Sean Spicer Never "Knowingly" Lies, The Hobbit Turns 80

-Let´s get to the news.
Former White House press secretary Sean Spicer
said in an interview today that he never knowingly lied
to the American people while in office.
Oh, really? Then how do you explain this?
-It´s another busy day here at the White House.
[ Laughter ]
-According toThe Washington Post,
in July of 2016,
former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort
offered to provide private briefings
on the presidential race to a Russian billionaire
who is close with Vladimir Putin.
So Paul Manafort
was the campaign manager for Donald Trump
and met with a billionaire who is friends with Putin,
who is in a movie with Kevin Bacon!
I did it, you guys!
[ Cheers and applause ]
President Trump tweeted yesterday,
"Alabama is so lucky to have a candidate
like ´Big´ Luther Strange,"
for the special Senate election
to fill Attorney General Jeff Sessions´ seat.
But look how he spelled "so."
Hey, man, anything more than one "O"
means you´re being sarcastic.
But you must know that. You´re soooo smart.
[ Cheers and applause ]
In an interview yesterday, Bill Gates said
that he regrets requiring Windows users
to press control, alt, delete to log in,
saying that he would instead make that a single key.
He also wishes he hadn´t made Clippy such a prick.
[ Laughter ]
Some 7-Eleven stores are now offering
what they are calling restaurant-quality dishes.
"Hey, we should try that," said Olive Garden.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Kodak has teamed with Facebook to offer a new service
that will sort through old photos
and suggest images to print out or have put on mugs.
Said one dad, "I love it!"
[ Laughter ]
A teacher in South Carolina has been suspended
after she gave her fifth-grade class a homework assignment
asking them to justify the KKK´s treatment of African-Americans.
Also suspended, the kid who got an "A."
[ Laughter ]
80 years ago today,
J.R.R. Tolkien´s book "The Hobbit" was released.
To give you an idea of what 80 years feels like,
watch the movie.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
And finally, the 1980s soft drink Jolt Cola
will return to shelves this month.
But if you really want a jolt, try this popular ´80s product.
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Sean Spicer Never "Knowingly" Lies, The Hobbit Turns 80 - Monologue

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