Paul Ryan: Dress Respectfully While We Rob You Blind

PAUL RYAN HAS DECIDED THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE IT'S TIME TO
UPDATE THE HOUSE DRESS CODE.
THIS WAS A STORY LAST WEEK INVOLVING AN IDENTIFIED
JOURNALIST WHO CLAIMED THAT SHE WAS KICKED OUT OF THE CHAMBER
BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT SHE WAS WEARING A SLEEVELESS DRESS.
WELL, THAT SPARKED THE DEBATE ABOUT THE DRESS CODE THAT
IS DECADES OLD, AND NOW PAUL RYAN SAYS, I DON'T KNOW,
LIKE MAYBE IT'S TIME TO UPDATE IT A LITTLE BIT?
LET ME GIVE YOU THE DETAILS;
THE CURRENT GUIDELINES ALLOW THE HOUSE SERGEANT AT ARMS, AND
MEMBER OF CHAMBER SECURITY TO RESTRICT ACCESS TO STAFF AND
VISITORS NOT WEARING APPROPRIATE THIS IS ATTIRE, BUT WHAT EXACTLY
HOSTAGES APPROPRIATE BUSINESS ATTIRE IS NOT STATED.
SO IT KIND OF ALLOWS PEOPLE TO GO AHEAD AND KICK ñ
MOSTLY WOMEN ñ OUT FOR NONSENSE, RIGHT?
A LOT OF WOMEN WEAR POWER DRESSES, BUSINESS ATTIRE,
THAT IS SLEEVELESS, AND THAT IS JUST MODERN TIMES.
THE PART THAT PEOPLE ARE UNDERPLAYING, THAT IS DRIVING ME
CRAZY, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE OPEN TOED SHOES.
LIKE, WHY?
WHAT IS THAT, FROM THE 1800S?
I KIND OF GET THAT.
WHY?
I PERSONALLY DON'T CARE, SO I WOULD ROLL MY EYES AT THAT
AS WELL, BUT I DON'T KNOW, JUST, I DON'T KNOW.
REALLY?
THAT'S NOT EVEN A THING I REALIZED WAS AN ETIQUETTE THING.
FEET ARE GROSS, LET'S KEEP IT REAL.
NO NO NO, THAT'S WHY THIS IS TOTALLY SEXIST, IF NOT BY
INTENTION, BUT BY AFFECT, BECAUSE WHICH MALE REPORTER
OR STAFFER IS GOING TO COME IN WEARING A SLEEVELESS SHIRT?
IT'S PREPOSTEROUS, WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO WEAR, A WIFE
BEATER TO CONGRESS?
IT'S ONLY GOING TO APPLY TO WOMEN'S.
AND THE OPEN TOE THING, WHICH NASTY DUTIES GOING TO SHOW
UP IN, YOU KNOW, WITH WHATEVER YOU SHOW UP IN, FLIP-FLOPS
OR WHATEVER, TO CONGRESS?
BUT WOMEN WEAR DRESS SHOES THAT SHOW THEIR FEET ALL THE TIME.
THEY DO, THEY DO.
INMOST FORMAL SETTINGS.
I'M JUST SAYING THAT, IN MY LIST OF PRIORITIES REGARDING
WHAT I WOULD WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT THIS DRESS CODE, THE
OPEN TOED SHOES THING IS THE LEAST OF MY CONCERN, RIGHT?
I MEAN, IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME EITHER WAY, THAT IS JUST MY
HONEST TAKE ON IT.
HERE'S WHAT PAUL RYAN HAS TO SAY ABOUT IT.
HE SAYS, IN REGARD TO THE DRESS CODE, "THIS IS NOTHING NEW
AND CERTAINLY NOT SOMETHING THAT I DEVISED.
AT THE SAME TIME, THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT ENFORCEMENT
COULDN'T STAND TO BE A BIT MODERNIZED."
THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART: "A QUORUM IS IMPORTANT, ESPECIALLY
FOR THIS INSTITUTION, AND A DRESS CODE IS IMPORTANT
