How to Know Who to Date, & Why to Be Careful With Love

- Welcome to my radio podcast for today.
I gotta a question for you.
For a marriage to last,
what's more important.
Friendship or chemistry?
And I literally just posted on my Twitter.
All you entrepreneurs out there,
you should use Twitter Polls at least,
I use it everyday.
But at least once a week or once a month.
So I have at this table,
we're here at Bossa Nova on Sunset Boulevard.
There is seven females and three guys.
So we have a well represented panel of questions.
Now, also I have another question that only women could ask.
90% of the time, I meet girl's boyfriends
and I wanna ask the girl,
what the hell do you like in that dude?
It's like, women.
And so, the second question that I'm gonna do
a Twitter Poll as we do this broadcast is
what percentage of people are in relationships
because they don't think they can get better
and so they're afraid to like take a step
out and be alone for a little bit
versus they're totally happy in the relationship.
'Cause I feel like,
I was just talking to a certain someone here
but I won't put her on the spot.
No, it wasn't her, it wasn't her.
And it's like she's with a guy and I'm like
are you gonna stay with this guy, you've been for years
and actually over here, too.
We have number two person that said the same thing like.
So the question is, I think 90% of people,
90% of people compromise.
And we have their opinions in the background.
What's your opinion?
- I didn't say anything.
- We have someone here to decide that
told me she's extremely afraid of social settings.
But she talks non-stop.
So, little side note.
Very few people actually know themselves.
They're like delusional.
So, okay.
Who here at the table has ever been in a relationship
and you stayed in it not 'cause you really liked him
but it was the best you could get at the time?
- [Girl With Ginger Hair] Like we did that?
- Yeah.
- Oh, I have.
- One, two.
Been in a relationship but it wasn't,
you were like I can do better.
- Oh yeah.
- [Tai] But I'm just with this person in there interim.
Three, four.
- How about if it's like I can do better but
it's more like I'm secure right now?
- Yeah, but. - I feel safe.
- You feel safe but you know there's no long term future.
That's what I'm talking about.
How often have you done that?
- Oh yeah, no I've done that. - Five.
Six.
So, here's the thing about life.
Yesterday there was a mass shooting.
Largest mass shooting in US history.
I was in Vegas.
I took off and took a picture from the,
I was at a private jet airport
and I took a picture out of the window.
We were right next to the festival at Mandala Bay.
If I had left maybe two or three hours later,
we would have been right in the middle of the shooting.
So life is short, so.
Do you know what happened?
This is a good love story.
Did you see this guy?
They were shooting and him and his girlfriend ran
and he put himself, he hugged her.
And he got shot in the back and died.
But he protected her.
So she had a good guy.
Turned out to be good.
But I swear to God.
Okay, I'm gonna put you on the spot here.
Your friend made a funny face
when I was talking about relationships.
You were in a relationship for how long with a guy?
- I mean honestly, I'm kind of a relationship person.
- [Talia] So how long was the last one?
- The last one like two years.
- The last one was two years.
What the hell did you like in the guy?
Did you like him?
Okay your friend says he's trash.
Why did you like him?
Like why are there such divergent,
and I'm gonna tell you the reason.
I'm reading the most fascinating book.
For those of you who don't have iBooks,
I mean who have iBooks,
listen and buy this book.
It's by Sigmund Freud.
It's called Group Psychology and the Analysis of the Ego
He says love is, the closest analogy is hypnotism.
People get hypnotized and they forget to see the flaws
and you said you felt secure but you were hypnotized.
Your friend wasn't hypnotized so she saw the truth.
So for a relationship to be real,
'cause I've been in relationships where I'm like
this girl just likes me but I don't know if she loves me
or just loves being in love.
One of my best friends, this dude was in love.
When I first met him, he's from South America.
I met him like 10 years ago.
First time I met him, he's like dude,
I met the love of my life.
Okay, I was like aw, I never met him
so I thought that was like rare.
Six months later, three months later, he's like,
I'm like what happened to the last girl?
He's like dude, forget her.
I've met the love of my life.
Over and over.
He's had the love of his life 20 times in the last 10 years.
So I told him one day, I said dude,
you're not actually in love with,
what Freud calls the ego object.
