Bob Corker Gives Trump A Taste Of His Own Medicine: A Twitter Insult

WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
YOU KNOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THERE'S A LOT TO TALK ABOUT
-- FULL DOCKET TONIGHT -- 'CAUSE THIS WEEKEND BROUGHT US
ANOTHER BUMPER CROP OF TRUMP, A TRUMPER CROP.
( LAUGHTER ) WAS IT SUNDAY?
ON SUNDAY, TRUMP WENT AFTER FELLOW REPUBLICAN, TENNESSEE
SENATOR AND MAN READING THE DOLLAR MENU, BOB CORKER.
YOU SEE, LAST WEDNESDAY, CORKER UNCORKED THIS ABOUT HOW BADLY
TRUMP NEEDS HIS ADVISERS.
>> I THINK SECRETARY TILLERSON SECRETARY MATTIS AND CHIEF OF
STAFF KELLY ARE THOSE PEOPLE THAT HELP SEPARATE OUR COUNTRY
FROM CHAOS.
>> STEPHEN: I'M PRETTY SURE "CHAOS" IS TRUMP'S NICKNAME
FOR HIS IPHONE.
( LAUGHTER ) IN RESPONSE, TRUMP TWEETED:
"SENATOR BOB CORKER BEGGED ME TO ENDORSE HIM FOR RE-ELECTION IN
TENNESSEE.
I SAID NO, AND HE DROPPED OUT-- SAID HE COULD NOT WIN WITHOUT,
DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT, MY ENDORSEMENT.
HE ALSO WANTED TO BE SECRETARY OF STATE, I SAID 'NO THANKS.'
HE IS ALSO LARGELY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HORRENDOUS IRAN DEAL!"
"ALSO, AND THIS IS UNFORGIVABLE, LAST YEAR HE WORKED VERY HARD TO
GET ME ELECTED.
THANKS, BOB."
( LAUGHTER ) "REALLY, SO GOOD.
HE WORKED SO HARD.
SO AMAZING.
I LOVE YOU, BOB.
GO TO HELL ."
( LAUGHTER ) BUT AT LEAST HE WAS ABLE TO GET
THIS OFF HIS CHEST AND MOVE ON TO MORE IMPORTANT--
"DOT DOT DOT HENCE, I WOULD FULLY EXPECT CORKER TO BE A
NEGATIVE VOICE AND STAND IN THE WAY OF OUR GREAT AGENDA.
DIDN'T HAVE THE GUTS TO RUN!" YEAH, CORKER DOESN'T HAVE THE
GUTS TO RUN.
AND HE'S QUALIFIED.
IMAGINE HOW BRAVE TRUMP MUST BE.
( LAUGHTER ) HERE'S THE THING -- EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING TRUMP JUST SAID IS A LIE.
CORKER'S NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE IRAN DEAL, "HE LED THE
CONGRESSIONAL OPPOSITION... AND VOTED AGAINST IT."
PLUS, CORKER'S CHIEF OF STAFF SAYS, "THE PRESIDENT CALLED
SENATOR CORKER ON MONDAY AFTERNOON AND ASKED HIM TO
RECONSIDER HIS DECISION NOT TO SEEK REELECTION AND REAFFIRMED
THAT HE WOULD HAVE ENDORSED HIM."
YES, CORKER TURNED DOWN THE COVETED TRUMP ENDORSEMENT,
SOMETHING -- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
TURNED IT DOWN.
IT'S A PRECIOUS ENDORSEMENT, AN ENDORSEMENT THAT'S USUALLY
RESERVED FOR MAIL-ORDER STEAKS AND GOOD NAZIS.
( PIANO RIFF ) ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
GOOD PEOPLE ON BOTH SIDES.
>> Jon: HEY, HEY.
>> Stephen: JUST QUOTING THE MAN.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT CORKER IS ONLY A YEAR AWAY
FROM RETIREMENT AND HE'S GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS (BLEEP).
SO HE TWEETED, "IT'S A SHAME THE WHITE HOUSE HAS BECOME AN ADULT
DAY CARE CENTER.
SOMEONE OBVIOUSLY MISSED THEIR SHIFT THIS MORNING."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: OH!
WHOA!
>> Stephen: YES.
YES, THE PRESIDENT PROBABLY MISSED HIS STORY TIME AND DIDN'T
GET TO HEAR HIS FAVORITE BOOK: "GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE
WIVES."
( PIANO RIFF ) ( LAUGHTER )
BASED ON A TRUE STORY, THAT BOOK.
