Typical Rick - Unbroken Family

- Oh my God! - Oh my God this is the best day ever! I'm shaking
I'm literally, look at my hands.
They're shaking.
I can't breathe.
- I'm so happy for you.
The Broken Family reboot, are you kidding me?
This is huge.
You booked it, Gary, you booked it.
- Because that's how I fucking roll.
Okay, this is why we moved out here.
We made the leap.
That's why we drove across this land from Iowa, okay?
♪ Because I'm Gary Scalzo.
- Ah, fuck.
- Yeah, my high fives are changing, dude.
They're coming in hot.
- All right, I like it, I like it.
- Fuck. - What?
- What if Luke Sado remembers me?
What if he's still pissed?
- Luke meets a million people a day,
has a billion parties a night,
and throws thousands of people from Iowa in his pool.
You're good, focus on you.
- ♪ Broken Family
- ♪ Putting the pieces back together again!
(Rick applauding)
- What the fuck is he doing here?
- I told you, this is Gary Scalzo.
He is the one that nailed the audition.
- Huh?
- Remember, I said he's the perfect Kirk.
Good amount of honesty and charm.
- Oh, right, right, right.
- You guys know each other or something?
- No, no, no.
No, we don't know each other.
It's all good.
- Great, well rehearsal is almost up,
so everyone let's get--
- I'm sorry, hold on a second.
Just to be clear, you're telling me this is the guy
that nailed the audition right here.
- Yes.
- This guy.
With the fat face and the backpack.
- Mhm. - He nailed the audition.
- Uh huh.
- This guy right under my finger, you're talking about.
He nailed the audition.
- Yeah, Luke, fuck yeah.
Him.
- (scoffs) Wow, man.
I mean, I--
This town never ceases to amaze me, apparently.
Bravo.
- Thanks, man.
- That's not a fucking compliment.
- Okay, hey, Luke?
Why don't you just chill out for a sec?
He's just having fun with you, Gare.
- I know. - He knows.
I'm just chilling.
- It's hilarious. - It's fucking hilarious.
- Hey Rachel.
Hey, could you show Mr. Scalzo his dressing room, please?
Thanks.
Gary, it's good to have you, man.
- Thank you.
- Right this way, Mr. Scalzo.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- You know you have more lines in this
than just "thank you," right?
You're like, "thank you, thank you, thank you.
"(grunts) Thank you."
What are you, fucking Japanese?
- (sputters) Luke.
Hey Rick.
Yeah, Luke remembers me, it's bad.
- He's obviously making fun of Japanese people.
I don't see color and he sees color.
- No, what?
- Yeah he was, he was going "Thank you."
(bell rings)
- Hi.
I'm Sharon.
- Hi, Gary.
- Nice to meet you.
- Pleasure to meet you, Sharon.
- Hey man, why don't you act like
you've been here before, huh?
- Okay.
- "Nice to meet you."
- Guys, let's rehearse the scene.
Everyone, this is Gary.
He's our guest star this week.
- Yay, Gary's here, everybody.
Woo-hoo-hoo!
That's fucking amazing!
- Let's just read it out loud first.
Half speed, take it from the top please, Sharon.
- No problem.
- And action.
- I don't know how you do it, Bobby.
Your room is always filthy.
- Come on, mom.
My life is filthy.
Just like my underpants.
(Gary laughs)
- Bobby Henderson, no potty talk around your mother.
- Jeez, dad.
- Why can't you be more like your cousin Kirk?
Kirk, you keep it together.
What's your secret?
- First of all--
- I can't hear you, speak up.
- First off, Aunt Sharon, I wash my underpants.
- That's why we love you, Kirk.
Such a good boy.
- Hey, I do have a surprise.
- Really?
- What is it, son?
- I vacuumed my room today.
- Are you serious?
That's amazing.
- Great job, honey.
- The bad news is, Kirk, I broke your vacuum cleaner,
and that sucks.
- What?
Bobby, I told you to be careful.
When you borrow someone's things, you can't be reckless.
We've told you this over and over again.
You need to treat other people's possessions
like they're your own.
If somebody broke your lamp, you'd freak out.
You've gotta start showing some respect.
And by the way, you owe me a new vacuum, so suck it up.
- And cut.
- Jesus, that was fucking horrible.
I'm gonna go fart for a while. (blows raspberry)
It smells like Gary's acting.
- I thought that played well.
Great job, Gary.
Okay guys, we are lighting for a half hour
and then we tape.
