Kissing in the Hardware Store

- I have a confession for all of you.
I actually take great pleasure
in replacing toilet paper.
(dramatic orchestra music)
- Good morning, everyone!
Today, Jessica and I are getting some stuff
for the new house.
So, we have Duncan but we don't have Parker.
He's with our babysitter Grace.
And the older two kids are at basketball camp.
Is today the last day
of basketabll? - The last day.
- That is tragic. - I know.
- They're gonna be so sad. - I'm sad.
- They loved going to basketball camp.
- I'm really excited that they did it
because they don't have a lot of basketball background,
and we have a little basketball court now in our house,
so they're gonna be extra skilled
and get to play all summer long.
- I'm excited about playing with them.
I used to play basketball all the time,
and I don't anymore and I'm going to start again
and I'm excited about it.
Right now, we are at Home Depot.
Right now, we're gonna look at patio furniture
for the new house because we don't have any.
- And one of our dreams is to have an outdoor fire pit
of our very own and be able to sit around the fire pit,
and we're very excited about that.
- We currently have a fire pit.
- It was the one that was left over with the house,
which we can totally use, but--
- But we don't have anything to sit around it with.
I realized that the other day when we made the fire pit,
that we were sitting on boxes and folding chairs.
- You guys like out fancy patio furniture?
It's folding chairs and dresser drawers.
- How was the fire pit, was it good?
Is that what we're sticking with?
- It's a fine fire pit, we can stick with it for a while
or we can get a new one, but we're gonna look at
all the options today and also toilet paper roll holders.
- I'm gonna be redoing our closet today.
My goal is to get a bunch of those skinny velvet hangers
because my shirts don't fall off of them,
and they're amazing.
I think they can actually make more space in your closet,
so I was gonna get rid of all my other ones
because I've been trying out a few of the velvet ones,
and they've been really good,
so now I'm gonna get rid of all the other ones
and just have velvet hangers
and see how that feels space-wise for us.
And I get to tell you if it works.
My goal with this house and this move
is that, and I think this is kinda what you were saying,
but my goal is to go into it with a clean slate
of something that, of a house that works efficiently for us
and is what we like aesthetically,
and we walk in and we're happy.
Every other time, we've either moved so quickly
and kinda been so crazy broke
that we haven't been able to do anything else
and any furniture we've gotten,
we've just been grateful to get as hand-me-downs.
Like, our couches have been, where my mom's couch
that she had for years that were like 20-year-old couches.
Which is fine, it's just, this is a new phase in our life
where we have four kids, we're definitely adults,
and we need to be buying our own furniture
and making our own-- - It feels more permanent, too
like this is-- - It's permanent, yeah.
- We're not renting anymore, so it's like,
"Oh, we can make changes to this house,
"we're gonna be here for a long time,"
so anyway, we gotta do it.
Let's go do it.
- [Jessica] Baby's first trip to the hardware store.
- [Christopher] This is where you go
from being a baby to man.
- Look buddy. - Yeah, look at that.
(laughs) Look at that hardware store face.
- [Jessica] You're gonna learn how to build things today.
Outdoor furniture.
- [Christopher] Right now I'm betting ...
- What do you guys like?
Ooh, I like this a lot.
Is this an outdoor furniture Christopher?
Oh, it's weird, it's like tinny sounding.
I like this color chair, and I like the colors.
We're not gonna buy anything today,
today's our just looking trip.
So if you guys see something you really like, tell me,
and if you see something that you've gotten
that doesn't work or breaks right away,
please tell me that too.
What do you think of these new fire pits?
The ones that are glass and don't even look very real,
and you're not throwing logs and old trash in them,
what's up with those?
Are they actually better?
Or are they just kinda prettier?
Or is old school the best?
Because I've always only done old school,
and we like the feel of real flames,
but I don't love the extreme smoke that gets on us.
Tell me your opinions and advice there.
'Cause we've got this thing, I don't even know,
what is that, what does that even do?
Is it safer for the kids to not have a real fire?
- I don't know, they should learn how to have a real fire.
- They should learn.
But we don't want them to learn by falling in a fire pit.
That's not a good way to learn though, right?
- There are better ways to--
- I don't know, we'll see.
Tell me what you like.
(upbeat instrumental music)
I think I kinda like this too.
What that feels like.
So I tried to show you that stuff very well,
slowly and stuff, but if you see something
that you really like for us, please screenshot it
and show it to me on Twitter.
My Twitter is @BallingerMom, and Christopher's
is @BallingerFamily.