( LAUGHTER ) CORKER LATER TOLD THE "NEW YORK
TIMES, "I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT EVERY SINGLE DAY AT THE WHITE
HOUSE, IT'S A SITUATION OF TRYING TO CONTAIN HIM."
AND GOOD LUCK CONTAINING TRUMP.
I MEAN, HIS TENNIS WHITES CAN'T EVEN DO THAT.
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) ( LAUGHTER )
TRUMP ALSO -- SORRY.
THERE SHOULD BE ONE OF THOSE DISCLAIMERS RIGHT BEFORE THIS --
I WANT TO LET SOME OF OUR VIEWERS KNOW SOME DISTURBING
IMAGES ARE COMING UP.
( LAUGHTER ) TRUMP ALSO WENT AFTER THE MEDIA
COVERAGE OF HIS HANDLING OF PUERTO RICO: "NOBODY COULD HAVE
DONE WHAT I'VE DONE FOR #PUERTORICO WITH SO LITTLE
APPRECIATION.
SO MUCH WORK!" "AND THE DEVASTATION TO MY EGO
COULD TAKE 30 YEARS TO FIX.
IN THE END, IT TURNED OUT, I WAS THE DISASTER."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SIR, LET THE HEALING BEGIN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NOW, TRUMP'S GOTTEN A LOT OF
CRITICISM FOR PASSING OUT AID TO PUERTO RICANS VIA JUMP SHOT.
( LAUGHTER ) YEAH, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
THAT'S INSENSITIVE.
YOU'VE GOT TO GO GIVE FOOD TO THE HUNGRY, LIKE MOTHER THERESA
DID WITH HER PATENTED SKY HOOK.
( LAUGHTER ) AND SATURDAY, HE DEFENDED
HIMSELF ON MIKE HUCKABEE'S NEW HUCKA-SHOW.
>> SO, WE DID A GREAT JOB AND WE WEREN'T TREATED FAIRLY BY THE
MEDIA BECAUSE WE REALLY DID A GOOD JOB.
I MEAN, ONE EXAMPLE -- THEY HAD THESE BEAUTIFUL SOFT
TOWELS, VERY GOOD TOWELS.
AND I CAME IN AND THERE WAS A CROWD OF A LOT OF PEOPLE AND
THEY WERE SCREAMING AND THEY WERE LOVING EVERYTHING AND I WAS
HAVING FUN.
THEY WERE HAVING FUN.
>> Stephen: AND YOU KNOW THEY WERE BEAUTIFUL, SOFT TOWELS
BECAUSE THEY WERE PAPER TOWEL-BRAND
PAPER TOWELS.
( LAUGHTER ) RIFT RIFT HUGE FANS, ARE THEY A
SPONSOR?
PAPER TOWEL BRAND PAPER TOWELS.
YOU KNOW THEIR SLOGAN, "THESE ARE PAPER TOWELS."
BUT CATCHY.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT ULTIMATELY, TRUMP REFLECTED
ON THE SUFFERING OF THE HURRICANE VICTIMS AND
ACKNOWLEDGED THAT FROM HIS POSITION OF PRIVILEGE, HE
COULDN'T EVEN COMPREHEND WHAT THEY'RE GOING THROUGH.
(SILENCE) JUST KIDDING.
( LAUGHTER ) HE KEPT THE FOCUS ON THE REAL
VICTIM, HIMSELF.
>> I SOMETIMES ASK MYSELF HOW DID I EVER GET HERE WITH THE
HORRIBLE, UNFAIR PUBLICITY?
AND I DON'T MIND.
LOOK, IF IT'S FAIR-- IF I DO SOMETHING WRONG, TREAT ME BADLY.
>> STEPHEN: WE'RE DOING OUR BEST.
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
I APOLOGIZE.
I'M SORRY.
I INTERRUPTED YOU.
PLEASE, GO ON.
>> BUT WHEN WE'RE DOING GOOD, IT SHOULD BE FAIR.
THE MEDIA IS, REALLY THE WORD, I THINK ONE OF THE GREATEST OF ALL
TERMS I'VE COME UP WITH IS "FAKE."
I GUESS OTHER PEOPLE HAVE USED IT PERHAPS, OVER THE YEARS, BUT
I'VE NEVER NOTICED IT.
>> STEPHEN: YOU THINK YOU CAME UP WITH THE WORD "FAKE?"
( LAUGHTER ) SIR, JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER
NOTICED SOMETHING DOESN'T MEAN IT WASN'T THERE ALL ALONG.
LOOK AT ERIC.
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Bob Corker Gives Trump A Taste Of His Own Medicine: A Twitter Insult

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