ESPECIALLY IN THE LOBBY."
I JUST LOVE HOW THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT ETIQUETTE WHILE THEY
ROB US BLIND.
WE GET TOGETHER AND TALK ABOUT HOW TO VIOLATE YOUR FREEDOMS,
HOW TO GIVE TAX CUTS AND LOOPHOLES TO THE RICHEST PEOPLE
IN THE COUNTRY, HOW TO SCREW OVER THE MOST DISADVANTAGED,
BUT WE JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU COVER UP YOUR ARMS, LADIES.
PROPER DECORUM.
GO FUCK YOURSELF.
THAT WENT IN A DIRECTION I DID NOT EXPECT, BUT YOU ARE RIGHT,
THEY START WARS THERE THAT THEY DON'T NEED TO START.
PEOPLE DIE, LET ALONE HEALTHCARE, LET ALONE THE
TAX CUTS.
DO YOU KNOW THAT THE TOP 0.1% ARE GOING TO GET A $940,000
TAX CUT?
MEANWHILE, YOUR TAXES ARE GOING TO GO UP.
BUT HE'S WORRIED ABOUT DECORUM.
HE'S TALKING ABOUT DECORUM.
DECORUM.
OKAY, THE MAN THAT YOU SUPPORTED, WHO IS CURRENTLY THE
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, BRAGGED ABOUT GRABBING WOMEN BY
THE PUSSY, AND MOVING IN ON THEM LIKE A BITCH.
I MOVED IN ON HER LIKE A BITCH.
AND THEN HE SAID...
YOU'RE A PIRATE BITCH.
THAT WAS SOMEONE ELSE.
I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT OUT OF HIS QUOTE BOTHER ME, BUT IT IS THIS
FAKE PROPERNESS.
BUT OPERA 10
THAT WE ARE PROPER WHILE WE ROB THE AMERICAN PEOPLE BLIND.
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE THE
CORE ISSUES IN WASHINGTON.
YOU CAN PASS THE MOST PERFECT POLICIES, THAT'S OKAY, BUT IF
YOU ARE IMPOLITE TO SOMEONE ELSE IN THE ELITES, THAT IS
CONSIDERED UNACCEPTABLE.
THAT'S THE THING THAT WILL GET YOU RAILROADED STRAIGHT OUT OF
WASHINGTON.
HE WAS IMPOLITE TO ONE OF THE ELITES, HOW COULD HE!
DECORUM HAS BEEN BROKEN!
BUT DIDN'T YOU GUYS PASS THE RESOLUTION TO GET US INTO THE
IRAQ WAR, AND DIDN'T SEVERAL HUNDRED THOUSAND CIVILIANS
DIED BECAUSE OF IT?
YES, BUT WE DID NOT BREAK DECORUM WHILE WE WERE DOING IT.
GOD FOR BID WE SHOULD SEE YOUR ARMS WHILE WE ARE VOTING
FOR HORRIFIC THINGS.
AND THEN FINALLY, MY RANDOM NOTE ON IT IS, HE'S LIKE, LOOK,
IN THE LOBBY WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE THIS TO QUORUM.
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET TO YOUR OFFICE WITHOUT PASSING TO
THE LOBBY?
SO, ANY RULE THAT APPLIES TO THE LOBBY APPLIES TO THE WHOLE
BUILDING, SO WHY BOTHER MAKING THAT STUPID DISTINCTION?
BECAUSE THEY CAN'T HELP THEMSELVES, THEY ARE LIKE,
I'M GOING TO DO A LOOPHOLE HERE!
I LOVE LOOPHOLES!
IT'S JUST SO DUMB.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO DRESS PROFESSIONALLY, AND PRESENT
YOURSELF PROFESSIONALLY, BUT THESE OUTDATED DRESS CODES
DRIVE ME ABSOLUTELY NUTS.

Paul Ryan: Dress Respectfully While We Rob You Blind

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