Xanda the Lion and the Bloodlust of Trophy Hunters

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Two years ago, a Minnesota dentist named Walter Palmer
was publicly shamed for killing a beloved lion called Cecil
during a hunting expedition in Zimbabwe.
Well, like father like son.
And I don't mean the dentist.
>>Two years after Cecil the lion was killed by a Minnesota
trophy hunter, the animal's son apparently has met the same fate.
Authorities say that Xanda, a 6-year-old lion with several young cubs was shot near the same spot as his father.
What are the odds?
Cecil's family are like the Kennedys of the Animal Kingdom.
Yes. 6-year-old Xanda had a family of his own.
A bit young to be a dad if you ask me, but,
you have to remember that he grew up in a tough neighborhood with no male role-model.
Now, there's a difference between
trophy hunting and game hunting. Now, I don't like either of them, to be honest.
Now, I know that people consider hunting to be a sport. It's not a sport.
Sports have winners and losers.
When have you ever lost at hunting?
And I suppose you could call it a hobby, but it's a c-nt's hobby.
If your hobby, if your hobby is you and your best friend dressed up in camouflage,
hiding in a swamp and going 'honk honk', so you can fool the mind of a duck,
what type of low-life prick are you?
And--I've heard the whole argument that you use the kill to feed your families.
Oh! Thank god you came along!
We're all running out of food here in America without you, Noble Huntsman!
I can't even figure out another way to feed my family!
I don't know, maybe go to Ralph's!
And stop bragging about using the whole animal.
No one cares!
If a serial killer made a lampshade out of human skin,
you wouldn't say, 'Well, at least he's using every part of the victim.'
But, at least there are arguments for game hunting.
Trophy hunting is different.
It's less about living off the land, and
more about paying lots of money to kill rare animals for instagram likes.
And--I know.
Can you believe that this happened during Shark Week?
Why would you do that?
That's like Shark Christmas to them!
Trophy hunters will claim that they're helping local communities
that can use the meat from the kill.
But, think about that from the villagers point of view.
Day one: fresh lion, everyone's happy.
Day two: more lion.
Day three: cold lion sandwiches.
Day four: what is it mom? Lion casserole.
Ughhhh.
Then it's lion salad, lion soup, lion tacos, then finally,
geez mom, can we have something besides lion? And then your mom goes,
'You'll eat your lion and you'll be grateful, because there's kids starving in Africa, and they're you!'
Hunters will also argue, the money spent on hunting trips goes to conservation efforts.
But that's not really true either.
>>In a 2013 report, prepared for the African Lion Coalition found
that just 3% of hunting revenue ends up in local communities.
3 percent?
Locals can make just as much money from tourists who come and look at the animals
and don't f-cking shoot them.
Be honest with us, hunters. Be honest with us.
You don't do it because you care about conservation or helping others.
You just like the killing part.
>>Tears and sweat and challenges that you can't
imagine that you can face and overcome. When I kill an animal,
I walk up to the animal,
and with great and deep respect,
place my hand on his face
and thank him for his life.
You c-nt.
Maybe another way to thank the animal for its life is by
not killing it.
Blood lust is simply part of who hunters are.
According to a recent study, hunting is linked to personality traits like narcissism
and psychopathic behavior.
Just look at the people who do it.
But maybe the most offensive thing about trophy hunting is
how much people are willing to pay to go kill something.
>>Hunters from around the world spend upwards of 325 million dollars
on hunting in Africa yearly.
A Cape Buffalo hunt runs $20,000.
A Leopard hunt can cost as much as $28,000.
And a lion hunt costs $100,000 per cat.
Really the main reason I can't stand trophy hunters is because
I hate rich people.
I've hated rich people my entire life.
And I know the irony is,
But I think we can all tell that I'm new money and I have a lot of self-hate.
Rich people are somehow allowed
to do things differently than everyone else in the world. Like,
the rest of us are playing soccer, we're all having a great time.
We're kicking a ball around and then a rich person comes along and goes, 'I'd like to play soccer--
but I'll be sitting on the back of a horse, and I also need a big hammer.'
Rich people don't play by the same rules as everyone else.
So a rich dentist is allowed to pay $55,000
to lure an animal out of a nature preserve into an open area,
shoot him with a bow and arrow, watch the animal bleed out
over two days, and then when the animal is almost dead, he shoots it.
Then he goes out, takes a photograph with the dead animal,
and then he cuts the animal's head off and mounts it above his fireplace.
If a poor person did the same thing, but within his means,
we would lock him in prison.
Say a poor person sat in his backyard
and shot regular cats.
Regular, household, domestic cats.
They're not endangered in any way.
We put them down all the time.
Let's say, let's say this guy knew a guy
that knew where a cat might be.
And he paid him five dollars fifty to lure that cat into his yard.
Then he chucks a dart that he stole from the pub into the side of the cat.
Then he watched the cat die.
Then he runs out and takes a photo of him with the dead little cat.
And then he thinks to himself,
'Hmm, this erection's not gonna last forever.
How will everyone know the second they walk into my studio apartment
what a great cat-killer I am?'
So he takes out a knife
and he cuts the little, tiny cat's head off.
Until he's just holding the cat's head.
Then he puts it on a wooden plaque
and he mounts it above his space heater.
Because--he doesn't have a fireplace.
Because he's poor.
Now look at me and tell me we wouldn't lock that guy up.

Xanda the Lion and the Bloodlust of Trophy Hunters - Comedy Central

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