- I'll be in my trailer.
- Bye Sharon. - Bye.
- Gary, that was incredible.
If that's the way you're gonna rehearse it,
don't change a thing.
Just lock that.
- Thanks, man.
- That was impressive.
- Rick, what the heck?
Look at you.
How are you, you look amazing.
- Thanks.
Been juicing.
- Obviously.
Hey, man, how the fuck are you not a movie star yet?
I swear to God, I'm driving down the street,
I'm looking at billboards, I'm like,
"Rick's gotta be on that one, nope.
"He's gotta be on that one, nope.
"Is Rick on that one, no."
It's like you're just missing.
But you'll get there.
- Me and Gary did an episode of Zombie Impossible.
- That's so dope.
Man, you are killing it, really.
Speaking of killing it, your buddy Gary.
I mean, I'm so proud of him.
For him to be going from Iowa to Hollywood
and making it, and now being on the best show of all time?
I mean, it's really gonna open up some doors for him.
- I hope so.
- Yeah, I know so. (laughs)
Anyway, I gotta get ready, but I love you, bud.
- Love you too?
- All right.
So many blessings.
- What the fuck just happened?
- Gare bear.
- Hey Luke.
- Hey, so we were talking and we wanted
to just make some changes to your monologue.
- Okay, what part?
- What we wanted to do was we wanted to make
the whole thing sadder.
We thought it would be cool if you cried
during the monologue.
- Uh, what?
You want me to cry?
- Yeah, it was Luke's idea.
Could work.
- Doesn't matter whose idea it was.
It'll work, I think it'll work.
- Really?
- You don't think you could do it, or what?
I don't understand.
- Yeah, no, it's interesting.
Interesting take, yeah, I'll go for it.
- Cool, all right then.
That's hardcore acting right there, right?
- Yeah.
- Real acting from a real actor.
- Yeah.
- You know how to cry.
I've seen you cry before.
- Yeah.
- (laughs) I love it, man.
Hey, I moved you out of your trailer.
I'm gonna use it for my Labrador.
(producer laughs)
No, I'm serious.
Isn't that cool?
- Yep.
- Watch out, I'm gonna go this way.
- Let's act.
(Gary vomiting)
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, are you okay, Barf Simpson?
- Am I okay, Rick?
No, I'm not okay.
Luke just told me to, like, cry in front of a vacuum.
Does that make any fucking sense at all?
- No, it doesn't.
He was just so nice to me and he was saying
how much he loved you.
- That makes even less sense.
What the fuck?
- He wants you to cry over a vacuum?
- Yes.
- Pretend that the vacuum is your ex-girlfriend Jenny
that I fucked in the bathroom in high school,
which I'm really sorry about, by the way.
- Yeah, that was great, fuck you.
- Exactly, use that.
Pretend she's the vacuum.
- Okay. - Right, you're an actor.
- Yeah, yeah. - You could cry.
You got this, let's go.
Let's get you in there.
Jesus.
- [Producer] Quiet on the set.
- [Director] And action.
- I don't know how you do it, Bobby.
Your room is always filthy.
- Come on, mom.
My life is dirty, just like my underwear.
- [Dad] Bobby Henderson, no potty talk around your mother.
- Ah, jeez, dad.
- [Sharon] Why can't you be more like your cousin Kirk?
Kirk, you keep it together.
What's your secret?
- First of all, Aunt Sharon, I wash my underpants.
- [Dad] That's why we love you, Kirk.
You're such a good kid.
- Well guess what.
Turns out I do have a surprise for you.
- Really? - What is it, son?
- I vacuumed my room today.
- [Dad] Are you serious, that's amazing.
- [Sharon] Great job, honey.
- Yeah, except the bad thing is, Kirk,
I borrowed your vacuum and I broke it.
So that sucks.
- What?
Bobby, I told you to be careful.
When you borrow someone's things, you can't be reckless.
We've told you this over and over and over again.
You've gotta treat people's things with respect.
If somebody broke your lamp,
I mean, you'd freak out, all right?
Show some respect.
And by the way, you owe me a new vacuum.
So suck it up.
Suck it up.
- Cut.
Cut.
- Hey man, are you okay?
- Yeah Luke, it's called acting.
I have to go to the bathroom.
- Wow, all caps.
Who is this fucking kid?
- It's my best friend, Gary Scalzo.
- That, that kid has a future in this network.
- Fuck yeah, Gary!

Typical Rick - Unbroken Family - Uncensored

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