Trump's Tax Plan Will Help Truckers. . . .About 30 Of Them

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
FOR THE LAST 24 HOURS, DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEN THE PRESIDENT OF
BUSY TOWN.
THIS MORNING, HE SIGNED AN EXECUTIVE ORDER TO GET RID OF
SOME KEY PROVISIONS OF OBAMACARE.
FOR INSTANCE, THE CARE PART.
( LAUGHTER ) TRUMP MADE A BIG SHOW OF IT --
IT WAS IN THE WHITE HOUSE, GATHERED THE MEDIA, BRAGGED
, GOT CABINET IN, BRAGGED ABOUT HOW GREAT IT WAS GOING TO BE.
THEN CAME THE BIG MOMENT, THE SIGNING.
>> WE WILL HAVE GREAT HEALTH CARE IN OUR COUNTRY.
THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH.
APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU.
( APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU.
( APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.
I'M ONLY SIGNING IT BECAUSE IT COSTS NOTHING.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> STEPHEN: HE FORGOT TO SIGN THE ORDER!
( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S TROUBLING.
THAT IS TROUBLING.
AT THE SIGNING, HE FORGOT TO DO THE SIGNING.
BUT, ON THE PLUS SIDE, LET'S HOPE HE FORGETS THE LAUNCH
CODES.
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YOU'VE ALREADY LAUNCHED THEM, SIR.
THE MISSILES ARE GONE.
GO TO SLEEP.
( PIANO RIFF ) AND LAST NIGHT, TRUMP HELD A
RALLY IN PENNSYLVANIA PROMOTING HIS NEW TAX PLAN IN FRONT OF A
GROUP OF TRUCKERS.
NOW, TAX REFORM CAN BE COMPLICATED, SO TRUMP SUMMED IT
UP IN TWO SIMPLE WORDS.
>> THIS HUGE TAX CUT... TWO WORDS --
( APPLAUSE ) TWO WORDS,
HUGE AND ROCKET.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
ROCKET.
YOU KNOW WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT, FOLKS.
>> STEPHEN: NO!
( LAUGHTER ) NO, WE DON'T.
YOU JUST PUT TWO RANDOM WORDS TOGETHER.
"TWO WORDS TO DESCRIBE MY PLAN FOR MIDDLE EAST PEACE, WALLET
AND BANANA.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
BANANA.
AM I RIGHT?
YES, I AM.
WHY?
BECAUSE WALLET."
I STILL DON'T KNOW REALLY WHAT HE MEANS BUT HE ATTEMPTED TO
EXPLAIN...
SORT OF.
>> TO SUMMARIZE, OUR PLAN GOES FROM EIGHT TAX BRACKETS DOWN TO
FOUR.
CUTS THE CORPORATE TAX RATE FROM MUCH MORE AND EQUAL TO 35% TAX
AND BRINGS IT ALL THE WAY DOWN TO 20% AND CUTS TAX RATES FOR
SMALL BUSINESSES TO THE LOWEST LEVEL IN MORE THAN 80 YEARS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> STEPHEN: YES, HE'S TAKING
OUR TAX PLAN BACK MORE THAN 80 YEARS, TO THE 1930S.
THE ERA THAT WILL FOREVER BE KNOWN AS THE GREAT HAPPINESS.
( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF )
JUST LOOK AT THIS DUSTBOWL MOTHER'S RADIANT SMILE.
( LAUGHTER ) AND THE PRESIDENT CAME DOWN HARD
ON THE TAX THAT TRUCKERS HATE THE MOST, THE ONE THAT ONLY
APPLIES TO DYING MILLIONAIRES.
>> WE ARE GOING TO PROTECT THOUSANDS OF FAMILY BUSINESSES
BY ENDING THE CRUSHING, HORRIBLE AND UNFAIR ESTATE TAX SOMETIMES
KNOWN AS THE DEATH TAX.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S A TAX THAT HAS DESTROYED
SO MANY BUSINESSES AND KEPT THOSE BUSINESSES OUT OF YOUR
FAMILY, YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR GRANDCHILDREN.
IT'S VERY SAD.
>> STEPHEN: NOW, THE ESTATE TAX APPLIES ONLY TO INDIVIDUALS
WORTH MORE THAN $5.5 MILLION OR COUPLES WORTH $11 MILLION.
AND ACCORDING TO ONE TAX EXPERT, OUT OF ABOUT 186,000 TRUCKING
COMPANIES, REPEALING THE ESTATE TAX WOULD HELP AROUND 30 OF
THEM.
SO WHO ARE THESE ELITE TRUCKERS WHO ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT A TAX
ON MILLIONAIRES' ESTATES?
WE HAVE ONE OF THEM JOINING US NOW, LIVE VIA SATELLITE FROM
HARRISBURG, PENNSYLVANIA.
PLEASE WELCOME EARL DANFORTH.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> HELLO, STEPHEN.
ENCHANTE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: NOW, MR. DANFORTH,
YOU ARE A TRUCKER, TRUE?
>> YES, I DRIVE A MACK 18-WHEELER, THE POLO PONY OF THE
OPEN ROAD.
TALLY HO!
( LAUGHTER ) >> STEPHEN: AND YOU WERE AT THE
PRESIDENT'S SPEECH LAST NIGHT?
>> BUT OF COURSE.
IT'S THE EVENT OF THE SEASON.
( LAUGHTER ) >> STEPHEN: WHAT DID YOU THINK
OF THE PRESIDENT'S CALL TO END THE ESTATE TAX?
>> I HAVE TWO WORDS: "BRA" AND "VO."
( LAUGHTER ) I MEAN --
FINALLY, WE HAVE A LEADER WHO UNDERSTANDS WHAT AVERAGE
TRUCKERS CARE ABOUT, PASSING OUR MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR ESTATES ON
TO OUR PRIVILEGED OFFSPRING.
>> STEPHEN: I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT WAS AN ISSUE FOR TRUCKERS.
>> OH, YES, STEPHEN.
I AM VERY PROTECTIVE OF MY ESTATE.
I HAVE SO MUCH OBJET D'ART.
TAKE, FOR INSTANCE, ON MY MUD FLAPS.
RATHER THAN A CRUDE SILHOUETTE OF A NAKED RECLINING NUDE LADY,
IT'S ONE OF MODIGLIANI'S RECLINING NUDES.
VERY BOLD.
AND OF COURSE, FROM TIFFANY'S, I HAVE THESE DIAMOND-ENCRUSTED
TRUCK NUTZ.
( LAUGHTER ) LOOK AT THEM.
AREN'T THEY BEAUTIFUL?
>> Stephen: THEY'RE VERY BEAUTIFUL.
>> YEAH.
DO YOU REALIZE, IF I DIED RIGHT NOW, THE GOVERNMENT WOULD GET
ONE OF MY NUTZ.
( LAUGHTER ) AND OF COURSE, MY MING VASE.
>> STEPHEN: I'M SURE YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO INHERIT THAT.
>> OH, NO.
I PEE IN THIS AND THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW.
( LAUGHTER ) >> STEPHEN: SO TRUCKERS ACTUALLY
SUPPORT MAKING THE RICHEST AMERICANS EVEN RICHER?
>> YES, THE POOR MUST PAY THEIR FAIR SHARE.
AS IT SAYS ON MY FAMILY CREST "GAS, GRASS OR ASS.
NOBODY RIDES FOR FREE."
>> STEPHEN: EARL DANFORTH, EVERYBODY!
>> SEE YOU AT THE CAPE!
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Trump's Tax Plan Will Help Truckers. . . .About 30 Of Them

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