"SUPERIOR DONUTS" ON CBS.
PLEASE WELCOME JERMAINE FOWLER.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
PEOPLE OUT THERE MIGHT NOT KNOW BUT WE WORK TOGETHER ABOUT SIX
WEEKS AGO, EIGHT WEEKS AGO, SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE THE ANNOUNCER ON THE EMMYS.
>> I WAS.
>> Stephen: HAVE A GREAT TIME?
GREAT TIME, YEAH.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HAD A GREAT TIME, MAN.
>> Stephen: I HAD WAY MORE FUN THAN I THOUGHT, TOO.
>> YEAH!
>> Stephen: THOSE THINGS GENERALLY ARE A DRAG, ESPECIALLY
WHEN YOU LOSE, WHICH I DID.
( LAUGHTER ) >> THAT WAS SCHOOL SEEING --
THAT WAS COOL SEEING YOU BACKSTAGE.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE ON THE FUN SIDE OF THE STAGE.
I WAS ON THE BACK SIDE OF THE STAGE.
YOU WERE BY THE RED CARPET.
IF SOMEBODY WON, THEY CAME RIGHT BY YOU.
>> THAT WAS SO COOL, I GOT TO SEE THE ACTORS, EMOTIONS RAW,
HOLDING THOSE DAMN TROPHIES.
I SAW DONALD AND SHOCK, LENA, NICOLE KIDMAN -- SHE'S
GORGEOUS -- AND IT WAS SO, SO COOL, MAN.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE EVERYBODY IS ACTUALLY GOING TO BE SUPER
COOL ABOUT IT BUT THEN THEY GET THE AWARD AND THEY'RE ALL
(BLEEP).
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU ALSO HAD A BAR ON YOUR SIDE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU HAD A BAR.
EAN SPICER WAS STRESSED OUT FOR WHATEVER REASON.
HE'S NOT WORKING ANYMORE, SO -- ( LAUGHTER )
HE DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE AND HE'S STILL GETTING DRUNK.
SO FUNNY TO ME.
SO I SAW THAT.
( LAUGHTER ) HE HAD A PROBLEM.
I'M BACK THERE, LIKE, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHOSE NAMES NOT TO
MESS UP, YOU KNOW.
JULIA LOUIE DREYFUS IS HARD TO SAY.
IT SUCKS.
>> Stephen: THAT'S THE ONE NAME YOU KNEW YOU HAD TO SAY.
>> I KNOW.
I SAID I HOPE SHE DOESN'T WIN BECAUSE I'M GOING TO MESS IT UP.
I KNEW I WOULD MESS IT UP.
>> Stephen: YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD SAID, ELAINE FROM
"SEINFELD"!
( LAUGHTER ) CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU.
YOU GOT BETTER THAN AN EMMY.
YOU GOT A BRAND-NEW BABY DAUGHTER.
( APPLAUSE ) WHAT'S YOUR BABY'S NAME.
>> HER NAME IS TI BAY.
>> Stephen: HOW IS SHE IN THIS PHOTO?
>> SHE LOOKS 25.
>> Stephen: SHE DOES.
HE'S THREE MONTHS.
SHE HAS A PERSONALITY.
IT'S CRAZY.
SHE KNOWS WHAT THE CAMERAS ARE.
PICTURE, SHE GOES, AAAA -- I GO, WHO ARE YOU?
IT'S COOL, MAN.
BEING A DAD IS INSANE.
>> Stephen: HAS IT CHANGED YOU IN ANY WAY?
>> YEAH, IT HAS.
I HAVE A DAUGHTER, LIKE, EVERYTHING ABOUT ME IS, LIKE, MY
WHOLE POINT OF VIEW HAS BEEN CHANGED.
I'M MORE EMOTIONAL NOW.
>> Stephen: OH.
YEAH, I AM.
LIKE, NOW.
I'M VERY EMOTIONAL.
I REALLY AM.
I'VE CRIED DURING MOVIES I'VE NEVER CRIED DURING.
