How to host a Terrific Key Party, Part 1 | Terrific Women

(Sitar music plays)
- Welcome to Terrific Women. - On today's show...
Both: Hosting a terrific key party.
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
- Joy made all of this erotic artwork herself.
- Oh, well I just think sexuality has its place
in the arts and crafts world.
But also, I'm just so excited
because I've never seen Linda so thrilled!
- I haven't slept in three weeks!
This is what Terrific Women is all about.
I love having people over.
Honestly, getting this, this huge house in the divorce
was the best part about my marriage with Frank.
- Frank. Just hearing his name makes me want to vomit.
- Let's get this party started with a sultry cocktail
from our delicious bartender, Alejandro.
- Hi ladies! In honour of this fabulous key party,
this is the Key To The City.
Tequila, soda, lime
and shake it like you can unlock any door
you goddamn want.
- Oh.
- Ooh, mama likey! - Baby likey too!
- Cheers! - Cheers!
♪♪♪
- Aside from a sensual cocktail,
we're gonna teach you all the necessities
of throwing a terrific key party.
- Such as a bowl for the keys.
You want just the right acoustics
when those keys hit that bowl.
You want a sound that says "yeah you did!",
not a sound that says "maybe I shouldn't' be here".
For example.
(Keys jingle, dull thud)
(Keys jingle, sharp clink)
- Ding ding ding!
Now that's the sound of a mind being opened.
- (Laughs) That's right, Joy.
- Another thing you're gonna wanna think about
is having a featured snack that just oozes sexuality.
Both: CHEESE FONDUE!
- Let's head up to the kitchen
so we can show you our Terrific Women
Fondues and Fon-don'ts!
Warm, smooth dripping fondue!
- For you next fondue event,
consider personalizing the handles of your fondue sticks.
You're guests will never know what hit 'em!
- Yes, personalizing a fondue stick
is a great conversation starter if you have a neighbor
whose marriage you want to forcefully shake up.
- And speaking of shaking things up,
I've decided to sell my house next door
and leave the show and move in with my brother David
for the sake of the baby.
- This one over here has a weird long penis on it,
and this one - a daisy! (Laughs) Cute!
- Hey Linda, did you... did you hear what I just said
about, about leaving the show and moving in with my brother?
- Oh my gosh, Joy, you're too high.
Let me get you something to level you off.
- No, no, no. I'm really sorry,
and I'm sorry viewers at home too.
It's just, with no father in the picture
and this baby on the way, I just have to sell my house
and move in with my brother David.
- I just feel like the most lovely pregnant rug
has been pulled out from under me.
- I'm really sorry, Linda,
it was so hard to find a way to tell you,
and when you said "shaking things up",
it really just felt like a perfect natural segue.
- No it's fine, it's good.
Congratulations Joy, I think it's,
I think it's lovely and great and wonderful...
A-are you all right?
- Yes I just, ugh, I just haven't been this affected
since Frank left me.
I'm... I uh, I'm just going to zone out...
just gonna zone out.
- Okay... well...getting back to the program.
Uh, cheese fondue is so great
because it always puts you in the mood for some hot loving,
eh Linda?
- Hm?
- And I know who loves getting down in a tub of warm goo,
it's Linda! Linda?
Linda? Linda? Linda, Linda! Linda!
You're hand is resting in the fondue.
(Alejandro gasps)
- Alejandro, thank God you're here.
Please tell me you have something for her.
- You know it, sister, it's called the There She Is.
It's a special cocktail you drink up your nose.
- Oh, that's great. (Laughs nervously)
Oh, that's great. (Doorbell rings)
Oh, ha ha. Don't you just love the ding-dong
that signals your first guest arriving?
(Doorbell rings again) - (Sniffs) I'll get it
- There she is.
- Okay... well, that's all for today's program.
Please tune into the next episode
to see our key party in full swing,
or better yet, come on down to 45 Mary-Lynne Drive yourself,
and bring your keys. Okay, to be continued.
- You need a cocktail?
Announcer: This episode of Terrific Women
has been brought to you by Skippy's Hock Shop,
just off of Highway 7. Hock your items for cash
or just take a look, because you don't know,
you just never know.

How to host a Terrific Key Party, Part 1 | Terrific Women | Episode 6

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