So, you don't give a shit about the person.
You just love to be in love.
So my question to you is,
did you actually love this guy?
Or were you just in love with being in love?
'Cause you admitted you're a relationship kind of person
and how long in the relationship, for the relationship
did you know he wasn't the guy for you, long term?
Out of the two years.
How long did it become apparent that you're like,
hell no, I'm not spending the rest of my life with this guy.
One week?
- No I would say like a year.
'Cause you know there's like that butterflies
and stuff in the beginning and--
- So you stayed with him for a full year.
I think this is actually the pattern.
What's the longest relationship you've been in?
- [Girl With Ginger Hair] A year and a half.
- All right, we have one person, a year and a half.
- [Elle] Six years.
- Six years, Adrian longest.
- [Adrian] Two.
- Two, Craig, you were married.
- Seven. - Seven.
- Four. - Four, longest.
- Um, probably like four.
- Four, my longest is like three.
- Probably like three.
- Three.
- Six months.
- Six, okay. (laughing)
We got some issues here. (laughing)
All right, so.
In that relationship that each of you said,
we have all this range.
What percentage of the time were you fully actually
in love with the person?
You were not like Sigmund Freud.
You were not hypnotized by the love effect.
You actually saw them clearly and you loved their.
What did you love about this guy for two years?
Just tell me, what was lovely about him?
- I mean honestly, like I feel like
when you first meet someone, like me personally,
I love when like a guy is an asshole to me, I love--
- [Tai] Okay so he was an asshole
to you so you have mental problems.
- That like tug of war thing.
Well like no, not like--
- [Talia] hat's actually a mental problem.
- No not like an asshole but it's kind of like that--
- She said for those of you listening,
she said she loves when a guy is an asshole.
- Okay, that's not--
- [Tai] You know what a psychologist calls that?
- Yeah, I like chasing him.
- [Tai] She has--
- But I like him to like, you know like me.
But then at the same time--
- You like games. - Yeah I kind of like games.
- By the way, that's called,
if you want the technical term,
that's called anxious avoidance syndrome.
There's four main types of love types.
Secure, about 50% of people are secure.
The other 25 are anxious.
And then about 20% are avoidant.
And the last like 5% are anxious avoidant.
That's the worst by the way.
So here's the definition.
I'mma ask you a question.
If a guy, first month, if he's super into you,
do you get kind of freaked out and not like him?
- Um I mean I don't know, that's never really like
happened to me honestly so.
- So you like assholes, okay.
A lot of women, trust me, have fucking psychology problems,
mental problems and so do men.
This guy, you've been with him,
why are you in love with him?
What about him is lovely?
'Cause something's gotta be,
the definition of love.
There has to be something about them.
- Um.
- No it's not always about sex.
That's bullshit.
You can't talk, you only got six months experience.
She don't know shit.
- She said sex come on. - She said sex.
No woman for the most part,
stays long term with a guy
just because of sex.
Unless they have mental problems, like stripper girls.
I know stripper girls.
If a guy doesn't treat them like shit,
what happens is.
If you wanna know the actual psychology,
when you're about five years old,
by the time you're five, right.
You form attachment to your parents.
Are your mom and dad married?
- No. - Okay.
So there's this thing called R-factor or K-factor, sorry.
If you have a fucked up initial five years of your life
or you don't see love,
you basically create a mental map that's all backwards.
So for example, you'll learn that being attached
to a good person,
you'll think it creates pain.
It also creates narcissism.
Most narcissists, they overcompensate it.
They weren't loved by their parents.
People think that narcissism comes from compliments.
Not really, not when you're young.
When you're young, narcissism,
your parents don't compliment you
so you overcompensate in your life.
I'm gonna be, I love myself.
And the same thing with this avoidant thing.
So most people, the problem is people by the time
they're 18 years old,
their mind is so fucked up, it's like wires
and there's no way you can rewire 'em.
I got good news and bad news if you're listening.
My mentor, Dr. David Buss
who's probably the most experienced living psychologist
in the world.
He wrote the textbook for Harvard, for Yale.
I asked him, I said, can a person really change?
And he said, three important things,
if you're writing down notes.
Number one, it depends on the person.
Some people can't change hardly at all.
