Bad Sponsors: Rental Floss and Snail Polish

-Here at "Late Night," we have a lot of expenses,
and to cover the cost of the show, we take on sponsors.
Sometimes, sadly, we have to take on
some pretty terrible sponsors, sponsors I´m not proud of,
sponsors I´m ashamed we took money from.
But because we took their money,
we now have to mention them on the air.
So I´d like to apologize in advance.
"Late Night" is brought to you by Rental Floss.
Tired of paying exorbitant prices
for new floss after every meal?
Save some cash with Rental Floss.
´Cause renting is temporary, but cavities are forever.
Tonight´s "Late Night" is also sponsored
by Bose Smell Cancelling Nose Plugs.
Perfect for the streets of New York
and the subways of New York, for that matter.
And if that´s not enough,
then pick up a pair of Bose Sight Cancelling Glasses,
so the next time someone says,
"Hey, did you see that creep masturbating on the D train?"
You can say, "Nope."
Don´t forget about the San Diego Chargers.
The football team may have skipped town,
but you can still visit the only store in San Diego
that sells unpackaged phone chargers.
What kind of phone will this charger charge?
We´re not sure, but probably a Motorola Razr.
We´ve also got Penguini --
the only pasta made from real penguins.
Mmm!
That´s good penguin.
Don´t forget about Fidget Spinner Stoppers.
Is your fidget spinner still spinning?
Wonder if it will ever stop?
Wonder no more, with Fidget Spinner Stoppers.
Fidget Spinner Stoppers, the only fidget-spinner stopper
proven to stop fidget spinners from spinning.
It´s just a stick!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Don´t forget about Baderade -- the official sports drink
of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
From the Supreme Court to the basketball court,
Baderade is the drink for you.
We´re also sponsored by the Travel Toilet.
Worried you might need to go on the go?
Well, with the Travel Toilet,
you get a fully functional toilet that you can attach
to your keychain.
Travel Toilet -- it´s number one...and two.
Next up, Post-Zits.
Having a breakoutand a busy day?
Cover it up and keep track of your to-do list with Post-Zits.
Post-Zits -- the Post-it that says
"I have clear skin and dry cleaning."
Also, Adderall PM --
when you got to stay awake, but you got to go to bed.
[ Laughter ]
Next up, Snail Polish. Nail polish for snails.
Just because you live in a dirty shell
and leave a trail of slime behind you
doesn´t mean you don´t deserve to feel sexy.
[ Laughter ]
And lastly, Squiji Water.
[ Audience groans ]
Wait. It´s not what you think.
Can´t afford Fiji Water?
Well, for a nickel a bottle, you can have this instead.
Wrung straight from the source,
this pristine water was used to clean the windows
of the finest buildings in the city.
It was what you thought.
Squiji Water. The secret ingredient is Windex.
That´s it for our bad sponsors. Here are some of our good ones.
Ivanka and Donald Trump Jr, Facebook Testifies Before Congress - Monologue Trump's Puerto Rico Visit and The Gun Debate: A Closer Look Matt Goldich Stand-Up Performance Tina Fey Gave Out Cheese Fries in Times Square Tash Sultana: "Jungle" Tina Fey's Daughter Learned the Wrong Lessons from Mean Girls Cecily Strong Can't Wait for Melania Trump Drag Queens Late Night White House Press Briefing: What Does Vice President Pence Call Sex? Trump Visits Puerto Rico, Jared and Ivanka's Private Email Domain - Monologue Old Video Games: Pope John Paul Racing, The Beatles Game

Bad Sponsors: Rental Floss and Snail Polish

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