Jenny Slate Got Called a Snitch by a Pantsless Woman

-Let me tell you what. -What is going on?
-I didn't get in a car accident. Okay, it wasn't my fault.
-Jenny, first, rewind, rewind.
What's going on? What happened?
-So, okay. So, I was late for an audition.
I was very nervous.
I couldn't find the door to the parking garage.
Everything was, like, exits.
And I was, like, "Well, you don't go in the e--"
-Enter through an exit, yeah. Exactly.
That's good. -I found a tiny little spot.
My car is like a garbage car
that's covered in bird poop and filled with garbage.
-And I was, like, "Well, I'll just leave it here."
Because who cares? I hate this thing.
-Are you gonna take it? Yeah. No one's gonna steal this thing.
-Yeah, who cares? -Yeah, no one cares.
-So, okay. I parked in the little spot.
There was a van in front of me.
And I didn't -- if I did anything --
-Jenny. -Okay, hold on, Jimmy.
It was like this. It was like...
Like that, like a kiss.
[ Laughter ]
You would love to be the van if I were -- just, like, nothing.
-It was a mwah? -Yeah, that van --
-Got kissed by you. -Yeah. Nothing.
-By your car, covered in bird poop.
-Covered.
-So you hit -- You basically tapped it?
-I didn't even think that I did it.
And I'll also say, I have nice manners.
And I'm always like, "Is everyone okay?"
So, if I had thought I would have hit it,
I would have said something.
I heard some honking.
Suddenly a lady -- it's not even like she --
I don't even know if she opened the van door.
It seems like she just, like, busted out,
and she was already yelling at me.
-Okay. -Like, came out yelling.
And I was like, "Ooh, I'm uncomfortable."
[ Laughter ]
Okay, I'm uncomfortable because I don't like to be yelled at.
And I -- But I was like, "Why is this worse
than when I usually feel bad about being yelled at?"
And I was like, "Oh, because this lady also isn't --
She's not wearing any pants."
[ Laughter ]
-What? -None. No slacks at all.
[ Laughter ] -What are you talking about?
-She came out of that van with a shirt, and that was all.
And she's like -- I don't know if I'm allowed to say this.
I was standing there, and I was like, "Holy moly, no pants.
We're not going to connect."
-"We're not going to connect."
[ Laughter ]
"Holy moly, no pants." -Holy moly.
-"We're not gonna connect." -"We're not gonna connect."
-Yeah, that's what I would say, too.
-Not a friend. -No.
-She's, like, standing there.
She's like, "You hit my car, bitch!"
And I was like, "Aah!"
-Yeah.
-And she's like, "You hit my car
because you're a snitch for the police."
[ Laughter ]
I was like, "Okay." She doesn't have pants on.
She doesn't know exactly what I'm like.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, you're not a snitch for the police.
-Okay, I might be a bit of a gossip,
but I'm certainly not a tattletale.
[ Laughter ]
I'm like, "Ma'am, okay."
-"You don't know me." -"You don't know me."
And I was like, "I'm not a snitcher, okay?"
She's like, "Yeah, you're a snitch,
and you're gonna have to pay."
And I'm like, "Okay, I get that."
Like, I'm so scared.
And then, she watches me stammer,
still doesn't have any pants on.
Let's just keep saying that.
And then, she just goes, "Get out of here, rat!
Get out, snitch!"
And I was like, "Uh, you got it."
-What is going on?
-I know. -Jenny, I'm sorry for you.
I don't want you to have to deal with this stuff.
You're a very nice person.
-I'm really nice.
I'm a bad driver, but a nice woman.
-The point of the story is, did you get the audition?
-Yes! -You did?
That's what I'm talking about! See?
[ Cheers and applause ]
You got the blood boiling, and you got that audition.
Jenny Slate, good for you.
-Yes, it's about a woman who's a snitch who --
[ Laughter ]
-Well, that would be an acting role for you,
because you are not one. -Because I am not,
and that would be a stretch.
-Let's talk about "Landline," can we?
-Sure. -This is a comedy,
but it's also a drama as well. -Mm-hmm.
-Do you want to set up -- Do you know --
Tell everyone what it's about? -Sure.
"Landline" is a movie about the Jacobs family.
They live in Manhattan in 1995.
And when two sisters who really don't get along --
because they're 10 years apart and they just --
one thinks one is too wild,
and the other thinks the other one is, like, uptight --
they discover their father's affair.
And what might have torn them apart
kind of brings them together.
-Yeah, it's a different movie than I've seen,
but it's very real.
It's very funny, and you're great in it as well.
-Thank you.
-And I always love hearing your voice, by the way.
-Oh, thanks.
-Because you do a lot of animation stuff
and every time I hear it, I go, "that's Jenny Slate."
-Yes. -You're great.

Jenny Slate Got Called a Snitch by a Pantsless Woman

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