TRUMP AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
AND, BOY, NEVER HAS THAT BEEN MORE TRUE THAN TODAY.
REMEMBER YESTERDAY, WHEN DONALD TRUMP CAME OUT VERY CLEARLY
AGAINST THE WHITE SUPREMACISTS THAT MARCHED IN CHARLOTTESVILLE,
VIRGINIA?
AND WE WERE LIKE, IT TOOK TOO LONG FOR HIM TO SAY IT, BUT AT
LEAST HE SAID IT.
FINALLY GOT IT OUT.
( LAUGHTER ) WELL, TODAY YOU'LL BE PLEASED
TO KNOW HE TOTALLY REVERSED HIS STATEMENT.
( LAUGHTER ) IN A PRESS CONFERENCE THIS
AFTERNOON, WHEN ASKED ABOUT THE EVENTS IN CHARLOTTESVILLE, TRUMP
HAD THIS TO SAY: >> I THINK THERE IS BLAME ON
BOTH SIDES.
( LAUGHTER ) ( BOOING )
>> JAMES: BLAME ON BOTH SIDES.
I AGREE WITH HIM, THERE WAS BLAME ON BOTH THE WHITE
SUPREMACIST SIDE AND ON THE NAZI SIDE.
THERE WAS BLAME ON BOTH THOSE SIDES!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BUT THIS IS -- THIS IS
RIDICULOUS.
TRUMP'S THE GUY THAT WALKS OUT OF "STAR WARS" THINKING THEY
DIDN'T HAVE TO BLOW UP THE DEATH STAR.
THERE WAS BLAME ON BOTH SIDES.
( LAUGHTER ) SO TRUMP DOUBLED DOWN ON HIS
STATEMENT THAT THE NAZIS WEREN'T THE ONLY ONES AT FAULT.
HERE'S ANOTHER SHOT OF THE PRESS CONFERENCE.
OOPS, SORRY!
THAT'S A PHOTO OF TRUMP DIGGING HIMSELF A DEEPER HOLE.
( LAUGHTER ) SORRY, THAT'S A MISTAKE.
HERE'S TRUMP DESCRIBING WHY HE IS AMENDING HIS EARLIER
STATEMENTS.
>> WHEN I MAKE A STATEMENT, I LIKE TO BE CORRECT.
I WANT THE FACTS ( LAUGHTER )
>> James: NO, IT'S TRUE, HE ONLY MAKES A STATEMENT WHEN HE
HAS THE FACTS.
YOU KNOW, LIKE WHEN HE TOLD US HOW HIS INAUGURATION CROWD WAS
THE BIGGEST IN HISTORY.
OR THAT TIME HE TOLD US MERYL STREEP WAS A BAD ACTRESS.
AND OF COURSE, THAT TIME WHEN HE SAID ROBERT PATTINSON IS TOO
GOOD FOR KRISTEN STEWART.
( LAUGHTER ) HE SAID,
"ROBERT PATTINSON SHOULD NOT TAKE BACK KRISTEN STEWART.
SHE CHEATED ON HIM LIKE A DOG AND WILL DO IT AGAIN."
HE RESEARCHED THAT!
( LAUGHTER ) HE RESEARCHED THAT, GUYS.
NOW, TODAY, THIS WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT
CHARLOTTESVILLE.
APPARENTLY, TRUMP WENT OFF SCRIPT AND IMPROVISED ALL OF
THESE REMARKS DURING A PRESS CONFERENCE ABOUT INFRASTRUCTURE,
WHICH IS TERRIBLE BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE THE FIRST RULE OF
INFRASTRUCTURE IS WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T BURN BRIDGES.
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THIS AWKWARD PRESS CONFERENCE WENT ON AND ON.
I FEEL SORRY FOR THE WOMAN WHO HAD TO STAND NEXT TO DONALD
TRUMP.
SHE WAS JUST THERE TO TALK ABOUT ROADS AND SHE GOT STUCK
LISTENING TO HIM RANT.
TAKE A LOOK.
>> GEORGE WASHINGTON WAS A SLAVE OWNER.
WAS GEORGE WASHINGTON A SLAVE OWNER?
SO WILL GEORGE WASHINGTON NOW LOSE HIS STATUS?
ARE WE GOING TO TAKE DOWN -- EXCUSE ME.
( LAUGHTER ) >> James: THAT'S ELAINE CHOW,
TRUMP'S SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION.
WHICH IS GOOD BECAUSE RIGHT NOW SHE'S LOOKING FOR THE FASTEST
POSSIBLE WAY TO TRANSPORT HERSELF OUT OF THERE.
"HOW ARE WE COMING ON THAT 200-MILE-AN-HOUR BULLET TRAIN?"
AND THIS WAS WEIRD, TOWARD THE END OF THE CONFERENCE WHEN
REPORTERS ASKED ANOTHER QUESTION ABOUT CHARLOTTESVILLE, TRUMP
MENTIONED THAT HE HAD SOME PROPERTY THERE.
>> I OWN A HOUSE IN CHARLOTTESVILLE.
DOES ANYONE KNOW I OWN A HOUSE IN CHARLOTTESVILLE?
>> James: DING, DING, DING, HE DID IT!
HE MADE THE STORY ABOUT HIMSELF!
THAT'S PRETTY BAD, TO MAKE THIS STORY ABOUT HIMSELF, BUT AT
LEAST HE DIDN'T BRAG ABOUT HAVING A WINERY IN
CHARLOTTESVILLE.
>> I OWN ACTUALLY ONE OF THE LARGEST WINERIES IN THE UNITED
STATES.
IT'S IN CHARLOTTESVILLE.
>> OH, WAIT, HE DID THAT, TOO.
BUT, YOU KNOW, FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO MAKE A STATEMENT
BEFORE HE HAS ALL THE FACTS, MAYBE HE SHOULD HAVE LOOKED AT
THAT WINERY'S WEBSITE.
BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT IT ACTUALLY SAYS:
"THE WINERY IS NOT OWNED, MANAGED OR AFFILIATED WITH
DONALD J. TRUMP, THE TRUMP ORGANIZATION OR ANY OF THEIR
AFFILIATES."
( LAUGHTER ) SO THE WINERY MAY NOT BE HIS,
BUT AT LEAST NOW WE KNOW WHERE HE GETS ALL HIS SOUR GRAPES.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
NOW, IF YOU DON'T THINK TRUMP'S STATEMENTS ARE RACIST, YOU
SHOULD AT LEAST KNOW THAT RACISTS ARE HAPPY HE MADE THEM
BECAUSE, IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING TRUMP'S SPEECH, FORMER K.K.K.
LEADER DAVID DUKE THANKED TRUMP FOR HIS "HONESTY AND COURAGE."
WELL, THERE'S A THANK YOU NOTE YOU DON'T HANG ON YOUR
REFRIGERATOR.
APPARENTLY, DAVID DUKE WAS SO GRATEFUL HE EVEN SENT TRUMP ONE
OF THOSE "HATE-ABLE ARRANGEMENTS."
( LAUGHTER )