The Lamest Ways To Die In A Video Game

One of the first, and harshest, lessons you learn when attempting to master your favorite
games is how often you die.
However, some deaths in gaming are so frustratingly absurd you might consider dropping the controller
and taking up a new and hobby altogether.
Here's a look at the lamest ways to die in games.
Curiosity killed the cat
The Kings Quest series is notable as one of the most classic adventure game franchises
of all time.
It's also infamous among fans for the many incredibly stupid ways you can die, such as
accidentally rolling a boulder over yourself.
But perhaps the most embarrassing way to go is in the third Kings Quest game, where you
can trip over a cat...and tumble to your death.
You just can't trust those furry bastards.
Picking your nose
Quest For Glory was created by Sierra Online, who also created Kings Quest, and the games
share a penchant for sadistic ways to spectacularly fail and die.
The game is distinct from other Sierra titles by having a role-playing element, where you
can choose classes and traits of your character that alter their fate.
That's cool — unless you decide to become the most incompetent thief of all time and
try using your lockpicks on yourself.
If you do, your character will haphazardly jam the lockpick into their nasal cavity,
puncturing their brain and ending it all immediately.
So… maybe don't do that.
"If your nose starts bleeding, it means you’re picking it too much.
Or not enough."
Over before it began
The Transformers: Mystery Of Convoy is a Japanese-release only NES game that's been resurrected as a
cutesy phone-app game and anime nearly three decades after its release — because of course
it has.
You play the Autobot named Ultra Magnus, and your quest is to find out who killed Optimus
Prime.
But you better be ready for action right from the get go, because the game is notoriously
difficult.
How difficult?
Well, if your reflexes aren't sharp, you can actually get shot down during the game's opening
moments, dying and ending the adventure literally before the introductory music even finishes
playing.
Now that's harsh.
Suicide by boredom
Over the years, it's sort of become a gaming tradition to add some kind of cutsey, jokey
animation for those moments where you set your controller down and wander off.
You know, the character starts playing a guitar, or makes a wisecrack about not doing anything,
or maybe sits down.
And then there's Sonic CD, where Sonic the Hedgehog makes his boredom known by straight-up
offing himself.
"I'm out of here!"
That's right: because you didn't hit the pause button, Sonic just dives through the fourth
wall to his death accompanied by the sound of children cheering.
Great job.
Boobality
The Mortal Kombat rip-off Killer Instinct decided to up the ante with its own batch
of totally over the top fatalities.
The most infamous of these belonged to Orchid, who would rip open her jumpsuit and flash
her goodies at her opponent, whose eyes bulged out of their head Looney Tunes style before
dying of shock.
"Awesome victory!"
Sure, why not?
Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory
The not-so-classic game Night Trap featured a real gut punch of an ending.
After playing through the entire game by setting off booby traps to clear a haunted house of
vampires, Diff'rent Strokes actress Dana Plato shows up to congratulate you on your victory.
However, you can actually booby trap her as well during the epilogue.
And if you do — well, it's game over.
"I can't believe you’d do this to me after everything we’ve been through!
No!”
[Screaming]
That terrible ending wasn't the first of its kind, however.
It may have been inspired by the classic fighting game Karateka, which had a similar finale.
After battling through untold rooms filled with evil ninjas, you finally rescue the princess.
But if you approach her in fighting stance, she thinks you're a bad guy — and kicks
you to death.
Digging your own grave
Minecraft is an open-world game that's nearly twice as big as the world the people playing
it actually live on.
You can do pretty much anything there, within the functional limitations of the game's internal
physics.
One thing you should never, ever do, however, is dig straight down.
You almost wonder why they even included the ability in the game because it leads to certain
doom, as you plunge through the roof of a gigantic cavern and fall to your death.
Or, if you're more industrious and lucky, plummet into the molten core of the planet.
No swimming
In the insanely popular first person shooter Halo 5, you play an enhanced super-soldier
fighting a species of oppressive, evil aliens.
Using a bunch of cool weapons, players routinely defy death.
But there's one thing even the toughest warriors in the galaxy can't defeat: water.
For some reason, even getting ankle deep in water kills you dead.
Maybe next time, include a couple of floaties in that armor?
Death by cutscene
For a game with the word "dead" in the title, it makes sense that Dead Space 2 has a lot
of ridiculous death scenes.
Apparently the developers found themselves wondering what would happen if you just decided
to leap into a giant fan that happens to be part of the background scenery.
But they outdid themselves by adding a fatality to an interactive cutscene.
All you need to do is play through an incredibly simple mini-game to progress to the next stage,
but if you intentionally botch it, the memory-wiping device ends up getting jammed through your
eye and into your skull, ending the game.
[Screaming]
That's enough to make any future visits to the eye doctor, well, a little stressful…
“No, no, one.”
“Okay.
Two… or three.”
“Three.
Unless three is too much of an improvement.
I’m sorry, is one in the mix?”
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The Lamest Ways To Die In A Video Game

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