It's a loss cause.
Number two, you probably can't for the most part
change more than 10 maybe 20%.
So, number three,
all you people having kids out there,
for the love of God,
please can you not fuck up your kids
so we have these horrible humans running around?
That's what happened in Las Vegas.
This dude was not normal.
A normal guy doesn't become 60-years old,
take a, what did he have?
An AK-47 or an AR? - AR.
- He had an AR and he shot 500 people
or 500 people were injured, over 50 killed.
And let me tell you the story, the background story.
His father was one of the most wanted bank robbers
in history.
That shit gets inherited by the way.
Being psychotic or having what's called low impulse control
which he obviously had, that's genetic.
So at some level, you know,
there use to be this thing called eugenics.
In America, they use to sterilize people
and say you can't have kids.
That's unethical so they stopped doing that.
But.
But.
There is some truth to the fact
that some people shouldn't be having kids
so they fix themselves.
Like literally.
And that's what, basically, everybody says,
what's wrong in the world.
I'm like, I can tell you.
You gotta have a license to drive a car, right.
But you don't have to have a license to have kids.
Anybody that can sleep with somebody, that's all it takes
and then you bring a new life into this Earth
and then we've got 7.3 billion people.
Half of them are literally lost.
And psychologically impaired.
There's a big study that just came out.
25% of women have serious psychological problems.
25!
That's one in four.
And 15% of men.
So about one in seven men.
Does anybody here, has anybody here ever been in love
with an actual quality guy?
- [Talia] (laughing) No.
- No, have you?
Like in hindsight, when Freudian.
- [Girl With Ginger Hair] Define quality.
- Quality means when the hypnosis disappears.
When the first year, she talked about, of love,
of being hypnotized.
When that's gone.
- [Craig] When that new car smell's gone.
- And then you look back at the guy, objectively.
Not hypnotized, did you go,
oh, that guy makes sense.
That made sense.
Or were you like, what the hell?
Yes, what did you love about him?
- His generosity.
- [Tai] Okay generosity but why are you not
with him anymore?
- Because he was more goal oriented than I was.
- [Tai] He was more goal oriented?
- [Girl With Ginger Hair] He was in a band so.
(dialogue fades)
- Oh he was in a band, oh no. (laughing)
Oh no, he was in a band.
That's like, so he was goal,
what he actually wanted to do
was go on the road and have fun, for the most part.
Girls love musicians
and they always have these heart break stories.
Which is another thing, you know.
There's something called
self-fulling prophecies in business.
I meet people.
The second they get a business big enough to make money,
they somehow mess it up.
Do some stupid thing.
Same with love.
People get in that and then the second it's big enough
potential, it all falls apart.
Just remember this, 50% of people
have their head screwed on straight when it comes to love.
So you gotta find,
automatically 50% of people are disqualified.
Anybody you meet, you might as well flip a coin
because that tells you that the odds,
first of all, that they're even psychologically sane.
I'm not even talking about if you're attracted to 'em
or any of that stuff.
I'm pretty much convinced that men aren't that important.
You know that, a few men, could populate the whole planet.
Women are important 'cause you need one woman per baby
but you don't need one.
There was a guy named, what was his name?
Barak, something in the, about a thousand years ago.
Something the blood thirsty.
Mubarak, the blood thirsty.
He had 1100 kids.
One man.
- What? - How many?
- 1100.
Genghis-- - For real?
- Yeah, what do you mean is it possible.
- [Girl With Ginger Hair] Oh are you thinking Genghis Khan?
Not, not Genghis Khan.
Genghis Khan had so many kids,
one in seven Asians, he's their grandfather.
Isn't that insane?
He's a grandfather to one seventh of Asia.
Here's what I'm convinced.
There needs to be less men on the planet.
Is that controversial Adrian, that I say this?
- [Adrian] Keep it going, keep it going.
- Keep it going, this is the...
No but I'm serious, like.
If you look at evolution.
Like if you read an evolutionary psychology textbook,
men are more competitive.
Men die more, they kill themselves in car crashes.
They kill themselves in bar room fights.
Women hardly ever kill each other.
Almost never.
They're catty.
They talk a lot of mad crap behind the girls' back
but they don't actually knife people.