So send us a screenshot if you see something
you think would be great.
Thank you!
Here are my desires for an outside furniture set.
I figured I should say that.
What my priorities are.
I really want to send the kids out
to eat a lot of meals outside.
Just be like, "Get out of here! Don't make a mess
"in the house, kids. Enjoy the nature!"
We're in California, so we can do that mostly year-round.
We have some mosquitoes, but we don't have major bugs
like a lot of places do.
So bugs aren't a real issue,
we don't need bug screens as much.
And I also like, and maybe this is a separate piece,
but I'd also like, fire pit, and seating around a fire pit.
So I think maybe we need a table and chairs
and then also fire pit seating.
I think this one's pretty, I really like these
light chairs and this color.
That there's color that pops.
This is Lemon Grove, does this have a fire pit setup?
- [Christopher] They got a couch thing, like a sofa.
- [Jessica] Yeah, see, I like that.
So fire pit wise, I like the idea
of at least one part where two people
at least can sit next to each other.
And then also little multiple seating.
You don't always wanna sit right next
to everybody you're at a fire pit with.
But I do wanna sit close to this fella!
(kissing at Christopher)
For fire pit smooches!
- So just so you know if you're at our house
at a fire pit party, and Jessica's not sitting
next to you, it's 'cause she doesn't want to.
- I don't want to, I wanna fire pit smooch this guy.
I like the white one a lot, I think the white one's
actually my favorite.
- [Christopher] Oh, I like this one better.
Oh, okay, alright, that's fine--
- Tension. - No I'm willing
to do whatever you want - Do you not wanna
- I like this-- - sit next to me anymore?
- No, I like this set, we can do it.
I like the white one better, it's lighter to me,
but this works, I'm willing to do this.
I'm just taking a peek at this,
this is the set that I like.
So this is the one Christopher doesn't like as much
that I like slightly better, but I figured I'd look
at the fire pit section of this one too.
- [Christopher] This one looks cheap-y.
- [Jessica] Well see that back here doesn't look
like a smooching couch.
That looks kind of painful.
This part's pretty.
Probably won't go with this one.
- You've decided to not go with
the barbed wire collection.
The razor wire.
- This is not a barbed wire collection,
it's very pretty, it's very cute.
- But don't put your fingers in it,
otherwise we'd have to sever them
to get them out.
- Christopher, you're kind of a wuss
if you can't handle outdoor furniture.
Gotcha! Bam!
Gotcha good.
Christopher's telling me that we're
in the fire pit section,
but I don't think we are.
I've seen fire pits, and they don't look like this.
This one, yes, maybe, but all this stuff, what?
This isn't a fire pit section.
- It covers your smoke problem.
You're like, "Oh, I don't like smoke."
Over your head, don't worry about it anymore.
- [Jessica] Is that really what this is?
- [Christopher] Yes.
- [Jessica] Why do they call them chimneas?
- [Christopher] 'Cause it's a chim-chim-charoo.
- [Jessica] Chim, chimneas?
- [Christopher] Have you never seen Mary Poppins?
- Chiminea.
I don't think we're in the fire pit section.
I feel like he's just lost and can't find
the fire pit section,
and he's not willing to admit that we're lost.
In the Home Depot.
- Maybe it's in the garden area.
- Well, there's a guy right there.
Maybe we should just ask.
What do you think of that, Christopher,
should we ask?
Should we ask?
With all the people here working to help us?
- That's not the way you do things
at the hardware store, Jess.
- This is probably actually the only store
I've ever been to with a surplus of employees
willing to just help us find our way,
and nobody here is willing to ask them.
- [Christopher] Why are you pitting this on me?
- So interesting.
- [Christopher] You just said nobody.
- No I think that you said that
that's not the way they do it in a hardware store,
and I think that that's kind of funny
because this is the only store
with a ton of, here's an employee right here.
Just standing here.
And all the guys are avoiding asking.
Very funny.
Okay, I'm gonna ask.
I asked the employee, and he guessed.
(laughs)
- It was the exact same thing,
it was actually the exact same sentence:
"Mmm, maybe it's in the garden area."
- He said, "Maybe. You should go maybe look there,
"but I don't know for sure."
- That's not how you do it here
in the hardware store.
- I think it's supposed to feel like
you're an Indiana Jones adventurer
when you're in here.
You're supposed to feel kind of a little lost.
A little scary.
Little adventure - Now we need
to find a stick to put our paper towel,
- Toilet paper! or toilet paper on.
- Now we're looking for something for toilet paper,
and it feels like an adventure!
