Bad Signs: Family Care, Smirnoff Ice Promotes Healthy Sleep

-♪♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em? ♪♪
♪♪ "Bad Signs" ♪♪
-Michael Phelps versus Bigfoot, man.
-Man, he's gonna swim.
-Heard it here first, man.
-Bigfoot's going to ride a dune buggy.
-What did they do with the Michael Phelps thing?
I didn't see it. My cable's out.
-What?
-My cable's out. Isn't that unbelievable?
-That's crazy.
-Something with Verizon versus TiVo or something.
They're not -- They're not connecting.
What do they call that? -Meshing?
-I don't know. Some deal.
So now I'm out --
I've missed both "Games of Thrones."
"Game of Thrones." -Two "Games of Thrones"?
-I missed two games -- two games so far.
[ Laughter ]
Game, set, ma-- One more, I have match.
-You have match, you're gone.
-"Set of Thrones" is like the best.
And "Match of Thrones" is the best, but --
I missed that. I missed "The Bachelorette."
I'm really upset.
-Oh.
-I need these things to --
It's like -- -It's fuel.
-Yeah, it's like oxygen for me. -Yeah.
Love is like oxygen. -I don't even get Oxygen.
I don't even get -- That network doesn't come in, either.
-Really? You don't get Oxygen?
-None of the networks. -Well, Logo.
-But these are -- these are real pictures
or funny signs that you guys saw in a store
or weird signs that you saw while driving around.
You pulled over, hopefully, safely, took a photo,
and then got back on the road safely.
You took a photo, sent it in to us.
Again, these are all 100% real, just very funny bad signs.
The first one was sent in by Summer and Eva Labrie
in Fleming Island, Florida.
They were at a farmers market... -Oh, love 'em.
-...and spotted this.
"Organic-ish produce."
[ Laughter and applause ]
You'll never know the difference.
-Yeah, come on. -Just eat it.
It's an apple, all right. Just eat it.
It's expensive. It's an expensive apple.
So you won't even know --
Yeah, it's "organic," sure, whatever, yeah, yeah.
This next sign was sent in by Mike Newman
in Spring Hill, Tennessee.
He noticed it while driving.
It said, "Slow down. The cop hides behind this sign."
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Oh.
-Uh, ya think?
This next one was sent in by Bobby Sahid in Ontario, Canada.
He was shopping in Walmart
and saw this deal on Ruffles potato chips.
-Oh, fantastic. -I love Ruffles.
Check this out, man.
0 for 5 bucks.
-Wow!
"-Here's $10. How much do I get?"
"Nothing! Get out!"
Get thrown out of a Walmart. -That's hard.
-I'll pay 10 bucks to get thrown out of a Walmart.
This next one was sent in by Phil Smith
in Palm Springs, California.
He was shopping and saw this -- "family care."
Oh, let's see what they have for family care.
Oh, liquor. There it is right there.
-Truth in advertising. -Do my parents run that store?
-Yeah. [ Laughs ]
-This next sign was sent in by Nate McQueen
in Cave City, California.
He spotted this sign in a visitors center.
"Please do not lick the walls."
[ Laughter and applause ]
I've said it once, I've said it 1,000 times.
-Don't lick the walls. -Just don't lick the walls.
-Don't lick it.
-Guys, this next one was sent in by Jesse Hoekstra,
in Rochester, Minnesota.
He spotted a sign that pointed out
where the nearest fire hydrant was located.
-Always good to know. -Yeah.
There you go. Yeah. That's sign's helpful.
That sign -- That sign is helpful.
-Where is it?
-I would have never noticed... -Where is it?
-...that there was a fire hydrant there
had it not been for that sign.
Whew!
This next one was sent in by Steven Lucas
in Springfield, Illinois.
He was shopping at a Sam's Club and saw this right here.
Smirnoff Ice.
And in small print, it says, "Promotes healthy sleep."
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Again...
-I don't think that's --
-I don't know if it's healthy, but it does promote sleep.
-I don't think that's true. -Yeah.
-We're down to our last bad sign.
It was sent in by Kim Bingham in Saratoga Springs, Utah.
She knows some street signs. Let's see what they said here.
"New Hope Drive, dead end."
There you go. That's a dark turn.
That's all the time we have for "Bad Signs."
If you see a funny bad sign,
e-mail it to us at badsigns@tonightshow.com,
and we might put it on the show.

Bad Signs: Family Care, Smirnoff Ice Promotes Healthy Sleep

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