Sometimes, they'll knife their husband in the back but
not so often, you know.
But basically, I'm pretty sure
the world would be a better place
if it was like 70/30.
70% women.
I heard a guy say,
if women ran all the countries in the world,
they'd be no more wars,
but once a month, they'd be some serious tension
between the countries (laughing).
Once a month.
China and America would be like, argh.
But they wouldn't you know, quite kill each other.
So, I don't know how to, if any of you listening
to this podcast episode, have a solution.
- [Woman Closest Right] Do you want want?
- That was her solution.
Do you want wine.
I think what we could do.
I'm glad you're very engaged in this convo,
she's very engaged in this convo.
These two over here are like, I'm like,
can you not have a side conversation.
They're like, sure.
Okay, let's have a side conversation.
(laughing)
- [Talia] Do you want wine?
- For those of you who believe in astrology,
she has a lot of Sagittarius.
They like attention.
So if someone else is getting attention,
they're like, hell no, that ain't gonna happen on my watch.
I will bring it right to myself.
What if we send half the men in the world,
on an Elon Musk rocket ship to Mars?
I think that would be good.
Only men want to go to Mars.
Do you guys want to go to Mars?
Is that exciting to you?
Mars?
- No. - Mars, Mars, Mars?
Okay one.
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way.
- [Woman Far Right] I think space is so interesting.
- By the way, I'm working on the most extensive study
of personality tests ever done in history.
I created a test with Dr. Buss.
I had all of them take it except you didn't take it.
- I took it.
- [Tai] No not the more in depth one.
- Oh okay.
- And I'm telling you this,
you can tell everything by the way,
this little, I'm meandering around conversations.
A woman who aggressively DM's you first,
watch out dudes.
Every time I test girls who DM me first,
99% of the time, they score horribly on psychological tests.
And all you people are gonna get mad.
- [Elle] What's a horrible score?
- They score horribly, yeah.
I believe that you DM guys.
- I DM'ed one guy.
- We have case study.
We have case study number one
at the end of the table, right here.
Right when I said that, she goes,
I DM'ed a guy today and that's like.
- [Woman Far Right] Oh my God.
- One a day, she's saying.
- [Woman Far Right] I saw him at MonTon
and I thought he was the cutest guy I've ever seen.
- Trust me, mental problems.
- [Elle] What do you mean score horrible?
Isn't it like, explaining your personality?
- No the test that I have.
Or the test that I have.
- [Waiter] Carbonara.
- Who got the Italian?
Who got Carbonara?
I don't think we ordered yet.
So what horrible means.
(faint dialogue from audience)
No but you're tricky.
I don't believe you.
I've met you in person.
About 5% of people can trick my test.
Let me ask you a question.
- I got like the lowest score on the test.
- [Tai] Your mom and dad, tell me about your childhood.
- They were like farmers.
I'm from Iowa.
- That don't mean anything.
They're psycho, there's farmers that got bodies
in the basement right now.
- Ed Gein. - What?
- Ed Gein. - Whose Ed Gein?
- Ed Gein, the guy.
Made a people's costume.
No. - Out in the Midwest.
- Just trust me guys,
'cause a lot of guys are like my dreamworld
is where like girls are just DM'ing me
like celebrities.
No!
I've been on both sides of that.
I've had a life that's normal.
And then I've had a life where girls DM me.
Now I don't even respond.
If a girl DM's me, I'm like hell no.
And the reason I know that, I sent my test
to at least a thousand of those girls.
And that's statistically significant.
At least 9,
I did a test once, a hundred girls.
And by the way, the other type of girl
that's completely messed up.
Models.
All these dudes want models, I'm like no.
You can hang out with models
but you don't want to date a model.
No sir.
There's a few exceptions.
But not much.
I did a test on a hundred of the top Instagram models.
I sent them my test.
87 of 'em got a completely fucked up score.
(faint dialogue from audience)
- [Woman] What is a fucked up score?
- A messed up score, so okay.
They're asking me a good question.
Here's a psychological score that's messed up.
The first thing you look at is dark triad.
So you look at narcissism, machiavellianism
and being psychotic.
If they score high on narcissism,
you can do something called a narcissism inventory
which I did on you.
Her narcissism inventory, can I say?