It doesn't feel silly.
Look at all these toilet paper holders.
- Look at this modern technology over here.
- Oh, how high-tech toilet paper holders get.
- Oh!
I feel like that would become a pain.
What if you were like, "Oh I really need to pee."
So then it slips off and then it's stuck
on here, and you're like, "Oh no! Oh no!"
You gotta think these things through.
- I have a confession for all of you.
I actually take great pleasure
in replacing toilet paper.
The pushing toilet paper stick,
I'm always like, "I'm so smart that I know this works."
Which I'm not!
Everybody should basically know how those work.
And I kinda like it.
I like the spring-loaded action that it has.
I always feel so cool when I do it.
Even though this may ultimately be kinda smarter.
I'm a spring-loaded action kind of girl.
Go for it Christopher.
This is...
aww
- Sad.
- [Jessica] Oh, no slam!
No slam.
How's that feel?
- It's still goin'.
- [Jessica] So quiet.
This one's having trouble.
- [Christopher] No, it's doing its job.
- This one's very good at its job.
I'm gonna try out the future of toilet paper products,
and I'm gonna go for the lift-up one
instead of the spring-loaded,
'cause I wanna try a new thing.
I wanna be adventurous.
- I have picked this out, and even as I
spring-loaded picked it out, it fell
on the ground, and I was like, "Oh yeah."
I'm probably gonna drop it in the trash can a lot.
- This is the lady that just said,
"I take much pleasure - I do.
"in using this type of--"
- You know what I'll do with
paper towel holder, I'll get that pleasure there.
I wanna try it.
These things, what are they, like 8.99?
Let's try it for the future. - No, these one's are
the future ones are 25 dollars.
- The future one's so expensive!
- This one is eight dollars.
This is what you're used to,
is the eight dollar version.
This is the 25 dollar version.
- Alright, get whatever you want,
but I am gonna drop that in the trash can
is what I realized.
- [Christopher] I don't care.
- Okay, we're not trying the future.
Stuck in the past!
Wait, wait.
I just realized the one that's stuck in the past
is calling itself Futura.
They're trying so hard guys,
they're not the future, they're like
my whole childhood.
We're goin' for it!
Okay, it looks like the employee guessed right
and there are some fire pits out here.
(relaxed instrumental music)
What is that thing?
I don't even know.
These guys.
This is that kinda like, little bit high-tech thing.
Ooh, that, yup.
Okay, so two things:
Number one we still don't know what
that chiminea thing was.
And number two:
Christopher's kinda right we do have a fire pit
that looks just like those.
So I think we might be set with a fire pit.
We just need the furniture that goes
around the fire pit.
That's what this has really taught me today.
So, I get to pick furniture, yeah!
Tell me what you guys like from that furniture stuff.
I think Christopher and I have an opinion,
but we'll take your advice as well.
We measured this table, we measured it
with all the chairs and stuff around it.
So we'll see if that fits.
Christopher's saying right now
he doesn't think it'll even fit
in our backyard.
So that may not be a possibility,
but that is what we're leaning towards at the moment.
I don't really love how like, this.
When I see that, I always think
kids getting food in that.
That kind of grosses me out.
But, I do like the table a lot.
(taps on tabletop)
And I like the color of this.
All I can think of is food and stuff
falling through it.
Or if the kids wanna do crafts,
they couldn't do beads.
If you can't do beads on a table,
what's even the point, am I right?
Duncan, how was your first hardware store visit?
Did you love it?
Did you have fun at the hardware store?
(monotone voice) Yes.
I know that totally just fooled you,
and you thought he said, "Yes, I love
"the hardware store."
But truthfully, he just fell asleep.
I don't know if it was that thrilling for him.
What do you think Christopher?
- It's kinda like how I react.
- You love the hardware store, are you kidding me?
- I like the hardware store a lot.
- He's like a giddy little seven-year-old,
just frolicking.
- That's where Jake gets his seven-year-oldness.
(laughs)
- We picked up Bailey and Jacob from basketball camp,
and now, she's playing with guess who?
It's Layla.
Who's Layla, Bailey, tell everybody.
- She's my cousin.
- [Christopher] Your cousin, and you guys are here visiting,
and are you having fun?
- Yeah.
- [Christopher] Do you like our new house?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- [Christopher] There's a lot of--
- Really fun.
- There's a lot of boxes to play with.
(laughs)
- [Christopher] How was basketball camp today?
- Awesome!
- [Christopher] Awesome, look who else is here.
It's Brooklyn.
