Jimmy Gives Jessica Alba His Version of an Escalator Pitch

-Okay, "Planet of the Apps." This is fun.
What a fun show. -Yeah, it's great.
-We've talked about it before you got into it, but I love it.
So people pitch you ideas.
-Yes, so I've always been in the seat where
I'm pitching venture -- you know, venture capital
or investors who invest in my company
or I've had to, you know, audition, which is sort of,
you know, like you're interviewing.
-Yeah, exactly. -Essentially.
So it was so crazy being a judge
and having people pitch their ideas to me.
-And you're trying to like --
You're competing against other judges --
-Yeah, so it's me, Gwyneth Paltrow,
will.i.am, and Gary Vaynerchuk. -I don't know those people,
but you're on it.
I'll tune in to see you. -Yeah.
-And you go, like, "I love that idea.
I want to do it." -Right, but --
Most ideas are, like, they sound good,
but then when you really dive into it,
it's not that great.
Or they sound weird in the escalator pitch.
So they basically have to pitch on their way down an escalator.
-Now, why is that? Why?
-I think to make it exciting.
-An escalator? How exciting is an escalator?
-It's like an elevator pitch.
-It should be like skydiving pitch.
That's exciting! "I got this good idea!"
Then you go, "I love it!" You know?
Escalator, like, you're just cruising down the thing.
It's very smooth. -No parachute.
-Exactly. But wait, so the escalator pitch
is they have 60 seconds to sell you --
-On their idea.
-What do you say when you don't like the idea?
-Um, try again next time?
-Maybe you should say, like, "You have nice hair."
-Well, yeah.
-Say, "You have really nice hair."
-Nice hair, yeah, I like that.
-I would like to -- I don't have an escalator --
-I mean, I was rejected a lot, as well.
So I'm just like, "Yo, that's what happens."
-What? -Kind of.
-No, you can't do that. -Well, sometimes you have to.
-They'll never forget that Jessica Alba said that to them.
-I know, but that's what happened to me, too.
-Yeah, but you got to change the world.
You say, "Hey, nice hair," it gets the same thing.
-Keep on keeping on! -Yeah, exactly!
That's what I'm saying. So, here's the deal.
-Okay.
-I want to walk up the stairs with you,
think about my ideas -- -With me?
-Now I have a lot -- Oh, wait.
Oh, you want me to just do it by myself
then I got to come down -- -Yeah, yeah.
No, I stay here, and then you have to pitch.
-Oh, I gotcha. I see what you're saying.
Now, I have lots of ideas. -I'm sure you do.
-I have apps, I have inventions, I have restaurant ideas.
-Oh, wow. -What are we talking?
-Apps, inventions, restaurants. -Want me to do all three?
I can do all three. -One of each.
-And if you like it, what do you do?
Do you give a -- -I'll give you a thumbs up.
-Okay, if you like it. If you want to invest.
-Or a thumbs down. -Or a thumbs --
Oh, I don't want a thumbs down.
Just say "Nice hair." -I'll say "Nice hair."
[ Laughter ] -Here we go. All right.
I'm gonna walk up the steps over here.
This is it. I've got to do this.
Come on, guys. This is good. Look good. You're on TV.
Millions of people are looking at you.
All right. Here we go. [ Cheers and applause ]
You guys look great.
You're a good-lookin' audience.
I love you.
I love you so much!
All right. Here we go!
Okay, here we go. Here's my pitch.
I'm gonna -- I can walk slow?
All right.
All right, first of all, nice to see you, Jessica.
I'm a big fan of your movies.
Okay, that didn't work. Here we go.
Okay, my first idea is vitamins.
But it's V-E-Y-E, "Veyetamins."
Eye-drop vitamins.
Everyone uses -- no one wants to take pills.
So you don't have to.
You drop Veyetamins into your eye.
And that's one idea.
My other idea is a sushi place called Bitsy Sushi.
It's tiny.
Smaller than normal sushi, 'cause sushi's too big.
And I can't fit it in my mouth, and I'm eating half of it,
and it's falling out and it's gross and it's disgusting
and, to be honest, disrespectful to the chef.
So, Bitsy Sushi.
Then I have a restaurant idea called Booths
where it's all just booths.
And there's a princess booth and a cowboy booth
and there's like a --
I think there should be a penthouse booth
that's like one foot taller than other booths
and it costs an extra dollar to sit in that booth.
And then an app idea,
you can have a thing called Paperweight,
when you click on it,
it turns your phone to airplane mode --
the music is freaking me out --
it turns your phone into airplane mode
and basically, it's a 3-D image of whatever it is,
and then you use your phone on top of paper as a paperweight.
And then, to make it an app, you take all the vowels out,
'cause vowels aren't cool for apps so you call it Pprwght.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Four ideas.
-That was four.
-I could see you getting the thumb ready.
-Okay. So, I -- I'm mixed.
So three of them, nice hair.
[ Laughter ]
One of them has potential,
because people hate taking vitamins.
-Veyetamins!
[ Cheers and applause ]
I get the thumbs up on Veyetamins!
I'm tell you, the future!
-It has potential! -It has potential, I know.
All right, well, you call me when someone, an investor --
for Veyetamins.
We'll get in the vitamin eye-drop business.
I love you, pal. Jessica Alba, everybody!

Jimmy Gives Jessica Alba His Version of an Escalator Pitch

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