I'VE CRIED DURING "TAKEN."
I'VE NEVER TRIED DURING "TAKEN."
>> Stephen: THEY TAKE HIS DAUGHTER.
>> THEY DO.
I'M, LIKE, HOPE YOU GET YOUR DAUGHTER BACK, LIAM.
I DID THAT.
>> Stephen: DID YOU THINK OF ACQUIRING A SPECIFIC SET OF
SKILLS?
>> I DID, MAN.
>> Stephen: HOW OLD IS SHE NOW?
>> SHE'S THREE MONTHS AND SOME CHANGE IS THAT SO SHE'S KNOT
MOVING AROUND YET, SHE'S STILL IN THE CARRIER, RIGHT?
>> SHE'S DOING THIS STUFF.
SHE CAN'T ROLL YET.
>> Stephen: THAT WILL COME ANY DAY NOW.
THEN SHE WILL BE CRUISING AND WALKING.
HAVE YOU STARTED THE PROCESS OF BABY PROOFING YET?
>> WHAT DO YOU DO?
>> Stephen: PUT PLUG COVERS.
OH, PLUG COVERS!
>> Stephen: PUT LITTLE PADS ON THE CORNER OF YOUR GLASS COFFEE
TABLE.
YOU PUT LOCKS ON THE KITCHEN CABINETS SO THEY CAN'T GET TO
THE DELICIOUS WINDEX.
>> NO, I GREW UP POOR.
WE DIDN'T HAVE PROOFING.
MY DAD WOULD JUST TELL US, DON'T DO THAT, AND LEAVE.
>> Stephen: THAT WORKS, TOO.
DON'T TOUCH THAT!
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
BUT I WAS A VERY IMAGINATIVE KID GROWING UP.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE BROTHERS AND SISTERS?
>> YEAH, A TWIN BROTHER NAMED JEROME AND A SISTER NAMED
YASHIKA.
THE ONLY NON-J.
I'M FROM MARYLAND SO IT WOULD RAIN A LOT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SERIOUS?
I WANT TO GRAB YOUR HAND SO BAD.
HI, HOW YOU DOING?
OH, MAN, THAT'S COOL.
IT WOULD RAIN REALLY HARD SOME TIMES.
ALL I WOULD DO IS OPEN THE WINDOWS IN THE HOUSE SO THE
WATER WOULD COME THROUGH AND PRETEND I WAS IN A PIRATE SHIP.
( LAUGHTER ) SO ME AND --
>> Stephen: AND YOUR PARENTS KNEW THIS?
>> NO, THEY WEREN'T HOME.
( LAUGHTER ) JEROME AND I WOULD BE, YARRRR!
THE SHIP IS SINKING, WHAT DO WE DO?
HE WOULD GO, YARRR, WE HAVE TO PLUG THE HOLES OF THE SHIP IN
THE BOW!
MY MOM'S ROOM WAS THE BOW.
I SAW HER DRESSER, AND WE OPENED UP THE DRAWER TO GET SOME TOOLS
AND FOUND HER VIBRATOR.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A VIBRATOR WAS.
>> Stephen: I STILL DON'T.
TILL DON'T.
I TOLD JEROME, YARRRR!
YOU FOUND THE MAGIC TOOL, PLUG THE HOLES WITH THE MAGIC TOOL!
>> HE WENT AROUND PLUGGING THE HOLES.
I JUMPED OFF THE COUCH AND HURT MY BACK.
I SAID FIX MY BACK WITH THE MAGIC TOOL, YARRRR!
HE'S LIKE, YARRR!
I SAID, YARRRR!
KEEP ON GOING!
I HOPE THAT NEVER HAPPENS TO HER DOES A --
( APPLAUSE ) YEAH.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
O PROOF YOUR HOUSE, PLEASE.
>> Stephen: YEAH, DEFINITELY PROOF YOUR HOUSE.
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: "SUPERIOR DONUTS" RETURNS MONDAY 9:00 ON CBS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
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