The Late Show With Jason Bateman

WE'RE BACK WITH JASON BATEMAN.
JASON, I GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU.
THIS IS WHAT YOU SAID -- YOU SAID, IN AN INTERVIEW OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT -- I DON'T FOLLOW YOUR CAREER.
>> WHO'S READY TO COME UP HERE AND DEFEND ME?
>> Stephen: YOU SAID YOU WERE CONSIDERING BECOMING A TALK SHOW
HOST IN NEW YORK 20 YEARS FROM NOW!
IS THIS A RETIREMENT PLAN TO YOU?
( LAUGHTER ) YOU THINK THIS IS SO EASY?
>> NO, MAN.
>> Stephen: THAT 20 YEARS FROM NOW, OH, I JUST WANT TO CHECK
OUT.
I'LL BE A TALK SHOW HOST.
THAT LOOKS LIKE A DREAM!
>> MY KIDS LOVE THEIR SCHOOLS.
WHEN THEY'RE DONE WITH THEIR SCHOOLS, THEY CAN COME INTO
NEW YORK.
>> Stephen: DO YOU THINK YOU CAN WALTZ IN, IN 20 YEARS, AND
SOMEONE WILL MAKE ROOM FOR YOU?
>> THIS IS HARD, STEPHEN.
YOU'RE IN HERE EARLY AT NOON OR SOMETHING, RIGHT?
( LAUGHTER ) AND, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE BANGING
OUT TWO SHOWS IN TWO HOURS, YOU'RE DOING TWO MONOLOGUES IN P
THE SAME TIE!
HE DOESN'T CHANGE HIS TIE!
>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.
TRY IT!
GO AHEAD!
COME ON, MR. SMART GUY!
COME ON, INTRODUCE ME.
INTRODUCE ME.
INTRODUCE ME.
GIVE ME A GOOD SONG.
GIVE ME A GOOD SONG.
>> OH, MY GOD.
GUYS...
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WHOO!
( AUDIENCE CHANTING ) >> OKAY, WE'RE BACK!
HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE COMMERCIALS.
THIS IS -- THIS IS REALLY A THRILL.
I OWE YOU BIG FOR THIS.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR NEXT GUEST, UM, IS AN INCREDIBLE
PERFORMER, UM, A RECENT MAN, UM --
( LAUGHTER ) -- I DON'T KNOW, I'VE GOT NO
CARDS.
YOU GET CARDS!
IT'S SO SIMPLE!
AND WE'RE HAPPY TO HAVE HIM, PLEASE GIVE A WARM WELCOME TO --
TELL ME IT ONE MORE TIME -- SCOTT -- SCOTT -- STEPHEN!
STEPHEN COLBERT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> THIS IS EMBARRASSING.
WE'RE OUT OF TIME.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: GREAT TO BE HERE,
MAN.
HUGE FAN.
WHAT YOU'RE DOING, IT'S IMPORTANT.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
IT REALLY IS.
THANK YOU, MAN.
YOU'RE SO GREAT.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT NIGHT AFTER NIGHT.
THAT LOOKS LIKE THE HARDEST JOB IN AMERICA.
>> IT'S NOT EASY.
IT'S NOT EASY.
>> Stephen: INCREDIBLE.
I LOVE YOU AND I'M SO OBSESSED WITH YOU, YOU'RE SO GREAT.
>> AND NOT MUTUAL ADMIRATION, BUT WE SAW THAT CLIP OF YOUR NEW
DRAMATIC SHOW.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
BOY, BABE Y, LET ME TELL YOU, YOU'RE NOT AS BLAND
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: NO.
WHAT'S IT LIKE TO WORK WITH LAURA LENNY?
>> Stephen: AMAZING.
AMAZING LAURA LENNY, AN INCREDIBLE ACTRESS.
( APPLAUSE ) BEAUTIFUL.
IT WAS AGAINST THE NUDE SCENES.
SHE INSISTED.
( LAUGHTER ) YEAH, SHE INSISTED.
>> SHE'S VERY PROUD.
>> Stephen: YEAH, OF ME.
( LAUGHTER ) BECAUSE I WAS NUDE.
SHE WAS FULLY CLOTHES.
>> OH, SHE WASN'T NUDE?
>> Stephen: NO.
SHE SAID, LET ME AT THAT THING.
( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
SHE SAID YOUR AS IS SO HIGH AND FIRM I COULD BOUNCE OFF A
QUARTER AND GET BACK TWO DIMES AND A NICKEL.
SHE SAID THAT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> YOU WERE A SKATER FOR A
LITTLE A WHILE.
>> Stephen: I WORKED IN THE ICE CAPADES.
WHEN I STARRED MY CAREER IN THE ICE CAPADES IT WAS CALLED FROZEN
PEACHES, I WAS A GEORGIA-BASED ICE CAPADES GROUP AND WE
REENACTED THE CIVIL WAR ON ICE.
TRIPLE SOW COW, DOUBLE AXLE, THE WHOLE THING.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T HAVE FOR HI JINX STORIES ON THIS.
>> THAT WAS INCREDIBLE.
I MISS DAVE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) >> NO, NO!
( CHEERING ) >> STEPHEN: "OZARK" PREMIERES
TOMORROW ON NETFLIX.
JASON BATEMAN, EVERYBODY.

The Late Show With Jason Bateman

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