You look exactly the same as the first time I have ever seen you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
You really do.
-Black don't crack. -Okay, yeah, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-Unless you smoke it.
Every crackhead I know -- Every crackhead I know,
there's no such thing as a young crackhead.
Because they start missing --
Once your molar goes, you are officially old.
-[ Laughing ] Your molar.
-No, but, you know, I stay young.
I take a lot of vitamins. I take like 150 vitamins a day.
-I did hear this.
-All this is vitamins, and there's multiple packs.
I got this pack. I got that pack.
I got pro-biotics. I got all these vitamins.
I look like a vitamin drug dealer.
-Yeah, seriously, yeah.
-I'm like, "Who wants some Spirulina?
Who wants that Spirulina? I got that for you."
-Who wants that Spirulina. -B-12, I'm all about that B-12.
Mama, what you want for that?
[ Laughter ]
-How do you start to -- You really do take 100 vitamins?
-Yeah, man, I want to live. You know what it is?
[ Laughter ]
-There's other ways to live. -No, but you know it is?
I want to live, and be -- I want to live young.
Like, I want to still be in the club.
I'm waiting 'cause when my kids get older
I'm gonna be the daddy in the club with them.
-No, you are not. [ Laughter ]
-We going to be right on the couch
with a bottle of something, like "Hey!"
[ Cheers and applause ]
-No, hey, hey, hey.
-Hey, Sean, pass me the bottle! Hey, it's the rock!
-Oh, my.
I hope you're not that guy. -I'm going to be that guy.
I tell them all the time, and I embarrass the hell out of them,
and that's what you get for making me your father.
[ Laughter ]
-It wasn't their choice. -It doesn't matter.
You know what?
I actually went to my high school reunion.
It was like our 25th high school reunion,
and I didn't know I looked young until I went to the reunion.
[ Laughter ]
And people was coming up to me going,
"Hey, Marlon, you was in my class."
I was like, "Was you the teacher?"
[ Laughter ]
"You retired now, right?" [ Laughter ]
-Let's talk about -- I want to talk about --
You've got two big projects here.
First is a movie on Netflix.
Everyone can check it out this Friday.
-Yes. It's called -- -It's called --
-Yeah, you can say.
-It's called "Naked." -Yes. "Naked."
White people say "naked." Black people say "nekkid."
-Nekkid. Okay. Nekkid, yeah.
-Either way it goes, it's "Naked."
It's about a guy who has to repeat the same hour
over and over again
until he gives his woman the proper wedding.
It's a romantic comedy with me and Regina Hall,
and it was a lot of fun to shoot.
Although Charleston gets really cold, and I didn't like that.
That part -- That part about being naked wasn't fun.
-[ Laughing ] No, it wasn't. No. -And it was pressure, you know?
'Cause, I'm a grower, 'not a shower.
You know I'm just -- [ Laughter ]
-And it was cold. It was cold.
-It was cold. -It was cold.
Yeah, it was real cold.
-My blood had other things to do besides that.
-Yeah. No, no, I understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
That's neither here nor there.
-It was more here.
-It was more here, yeah, but it wasn't there at all
at one point.
This is a funny, weird question I'm going to ask,
but you'll know why.
Did your mom walk out of it?
Did she see it and not like it? -She hasn't seen it yet.
My mom is like the groundhog. She comes to our movies,
and this is when we know it's going to be a hit.
If she walks out the movie before halfway through,
it's a hit. [ Laughter ]
"Scary Movie," after Shawn got the thing in his ear,
she was in a -- she had a broken leg at the time,
and that came, and she went "Ooh,"
and she literally military crawled out the theater.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
And how much money did "Scary Movie" make?
-$350 million worldwide. -There you go, Mom.
[ Cheers and applause ]
She did, like, a tough mudder out of there, yeah.
All right, so "Naked" is on Netflix this Friday.
Everyone can check it out if you have Netflix.
Check it out this Friday, it comes out.
-Yes, you ain't got to bootleg it.
-No, you don't -- -Here's the thing.
Brothers will bootleg anything.
They will. You know this.
If you ever sit at a barbershop,
they got the sequel to "White Chicks" out
and we ain't even filmed it yet. [ Laughter ]
-But this you don't have to.
It's available. Everyone's got Netflix now.
-They find a way.
And I'm on to you all with the fire sticks.
Don't make me call Netflix on you.
-I want to --
-All the black people laughing. Look, he got one.
He got a fire stick! You got a fire stick!
Oh, boy!
Don't you make enough money playing that bass?
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God.