and it turns out a good friend of the show
is also here in San Diego.
He wanted to stop by and say hello.
Please welcome T.J. Miller.
(wild applause, heavy drumbeats echo)
Yeah, ah, ha ha, ha ha!
How are ya'?
Yeah!
(wild applause)
[Conan] Yes.
Fantastic.
(wild applause)
I'm waving!
You can't tell,
but I'm waving!
Yeah, that's great.
Ahhhh, hey, T.J.
Good to see ya'.
Hello, Conan!
Yeah.
I gotta say,
I love this costume.
It's fantastic.
Oh.
This old thing?
[Conan] Yeah.
(audience laughs)
I only put this on when I don't care what I look like.
(laughter)
No!
Conan, I decided to get into the Comic Con spirit.
Oh.
Right?
So I'm costume playing.
(audience laughs)
Which is what those in the business,
the business of being nerdy perverts call cosplay.
(laughter, cheers)
Yeahhhh!
Yeahhhh!
Very good.
Yeah.
Yes!
And so I'm cos-
I'm the Iron Throne from Game of Thrones.
[Conan] Yes, we knew that.
Yeah, yeah.
(audience laughs)
Yeah.
Big surprise.
You know, you do look uncomfortable, TJ.
Do have to say that.
- That is correct, Conan.
(audience laughs)
When I built this costume,
I did not think.
Well, I used real, actual iron.
(laughter)
This is real iron?
Is that the case, really?
Well, Conan, listen to how it sounds.
Here, hit it again.
Okay.
All right.
(drum pounds, echoing with each touch)
(audience laughs)
Look!
Yes!
Sorry.
(wild applause, laughter)
It's a.
(wild applause, cheering, laughter)
I'm sorry.
Wait.
Back into the sketch.
Hey, you're not kidding!
It's made of real iron!
(audience laughs)
That's gotta be incredibly heavy, TJ.
Indeed it is, Mr. O'Brien.
I can barely move and I am sweating more than
a caterer at the Red Wedding.
[Conan] Yeah, yeah.
Sort of walkin' around goin',
"Who had the fish?
"Oh.
"No.
"Everyone's killed.
"They've all died.
"Well, what a great waste of halibut."
[Conan] Okay, listen.
And that was a halibut joke!
Yeah, that's a good one.
That was a good one.
T.J., if it's so hot and uncomfortable in there,
why don't you just get out?
Oh, would that I could, Conan O'Brien.
Would that I could!
Okay.
I've welded myself into it. Oh, you're welded into it?
It's a Good God,
that's insane, T.J.
It's a prison of my own devising,
and yes, it is insane, Conan.
[Conan] Yeah.
But not as insane as the smell that's
emitting from within.
Oh, really?
(audience laughs)
My B.O., my body odor,
is in a constant struggle with the swamp stench
that is my under-chassis.
(laughter)
For odor supremacy, I'm not gonna.
Ah, great.
It's really.
We don't want to hear about that.
It's disgusting.
Okay?
I'm not going.
I'm experiencing an intense itch.
It's driving me quite mad,
and I don't wanna say where the itch is,
but it taint easy to find.
Okay.
We get it.
It's great.
[T.J.] Taint!
Very good.
Well.
Taint!
Yeah, hey!
Is taint close enough to touch?
Yes.
Taint nothin' but a G thing.
[Conan] (overpowered by audience laughter)
Every (mumbles) about it.
Thank you for stopping by.
T.J. Miller, you're a fantastic gentleman.
Thank you for being here, yeah.
Thank you.
(wild audience cheering, laughter, applause)
[Conan] Yeah.
Great.
(loud, echoing drum beat)
I'm not going anywhere.
(laughter)
I can't feel my legs or arms.
I'm nothing.
I'm not even a person anymore.
I'm an object.
Well, then, I'll do this.
I can just sit on you.
No, no, don't.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna sit with you.
Don't!
Don't!
Doooon't!!!
(audience cheers, applauds)
Aaaaaaa!!!
(audience hoots, holler, cheers, applauds)