beep), and you'll be straight.
- How much is an eighth around here?
- Man--
- You'll get your ass whooped for that.
- That's real specific.
- What's your name again?
- B Dot.
- B Dot, and you got chained that fast.
Bro, the B Dot, (beep) that (beep) can get you shot, bro.
(all talking over each other)
- What's your governed name?
- Brian, Brian is my--
(talking over each other)
- What about Martini, though, that's cool, right?
That name Martini bro?
- So you like getting drunk and shit?
- I smoke, I'm not a drinker.
- Why the (beep) you're named Martini?
- So your new name is Zig Zag.
- Zig Zag.
- Take that weak ass bandana off your mother (beep) hat.
- He did say something.
- What's your name, what is your name?
- Zig Zag.
- No, no, no, what is your name?
- Oh, my name is Shawn.
- Zig Zag, you gotta say Zig Zag correctly.
You gotta be able to answer it under pressure and duress.
- My name is Baseball, anytime you say this
it's like a code word, everything just kinda settles
like "oh, he know the hummy, he cool."
But if you're in the area, and you say the nickname,
and that nickname doesn't register,
it can agitate some things.
- What if somebody else has your nickname?
- Nobody else has my nickname.
- In all of the hoods of Los Angeles?
- Because that's my nickname.
- So in a way, the nickname is the pass.
Guys, I feel like we've done put in our time,
we've heard y'all out, we've digested it mentally,
we deserve our hood passes, y'all agree?
That's a yes, perfect.
So now we've got Stevie J and the hood pass.
We're doing everything I dreamed of as an adjacent,
but now I'm having my hood moment.
(rap music)
Mother (beep)ing donut shop, Slauson Donuts.
(rap music)
Eating here, man, check it out, what's up, my man?
- Can I get a glazed donut?
- Nah, you gotta be like, what that glazed hitting for?
- That was good, James.
- What that glazed donut hitting for, homie?
- Zig Zag, bring your ass over here.
- Let me get a twist, a twist.
- And hey, guess what, guess what, guess what,
guess what, guess what, guess what.
- Don't do that, don't do that.
- Okay.
- Let me get two swisters, a black
and mild, you got lighters?
- You want some noodles?
- Hey, blow it for me.
Never blow another man's noodles, man, what the (beep)?
You're trying to blow my noodles,
y'all see him tring to blow my noodles?
(rap music)
- Don't touch my dice, don't touch my dice.
- That's a violation that could get you shot, bro.
- That should get me shot.
- That's the eighth time you'd have got shot today.
(rap music)
- What does this mean?
- It don't matter, just do it.
- Do I get a do-over?
(rap music)
- We pull up to the Liquor Bank.
- Y'all hood now, we're here.
If you look around, everybody here hood, including y'all.
He good, what's up, bro?
- The hood showed up, and checked us.
Some random dudes just start walking up to us.
He literally walked into the scene,
and was like "Who are y'all?"
and that's when I knew, sketcho.
(talking over each other)
I had to literally just become
a black male talking to a black male.
"Hey bro, (beep) Donald Trump, I know, I know."
You know, we just had to make a common ground
happening real fast because I knew
that if I didn't say the right things,
I might have to catch this fade.
For those who don't know, that means
get knocked the (beep) out.
He gave us a hood pass earlier,
and a part of his hood pass tour was coming here,
which we was doing comedically.
That brother looked mad, but then
Stevie J had all the answers,
all the homeboys to reference, all the streets.
- I'm Baseball from (street name).
- Okay, for sure.
- If you're down, can you just give my show a hood pass?
- Hey, it's your boy Mr. YBMF, also known as King.
We don't crush on a stocker at the world famous Liquor Bank.
Y'all already know what it is, hood pass.
- I'm very much adjacent.
For a couple of hours, I thought I was hood.
But then all that happened, and I was like
"you know what, James, you're adjacent as a mother (beep)."
(audience applause)