Is Jared Kushner Actually Hillary Clinton?

WE HAVE SOME HUGE NEWS, MASESSIVE NEWS FROM THE WORLD OF
SOCIAL MEDIA.
YESTERDAY TWITTER STARTED TESTING A BRAND NEW FEATURE TO
LET SOME USERS POST TWEETS WITH 280 CHARACTER LIMITS, WHICH IS
TWICE THE AMOUNT THAT IS CURRENTLY ALLOWED.
YEAH, CUZ THAT WAS THE BIG PROBLEM WITH TWITTER.
(LAUGHTER) THE ANGRY UNHINGED RANTS FROM
THE PRESIDENT SIMPLY WEREN'T LONG ENOUGH.
(LAUGHTER) WHEN HE HEARD ABOUT THIS TED
CRUZ SAID 280 CHARACTERS, BIG DEAL.
LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU CAN LIKE A PORN VIDEO ON TWITTER WITHOUT
THE REST OF THE WORLD KNOWING ABOUT IT.
(APPLAUSE) 280 CHARACTERS.
CAN YOU IMAGINE, 280 CHARACTERS, OR AS EDDIE MURPHY CALLS IT, ONE
MOVIE.
(LAUGHTER) IN POLITICAL NEWS, ALABAMA
SENATE CANDIDATE LUTHER STRANGE LOST IN A SPECIAL REPUBLICAN
RUNOFF ELECTION YESTERDAY.
NOW LUTHER STRANGE HAD BEEN HEAVILY ENDORSED BY DONALD TRUMP
PARTICULARLY ON TWITTER.
SO OF COURSE NOW THAT HE LOST, TRUMP HAS DELETED ALL OF THOSE
TWEETS.
I MEAN TRUMP HASN'T DUMPED ANYONE THAT FAST SINCE HIS LAST
WIFE.
(LAUGHTER) AND HIS LAST COMMUNICATIONS,
DIRECTOR, AND HIS DAUGHTER TIFFANY.
YOU KNOW, IF TRUMP DELETING THOSE TWEETS WASN'T EMBARRASSING
ENOUGH, LUTHER STRANGE LOST TO A CRAZY POPULIST CANDIDATE WHO
ACTUALLY PULLED OUT A PISTOL ON STAGE AT HIS CAMPAIGN RALLY
EARLIER THIS WEEK.
HERE'S THE GUY THAT HE LOST TO.
NOW TECHNICALLY IT'S STILL NOT CLEAR IF LUTHER STRANGE LOST TO
THAT GUY OR JUST SURRENDERED TO HIM.
I CONCEDE, HERE, TAKE MY WALLET.
(APPLAUSE) BUT IT IS ALL BEEN VERY
CONFUSING SO LET ME SUM UP THIS ALABAMA REPUBLICAN RUNOFF FOR
YOU, OKAY.
SO TRUMP, THE CRAZY POPULIST GUY, DIDN'T BACK THE CRAZY
POPULIST GUY, INSTEAD HE BANGED STRANGEK I KNOW STRANGE, BUT
WHEN CRAZY WENT STRANGE, TRUMP WENT CRAZY, WENT BACK ON HIS
TWEETING, STRANG FRANKLY THIS STRANGE STORY IS TO CRAZEE.
THE I HOPE THAT CLEARS EVERYTHING UP.
(APPLAUSE) MOVING ON, SOME ODD NEWS OUT OF
THE WHITE HOUSE.
IT WAS REVEALED THAT DONALD TRUMP'S SON IN LAW AN SENIOR
ADVISOR JARED KUSHNER APPARENTLY CHECKED THE WRONG BOX ON HIS
VOTER REGISTRATION FORM IN NEW YORK AND IS REGISTERED AS A
FEMALE VOTER.
WHICH IS, WE HAVE A GUY MAKING IMPORTANT DECISIONS IN THE WHITE
HOUSE WHO FILLED OUT A FORM AND THOUGHT SEX WAS A TRICK
QUESTION, HE'S LIKE YOU ARE NOT FOOLING ME, I LIKE LADIES.
(LAUGHTER) JARED KUSHNER--
(APPLAUSE) HE REGISTERED TO VOTE AS A
WOMAN.
IF FACT HE WAS SO CONVINCING THE WHITE HOUSE TRIED TO TAKE AWAY
HIS ACCESS TO BIRTH CONTROL.
NOW WAIT A MINUTE.
ON MONDAY IT CAME OUT THAT JARED KUSHNER USED PRIVATE EMAILS IN
HIS WHITE HOUSE JOB.
TODAY WE LEARN HE'S REGISTERED IN NEW YORK AS A WOMAN.
DO YOU GUYS REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?
JARED KUSHNER IS HILLARY CLINTON (APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHTER) I WOULD KIND OF LOVE IT.
IMAGINE IF HE JUST ARRIVED ON STAGE, SURPRISE!
AND FINALLY TONIGHT IS EVERYONE FAMILIAR WITH THE COMPANY DYSON,
YOU KNOW, THEY MAKE VACUUMS AND FANS.
WELL THEY JUST ANNOUNCED THAT THEY ARE NOW DEVELOPING AN
ELECTRIC CAR.
YEAH, AN APPLIANCE COMPANY DEVELOPING AN ELECTRIC CAR
BECAUSE WHO HASN'T DRIED THEIR HANDS IN AN AIRPORT BATH ROM AND
THOUGHT WOW, IF ONLY I COULD DRIVE ONE OF THESE, THIS WITH BE
AMAZING.
DIE SON IS INVESTING MORE THAN $2 BILLION TO DEVELOP THE CAR.
BUT I'M SORRY TO BREAK IT TO YOU, DYSON, YOU'RE ACTUALLY NOT
THE FIRST VACUUM CLEANER COMPANY TO INVENT A MODE OF
TRANSPORTATION.
THAT WOULD BE THE ROOMBA.
(LAUGHTER)
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Is Jared Kushner Actually Hillary Clinton?

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