What It's Like Peeing Next To Your Girlfriend's Dad

- You've gotta let me pay, I had double bacon.
- Trust me, he will never let you get the bill.
- Daddy pays for bacon.
Look, I'm just glad we finally got to meet Ben
and 'course I'm happy my little Sarah's found a good guy.
You know, your mom and I, we just want the best
for our favorite daughter.
- I'm your only daughter, Daddy!
- Aw,
ain't my fault, someone has a tilted uterus.
- Well, thanks for breakfast.
Before we get going I'm gonna go to the restroom,
so I'll be right back.
- I'm gonna go too.
(cymbals crash)
(eerie, echoing music)
- Um, after you.
- Oh, well,
now they're both available.
- Oh, looks like we're going to be
peeing next to each other.
(dramatic crash, chorus singing)
- Two men,
two urinals.
(creepy chuckle)
Perfect.
- You know, I'm going to go in the stall.
- Let's pee.
(dramatic fanfare)
(melodramatic chorus singing)
(thunder crashes)
(music cuts off)
(zippers)
(urination splashing)
- So that's what your wiener looks like.
- Yeah.
(soft, strained laughter)
And...
that's what
your wiener looks like.
- Oh, yes.
- Is it getting wet in there?
- Yeah, it's it's
it's a dipper.
Yeah, thank you.
You can start peeing whenever you...
Come on.
- No, this is my stream, sir.
- What?
- This is as hard as I can pee.
- Huh.
- Well, I'm done.
- No, no, no, listen.
Before you zip up,
I want to tell you something.
That little girl out there,
on the other side of that men's room door,
she means the world to me.
Okay?
You listen when I tell you that I would do anything for her.
I want to make sure she is happy and taken care of.
- Sir, I feel the exact same way.
Me and your daughter have been going out
for four months now and,
well, I just wanted to ask--
- Say no more!
Yes.
Yes, you have my blessings to marry my daughter!
(Upbeat rock music)
Congratulations, son!
You know what you are?
You're part of the family now.
- The only thing that makes sense, then,
is chemtrails, mom.
I mean the liberal left is putting these jets in the sky
with all these toxins.
- [Mom] I thought you boys might've fell in.
- [Together] Nope, we did...
something else!
- Yes!
I will marry you!
("Wedding March")
- Welcome to the family!
(family laughing and cheering)
Welcome to the family!
- I did it!
You're my new dad!

What It's Like Peeing Next To Your Girlfriend's Dad

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