Popsicle Schtick: What Did One Trump Say to the Other Trump

-It´s that time. It´s that sacred time.
It´s time once again for "Popsicle Schtick."
♫♫
[ Cheers and applause ] [ Slurp! ]
For those of you who don´t know, know this is a bit
where my writers come up with bad, terrible jokes,
jokes so bad, they belong on a Popsicle stick.
[ Light laughter ]
And then they try to save these terrible jokes
with what they call kickss graphics.
[ Light laughter ]
Here we go.
[ Slurp! ]
[ Laughter ]
-♫ "Popsicle Schtick"! ♫
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Slurp! ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Pop! ]
[ Explosion ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Slurp! ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Introduction to "Whip It" plays ]
[ Laughter ]
♫ When Popsicle comes along, you must schtick it ♫
♫ When Popsicle comes along, you must schtick it ♫
♫ Schtick it ♫
♫ Schtick it good ♫
♫ Now, schtick it ♫
♫ Schtick it good ♫
♫♫
♫ Crack that schtick ♫
[ Whip cracks ] [ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well...
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Slurp! ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Hi, I´m Popsicle, and this is "Schtickass."
[ Light laughter ]
[ Bones crack ] [ Screaming ]
[ Siren wails ]
[ Screaming continues ]
[ Siren wails ]
Wait, my legs!
[ Tires screech ]
-Oh, geez, I can´t believe we forgot his legs.
[ Laughter ]
[ Siren wails ]
[ Light laughter ]
[ Scattered applause ]
[ Slurp! ]
[ Laughter ]
-Are you a small wooden stick,
looking for that extra boost in the bedroom?
Do you want more confidence
in your ability to be ready at any time?
Ask your doctor
if PopsicleSchtick is right for you.
[ Light laughter ]
PopsicleSchtick isn´t for everyone.
If you or your partner likes "The New Yorker,"
you may react poorly to "Popsicle Schtick."
PopsicleSchtick...
[ Light laughter ]
[ Laughter ]
Get back to doing what you love...
[ Bed springs creaking ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Creaking continues ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
...with PopsicleSchtick.
"Late Night with Seth Meyers" is not responsible
for any injuries incurred by a rock-hard "Popsicle Schtick."
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Next up...
[ Slurp! ]
[ Light laughter ]
[ Intro to "Baywatch Theme (I´m Always Ready)" plays ]
♫♫
♫♫
-♫ Some Popsicles stand in the darkness ♫
♫ Afraid to step into the light ♫
♫ Some Popsicles need to help somebody ♫
♫ When the edge of surrender´s in sight ♫
♫ Don´t you worry ♫
♫ It´s gonna "Popsicle Schtick" ♫
♫♫
♫ ´Cause I´m always ready ♫
♫ I won´t let you "Popsicle Schtick" ♫
♫♫
-♫ I´ll be ready ♫
-♫ I´ll be schticking, yeah ♫
-♫ Never you fear ♫
-♫ Oh, don´t you fear ♫
-♫ I´m be ready ♫
-♫ Ooh, forever and always ♫
♫ I´m "Popsicle Schtick" ♫
♫ Mm! ♫
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Well, don´t worry --
I´m confident the next one won´t be that long.
[ Light laughter ]
[ Slurp! ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Introduction to "The Sound of Music" plays ]
♫♫
-♫ The scticks are alive ♫
♫ With the sound of Popsicles ♫
♫ With songs they have schticked ♫
♫ For a thousand years ♫
♫ The schticks fill my heart ♫
♫ With the sound of Popsicles ♫
♫ My heart wants to schtick every song it hears ♫♫
[ Introduction to "My Favorite Things" plays ]
[ Laughter ]
♫ Raspberry, grape, lemon ♫
♫ Blueberry, apple ♫
♫ Fudgsicle, Creamsicle, orange and pineapple ♫
♫ Firecracker, sour cherry red as bricks ♫
♫ These are a few of my favorite schticks ♫
♫ When the shell bites ♫
♫ When the news stings ♫
♫ When I´m feeling sad ♫
♫ I simply remember my favorite Schticks ♫
♫ And then I don´t feel so bad ♫♫
[ Laughter ]
♫ I am schtick-teen going on seven-schtick ♫
♫ I know that I´m naive ♫
♫ Popsicles I meet may tell me I´m sweet ♫
♫ And, willingly, I believe ♫
♫ I need someone more like a Popsicle ♫
♫ Telling me what to do ♫
♫ You are seven-schtick going on schtick-teen ♫
♫ I´ll depend on you ♫
[ Smooch! ]
[ Introduction to "So Long, Farewell" plays ]
[ Laughter ]
-♫ So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night ♫
♫ I hate to go and leave this pretty schtick ♫
♫♫
♫ So long, farewell ♫
♫ Auf Wiedersehen ♫
♫ Goodbye, mother [bleep]! ♫
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughing ]
♫♫
[ Laughing continues ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Finale plays ]
-[Bleep] Nat-schticks!
This has been "Popsicle Schtick."
We´ll be right back with more "Late Night"!

Popsicle Schtick: What Did One Trump Say to the Other Trump

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