Hi, Brooklyn.
Are you playing with BB-8?
- Mm-hm.
- [Christopher] Uh-oh.
Brooklyn, do you pick out your clothes in the morning,
or does your mom?
You're always so stylin'.
Look at this, I love the leggings and the boots.
- These are from Bailey.
- [Christopher] They're from Bailey?
- Uh-huh.
- [Christopher] Maybe that's part of why
I like them so much.
- Look at this.
- You're gonna switch off for awhile?
- Okay, it's time for my major house project.
My closet!
Trying to begin our lives in this new home on a good foot.
I'm gonna go through the closet, switch out
all these thicker, white ones, and anything else.
I'll switch those out for these thinner, velvet style.
I have a lot of dresses and shirts
that slide off of any other hanger.
But the velvet ones they stick to.
And some dresses and shirts come with
big plastic loops and you're supposed to loop them
through your hangers, and those are my biggest enemy.
I don't like them at all.
I always rip 'em right off my clothes
when I get 'em because
I end up wearing like a pretty, nice dress
and I have a plastic loop hanging out of it.
Because I don't know how to wear clothes.
It always comes out of my clothes at some point
in the evening.
And I look a mess and I'm like,
"Why do I have this?"
What is the deal?
So I use the velvet hangers for those dresses and shirts.
And I'm covered in puke always, just for the record.
Covered in puke.
Right now we kinda have some things.
Christopher put his shoes on that rack
which is nice.
That's where we put our bathing suits.
As a person in a big family,
putting all our bathing suits in one basket,
like this,
has been really, really, really great for us.
So I highly recommend you do that
if you're like, running a big family with a lot of people.
We almost always go swimming or to aquatic places
together, or several of us at once.
It's never one person needs a swimsuit.
It just works out really well,
and especially for us,
our swimsuit usage often peaks
when we are traveling.
So when we're packing to travel,
I can just take out that whole bin
and pull out everybody's swimsuits.
Very, very nice.
So all our swimming stuff is in there, including goggles.
So for a lot of this closet setup is really
working well for us.
However, I want to make it feel less crammed.
One goal I have is to set aside all the things
that I have that aren't for nursing.
Like the dresses and shirts that I just
can't access my lady bits.
And just put them in a bin until I'm done nursing
because there's no reason for me to have them out
and have to sort through them and have to be like,
"Oh, I wish I could wear that dress,
"but I'm feeding my baby."
I want to be like,
(singing) "I'm feeding my baby,
"I love these nursing shirts!"
So, that's my goal.
I'll get there.
So, this is the before of our closet.
(singing)
This is probably the most anti-climactic closet reveal.
The before and after.
Because it kind of looks the same, I think.
But it's organized, it's to my liking, I know how it is,
and I like these hangers a lot better.
I don't know that they made more room necessarily.
It feels a little, it feels better.
When I do this, it doesn't feel like
everything's jammed in there.
So I think it's better, it just doesn't look miraculous.
And basically I put all my nursing things in one spot.
These are things I know that I can nurse in.
And then I have a bunch of other things
that are various stages of female life.
It's so funny being a lady.
Because you have not pregnant, you're pregnant,
you have nursing, you have I gained some weight.
Bailey says you have fancy.
- You have night.
(laughs)
- You have night.
So you have a lot of different things
you have to be dressed for.
This is Christopher's side.
He's got a lot of suits.
He's got things for warmth.
He has three of the same shirt.
(Bailey laughs)
Can you see that?
Three shirts the same.
I get it, I get it.
He doesn't have enough clothing for warm weather.
Christoper's short-sleeved shirts.
This is Hawaii.
He has one shirt for Hawaii,
and three shirts that are short-sleeved.
And then everything else is long sleeve and sweaters.
And jackets.
California stuff.
Well he does have a drawer of casual shirts,
so that's what he wears mostly, I think
during warm weather.
But I thought that was kinda funny.
'Cause I know he likes his nice button-ups.
- I have one in the shower.
I have one in the wash.
- [Jessica] You have one in the shower?
- I have a shirt in the wash.
That's short-sleeved button-up.
Just so you know.
- So he said.
- There's one in there.
(strumming guitar) Hi.
Let's talk about what we learned today.
We learned what Duncan's hardware store face looks like.
We learned that Jessica and I are trading in
the future for Futura.
And finally, we learned that...
I've got a shirt in the shower.
Thanks for watching, everybody.
We'll see ya next time.
(Parker laughs)
(upbeat accordion music)

Kissing in the Hardware Store

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