Nice! Not Nice! - Obsessing Over Hillary Clinton - The President Show

Why are you back?! -(Bannon sighs)
There was a murder at my favorite Denny's.
Nice! Hey, that brings us to our desk piece.
It's time for "Nice! Not Nice!"
-Super not nice. -What? -(applause and cheering)
♪ ♪
♪ Nice! ♪
Miniskirts.
In order to convince me to stay at war,
General McMaster had to show me an old photo
of hot Afghan women in miniskirts.
Tali damn!
Not nice!
Mini fridges.
Mini fridges have problems on many sides.
On many sides.
You have to bend down to use them,
the freezer always ices up,
and the shelves are too short for my KFC bucket.
And the bucket's the best part.
But show me a mini fridge in a miniskirt,
and, fridgie, damn...!
Super not nice.
Lice. They pester small children at summer camp,
and that's my job.
Okay, Steve, stay on topic.
What? You can't fire me.
I queef.
-Language! -English!
That's my favorite one!
I know it by heart.
Moving on.
Nice.
Statues.
The single best way to preserve our precious, precious history.
Not nice!
History. It's old, it's books,
and I wasn't there, so who cares?
Besides, people always say, if you don't learn it,
it just repeats itself.
So I'll catch a rerun.
(laughter)
(sniffs) Uh, super duper not nice.
The History Channel.
It's all Pawn Stars and American Pickers.
Where's Hitler? He used to be the whole channel.
When I get home after a hard morning,
I want to plunk down on my bare mattress,
with a jug of wine, and root for Hitler!
(chuckles) You know, when I need to unwind,
Karen runs me a nice, shallow bath.
That's disgusting, Mike.
I hope you drown in it like a toddler.
Nice.
Hillary Clinton.
She called me a creep for breathing down her neck
during the second debate.
But I'm not a creep.
I'm in love.
I'm obsessed with her!
I can't stop thinking about her.
The only reason I wanted to see her 30,000 e-mails
was because I was hoping there was one in there
that said she loved me!
(laughter, aw'ing)
(crying): Not nice!
Tears!
There's water in my eye, Steve! Help me! Help!
I said I don't like water.
But let me do it nice-- that'll cheer you up.
(Trump crying quietly)
You know what's... nice?
Working for a white nationalist website,
then working inside the White House
while you say you stopped working at that website,
but you never really did.
-Okay, okay, Steve. -So then you go back to that website,
even though you'll still be working for the White House,
-No, Steve, no, no, no, no. -but this time
without the shackles of a gutless deep state,
-TRUMP: Okay, uh... -keeping me from using
-PENCE: No. -my dark sex magic
-No. -in my war against globalist secular modernity!
-He's getting too intense! -I am the beast
-He's overheating! -in the maze!
-No! Steve! Oh, no! -And the Grail resides within me!
-We have to cool him down! -I and other virile...
(yelling)
I'm melting!
-Oh, no! I'm melting! -PENCE: Oh, no.
I told you I never touch the stuff!
Oh...!
-He's a witch! -Oh!
I'm a witch.
-TRUMP: Steve! -(yelling)
No...! It's impossible!
No, Steve! No!
-(final exhale) -PENCE: He's gone!
Don't worry. This happens all the time.
He'll be back.
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Nice! Not Nice! - Obsessing Over Hillary Clinton - The President Show - Comedy Central

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