- Sure.
- It's the other test I sent you with the red bars.
- [Blonde Woman Closest Right] Okay.
- You got probably the craziest score I've ever seen.
So maybe you were drunk that day when you took it.
I'm gonna give you the benefit.
So here's what narcissism personality,
a narcissist is someone who loves themselves
and can't see things from other people's side of the story.
There's five aspects in narcissism.
There's authority superiority.
Exhibitionism, vanity and exploitativeness.
So there's subcategories.
Who here has ever met a dude,
'cause we've got a lot of women here,
whose good looking but he's completely into himself
and he's a piece of crap?
(faint dialogue from audience)
- Yeah.
- Yeah because narcissist either have--
- Oh, I know what that was.
- Can I show your score?
This is amazing.
I love life sometimes, I'm like.
Wait, where's, wait, show the bottom one.
Wait, go here, okay.
Wait, where was it?
- Oh it that the tab part?
- Look at this test, this is.
She got (laughing), she got a 37 out of 40.
40 is the highest you can get.
And you got a 37.
So I got good news for you.
On vanity, and vanity means means like
looking at yourself in the mirror,
you cannot get any higher score.
You scored a perfect 100, okay.
- [Woman Closest Right] If my friends saw this,
they would be like yeah, that makes sense.
- Entitlement, this a nasty one.
Vanity, let me just tell you, vanity in a girl,
if I had to pick all the traits that I could live with,
vanity's okay 'cause I feel like all girls
like looking in the mirrors.
But you got, on superiority,
that means you see yourself as better than people,
you got a 100. - Wow.
- But here's the worst of them.
You got on entitlement, on entitlement,
you got like a 90.
So entitlement, I have a friend like this.
And you know I've been friends with him for 10 years
and I never figured out what was wrong with him
till I gave him this test.
It's called, the narcissism personality inventory.
NPI, it's a free test, online if you Google it.
He always says stuff like,
dude, you don't call me.
And I'm like, but you don't call me.
And he can't do the math in his head.
How you gonna call someone else out
for not calling or texting when you don't.
But now I know why.
I had him take this test.
His entitlement score.
So entitled is kind of like,
the world owes me lots of stuff.
- [Woman] Like the world revolves around you.
- Yeah and so yes.
You're, you're boyfriend should get a purple heart
and a gold star so if you're watching, (laughing)
you are an amazing man
and I don't know how you do it.
But I'm very proud of you and your strength
as a man although...
You also got a 100 on exhibitionism
which means like to show their body.
But let me ask you this.
'Cause one thing I like about you, good news,
you're very honest, that's good.
'Cause some people try to hide it.
You're like, I'm a narcissistic
and I don't care if anybody knows.
So you're a unique case study for me.
So my question is,
you do see yourself superior to most people.
Like you're--
- That sounds so messed up when you say it.
- No no but just think of it this way like,
most people are kind of dumb.
You see things a little better than most people.
You got more insight and things like that
than the average girl.
- Yes. - Yeah.
- Yes.
Now sometimes that's true like if you're,
I'm gonna give you this test by the way.
- [Woman Closest Left] I want to take it.
- I'm gonna give you, can you text her the link I sent you?
- [Elle] Yeah, I will.
- Yes, take this test right now.
You don't have Wi-Fi?
- No I have the worst service.
- Yeah, there's Wi-Fi right here, ask this dude.
Go to Wi-Fi. - Okay.
- So you asked me what a bad score is.
First thing, narcissism.
If they score high on the dark triad narcissism,
I have them take a second test called NPI.
It's kind of like an x-ray of the brain.
Sometimes people argue with me.
I'm like would you argue with an x-ray.
If an x-ray shows you have a broken arm,
would you be like, no it's all good man.
No, you have a broken damn arm.
You kind of have a broken brain on certain things.
On some things, you're doing great.
So I'm not gonna, throw you under the bus too much.
But the second thing you look for is machiavellianism
which you are not, so that's good about you.
- What?
- You don't lie a lot.
- Oh no.
- So, that's good, high five.
- Because I always get caught.
- She gets caught or else she would lie (laughing).
- [Woman Closest Right] No, 'cause I've learned.
- Did you get it?
