Surprise! Trump Doesn't Have Comey Tapes

ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU, MADAME.
WE'VE GOT A LOT TO TALK ABOUT TOBT.
FIRST OFF, DONALD TRUMP'S BEEN TWEETING, SURPRISE.
ABOUT FBI DIRECTOR, AGAIN, YOU REMEMBER A MONTH AGO DONALD
TRUMP TWEETED THIS.
JAMES COMEY BETTER HOPE THERE ARE NO TAPES OF OUR
CONVERSATIONS BEFORE HE STARTS LEAKING TO THE PRESS.
WELL, GUESS WHAT, TODAY DONALD TRUMP TWEETED, I HAVE NO IDEA
WHETHER THERE ARE TAPES OR RECORDINGS OF MY CONVERSATIONS
WITH JAMES COMEY.
BUT I DID NOT MAKE AND DO NOT HAVE ANY SUCH RECORDINGS.
HE'S NOW FACT CHECKING HIMSELF.
(LAUGHTER) OF COURSE TRUMP DOESN'T HAVE A
TAPE.
SECRETLY TAPING SOMEONE WOULD REQUIRE THINKING AHEAD.
AND SHOW ME ONE TIME THAT THIS PRESIDENT HAS DONE THAT.
BUT YEAH, IT TURNS OUT TRUMP DISND RECORD COMEY, THERE ARE NO
TAPES, THE PAIN REASON FOR THIS IS PEOPLE HAVEN'T USED TAPES
SINCE 1992.
THAT'S-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
I DON'T KNOW WHAT A TAPE LOOKS LIKE ANY MORE.
THAT'S NOT THE ONLY TRUMP NEWS.
AT A RALLY IN IOWA LAST NIGHT, BY THE WAY TRUMP HELD A RALLY IN
IOWA LAST NIGHT.
(LAUGHTER) WE DON'T KNOW WHY.
HE ENJOYS RALLIES.
THAT'S BASICALLY IT.
ANYWAY TRUMP UNVEILED A NEW PLAN FOR HIS LONG PROPOSED BORDER
WALL.
TAKE A LOOK.
>> WE'RE THINKING ABOUT BEING THE WALL AS A SOLAR WALL.
SO IT CREATES-- ENERGY.
AND PAYS FOR ITSELF.
PRETTY GOOD IMAGINATION, RIGHT?
MY IDEA.
(LAUGHTER) JZ A SOLAR WALL.
NOW HE'S LITERALLY BLOWING SUNSHINE UP HER OUR ASS.
PRET'S GOOD, HUH, MY IDEA.
I'M PRETTY CERTAIN THAT DONALD TRUMP DOESN'T KNOW HOW SOLAR
POWER WORKS, OR WALLS.
OR PAYING FOR THINGS.
OR WORDS.
AT THE SAME RALLY JUMP DEFENDED APPOINTING ONLY VERY WEALTHY
PEOPLE TO CABINET POSITIONS IN HIS ADD P BY SAYING, WELL, I
SHOULD PROBABLY JUST SHOW YOU WHAT HE SAID.
>> AND I LOVE ALL PEOPLE, RICH OR POOR.
BUT IN THOSE PARTICULAR POSITIONS, I JUST DON'T WANT A
POOR PERSON, DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
>> NO, IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
NOTHING YOU SAY MAKES SENSE. I MEAN TRUMP THINKS ONLY RICH
SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF THE ECONOMY.
PUTTING RICH PEOPLE IN CHARGE OF THE ECONOMY IS LIKE PUTTING THE
COOKIE MONSTER IN CHARGE OF OREOS.
IF YOU THINK ALL OF THIS IS CRAZY, WHICH I THINK WE DO,
TRUMP BEHAVIOR, THIS IS GOING TO FREAK YOU OUT, OKAY.
HE'S ALREADY STARTED RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT AGAIN, RIGHT.
TRUMP, DONALD TRUMP WILL HOLD HIS FIRST RE-ELECTION FUNDRAISER
LATER THIS MONTH.
I KNOW.
THE 2020 ELECTION HAS ALREADY STARTED.
I'M STARTING TO GET THE FEELING THAT THE UNITED STATES ISN'T SO
MUCH A COUNTRY AS IT IS AN ENDLESS SERIES OF ELECTIONS,
OCCASIONALLY INTERRUPTED BY FOOTBALL AND SUPERHERO MOVIES.
IS THAT RIGHT?
LIKE-- IT'S TOO SOON, ISN'T IT?
MEANWHILE, SENATE REPUBLICANS RELEASED THEIR VERSION OF THEIR
NEW HEALTH-CARE BILL DESIGNED TO REPLACE OBAMACARE TODAY.
AND IT FEATURES MASSIVE CUTS TO MEDICAID AND DEFUNDS PLANNED
PARENTHOOD.
BUT DON'T WORRY, THIS ISN'T THE FINAL VERSION OF THE HEALTH-CARE
PLAN BECAUSE TONIGHT TRUMP SAID HE THINKS HE CAN MAKE THE
PROPOSAL EVEN BETTER.
HE'S GOING TO ADD SOLAR PANELS TO IT.
(APPLAUSE) SMART THINKING, HUH?

Surprise! Trump Doesn't Have Comey Tapes

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