- [Talia] Yeah, I think so.
- Yeah, okay.
So have you ever dated a guy that says one thing
but then behind your back does a completely different thing?
That's machiavellian traits.
Not straight forward.
And you can do a machiavellian inventory.
The third one, only women have to deal with it.
Psychotic, who here has ever dealt with a psychotic guy?
He basically had no emotions.
You?
Okay, we have one over here, Adrian.
So what was he like?
Emotionless? - Yeah.
- No feelings? - Nothing.
- [Tai] How long did you stay with him?
- Um, several months.
- Why people?
Respect your damn self.
Who cares, there's lots of people you can have chemistry.
- [Girl With Ginger Hair] She's the only one
that said chemistry out of friendship, chemistry.
- But think about this.
Here's a good framework for like,
imagine you got seven more months in life and that's it.
You're gonna spend it with that guy?
(faint dialogue from audience)
'Cause a lot, 50 people just got shot in the back,
in the face yesterday.
It could have been any one of us at this table.
We're gonna take a short commercial break
because we are gonna order food.
We'll be back for segment two.
We're now here in part two.
I have further, wait but guys.
Be a little bit, I'm gonna put you.
You guys can go to another table.
Don't be too loud, okay.
I know, they can go right there.
There's a great table.
You guys can have weirdo conversations over there.
I'm talking with Elle.
This is conversation with Elle.
Elle, remember I was saying earlier, in part one,
I was saying how, what do women find attractive in men?
So I asked Elle.
She said, oh, I was with a great guy
but he had a little addiction problem.
What was the addiction problem?
- [Elle] It was Meth.
- Meth!
Meth!
Meth.
We are talking about a full on crack head kind of drug.
It's not like weed.
Meth.
Now, I asked her, this is the interesting thing.
I said, why were you attracted to him.
She said, well, when you're together with a guy
for so long.
I said how long.
And how long you been with him?
- [Elle] Six years.
- Since he was 13.
So this begs another question.
What kind of parents let their 13-year old
have a full relationship and what was your answer?
- [Elle] Single mother.
- No but you said, not only single mother
but she didn't care about you.
- She didn't care, yeah.
- Okay, so I'm gonna make a prediction right here
on this podcast.
- [Elle] I'm like ghost to everything you're saying.
- Listen to me Elle,
if you don't fix your brain,
I guarantee you you'll have shitty life.
- Yeah. - Zero.
But you have about two years to fix it.
By the time you're in your early 20's,
the brain seals over.
Your brain physically, it physically stops being,
you know like trying to learn a language
is really easy when you're five, right.
- [Elle] Yeah.
- But you can learn Chinese at three.
Kids can learn 10 languages by the time they're five.
But you can't learn five, 10 languages in a year
when you're 30.
So, you have to, life has given you.
But I had the same hand.
I had a single mom.
But my mom loved me so it wasn't as bad as yours.
Have you ever met your dad?
- [Elle] Yeah, yeah.
- Is he cool with you, are you cool with him?
- [Elle] No.
- Does he care about you?
- No. - Okay.
So the Meth guy, forget the discovery of the Meth.
The fact that you're attracted to the type of dude
who would ever be involved in Meth
is the root of the problem.
- [Elle] Yeah I did.
- But get it fixed.
Think of it this way, if you were super overweight
and you don't know how to work out in the gym,
what do you do?
What should you do?
- [Elle] Get a trainer.
- Hire a trainer. - Mm hm.
- So you need a brain trainer, you don't have a brain.
It's funny, in L.A., everybody has a--
- I start Wednesday.
- Everybody in L.A., in Hollywood,
they have body trainers.
They got personal trainers
but then their brain
is like an obese, out of shape.
And they're like, nah, I'll fix it on my own
through natural just the progression of time.
Nah, you don't fix, the shit gets worse with time.
The less you work out your body,
if you're out of shape at 30,
you can't be like, ah, just give it till I'm 40.
I'll be good then.
No, it gets worse.
So that's why I said, whatever you have right now,
it's about to get worse.
If you're already dating Meth heads at 19,
oh my God.
I'm worried.
I'm worried about planet Earth sometimes, okay.
Can you text the screen shots of this to me?
So the question becomes, how do you fix this?
It's extremely hard, that's the first one.
But I'll give you a little bit of good news.
You're number one thing, it's gonna be hard for you.
You have to completely switch
the type of people you hang around.
You have to find girlfriends
who came from the best family in history.
The first time you meet a girl
before you decide they're gonna be your girlfriend,
you'll be like, tell me about your mom and dad.
You want them to be like, oh they were in love.
They were pinching each others butt
after 30 years of marriage.
That, you hang out with 20 people like that
and it'll slowly, you'll absorb it.
You will.
Can you send that to me?
- [Talia] Yeah, I'm sending it to your now.
- Speaking of, weird people, you're talking to.
Tell us about Matt.
- [Talia] Matt?
- Or whoever you're just texting.
- It's just my mom.
- Oh your mom's name is Matt?
- No it's M-O-M.
- Her mom's name is Matt.
Hey, in Hollywood, you never know.
- Yep. - Matt can be a mom.
- No it's my mom, I don't know a Matt.
(laughing)
I really don't know a Matt.
- [Elle] She's actually best friends with her mom.
- So you have to change your friends
'cause I guarantee you-- - I'm friends with her mom.
- [Tai] Nope, you're best friends with her mom?
- And her like me and my mom don't get along.
- No no no, you didn't hear what I said.
No you didn't hear what I said.
No you missed everything I said.
- [Elle] Well I heard it.
- You're friends with her and she didn't have good parents.
So how is that fixing the problem?
No you have to find people, that you don't know now.
And then when you meet 'em, be like, I like you.
Tell me about your mom and dad.
The problem is like attracts like.
Fucked up people become friends with fucked up people.
There's a good book on this
called the Age Factory of Personality.
It's by the guy who invented the HEXACO score.
He basically said that for the most part,
people go to equal levels.
So if you're narcissistic,
most of your friends are narcissistic.
If you have bad parents,
like all my friends growing up.
Everyone of them had a single mom except Jeremy.
I'm sorry, I had one set of friends,
out of every friend that had a mom and dad.
Because I didn't have a mom and dad
so I didn't have anything in common.
- What about me?
None of my friends, all of my friend's parents are divorced.
I'm the only one, my parents have been married for 18 years.
- Right, so those friends are lucky.
You're the exception to the rule.
All right, did you text it to me?
- [Talia] Yeah, I texted it to you.
- All right, now we're gonna look at Talia's psychology.
Here we go.
All right.
Her score.
Damn, this girl is anxious right here.
What's up, have you ever taken medication for anxiety?
- [Talia] Uh no.
- You ever thought about it?
- No. - But you're anxious.
- [Talia] Yeah, I am.
- You were born to harass a doctor.
You also cry a lot at movies.
- Yeah.
- And you're not that dependent.
So you'd be an average girlfriend, not the best.
- [Talia] Not the best (laughing).
- Not the best.
Guys, when you do this test that I have on my website,
look at the girl's dependence factor.
And women, look at the guys.
If there's no dependence,
then why do you want to be with somebody?
You've got to be a little dependent on somebody.
I'm dependent on my business partners.
You're somewhat forgiving.
You're not stubborn, that's a good thing about you.
- I'm not stubborn.
- And you're patient.
You're ISFJ or INFJ, really mmh?
- [Elle] That's the same thing I got.
- Well you guys are, she might,
she's more introverted than you.
ISFJ means, I stands for introversion, not extroversion.
S stands for sensing, not intuition.
F stands for feeling, she's not a thinker, no offense.
She's more of a feeler.
And she's a J.
Do you make plans far ahead?
- Um yeah.
- Yeah, J's will plan out like their vacations
like three months ahead of time.
P's like me, man if you start making me plan
six months ahead of time, I get stressed out.
I'm like hell no.
In fact, I tell my assistant,
only tell me my day's plans the morning when I wake up.
Yeah, the morning I wake up,
I'm like, that's when I want to know what I have to do.
- [Girl With Ginger Hair] You're such an Aries.
- Or else I'll think about it all day.
I'll be like, oh Friday.
Like this Friday, I have this conference,
my mentor conference.
Since I know it ahead of time, it's been ruining everyday
'cause I got to think about that damn thing.
(upbeat music)
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