The 'Colbert Emoji' Is Now On Your Phone... Finally

SPEAKING OF THE
INFORMATION
SUPERHIGHWAY-- EMOJIS, OKAY.
TURNS OUT, THERE'S AN ORGANIZATION RESPONSIBLE FOR
CREATING ALL THE NEW EMOJIS, AND IT'S CALLED "THE UNICODE
CONSORTIUM," WHICH SOUNDS LIKE THE CRIME SYNDICATE IN A BOND
MOVIE.
"WELL, WELL, MR. BOND, YOUR ATTEMPTS TO STOP THE UNICODE
CONSORTIUM HAVE FAILED.
AND NOW IT SEEMS YOU ARE IN DEEP POOP EMOJI."
( LAUGHTER ) LAST YEAR--
( LAUGHTER ) -- I REPORTED THAT THE UNICODE
CONSORTIUM WAS WORKING ON A NEW EMOJI, A FACE WITH WOON RAISED
EYEBROW, OR, AS THE PRESIDENT OF THE
UNICODE CONSORTIUM HIMSELF CALLED IT,
THE COLBERT EMOJI.
THAT'S RIGHT!
YEAH, YEAH!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WHAT?
THAT DOESN'T IMPRESS YOU?
YEAH!
THEY LIKE IT.
THAT'S RIGHT!
BECAUSE I AM THE ONLY CELEBRITY EVER TO RAISE ONE EYEBROW.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: WHOA!
GET IT UP, BOY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) GET THAT I THINK UP THERE!
>> Stephen: PUT THAT THING DOWN, DWAYNE "THE ROCK" JOHNSON,
OR I WILL SEE YOU IN COURT.
BUT HERE'S THE THING-- WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE COLBERT
EMOJI FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS NOW.
THE ORIGINAL PROPOSAL FOR "FACE WITH ONE RAISED EYEBROW" WAS
SUBMITTED TO THE UNICODE CONSORTIUM IN 2015.
EVER SINCE THEN, IF I WANTED A LITTLE PICTURE OF ME, I HAD TO
USE ANY CLIP ART BUSINESSMAN.
WHAT'S TAKING THE UNICODE CONSORTIUM SO LONG?
WERE THEY TOO BUSY WITH THEIR CURRENT EMOJIS LIKE TRAIN,
LOCOMOTIVE, MONORAIL, LIGHT RAIL, AND
HIGH-SPEED TRAIN, NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT HIGH-SPEED TRAIN WITH A BULLET NOSE.
I MEAN, COULD THERE BE ANY MORE TRAIN EMOJIS?
YES, BECAUSE THERE'S ALSO THERE'S METRO, TRAM, TRAM CAR,
RAILWAY CAR, MOUNTAIN RAILWAY, SUSPENSION RAILWAY, AND OF
COURSE, TRAIN STATION, FEATURING A TRAIN.
( LAUGHTER ) ALL OF THAT, AND STILL NO
COLBERT EMOJI?
WELL, I GUESS THE UNICODE CONSORTIUM IS SLOW MOVING AND
OFTEN DERAILED.
I JUST WISH THERE WAS AN EMOJI FOR THAT.
WELL GUESS WHAT, EVERYBODY, WAKE UP YOUR THUMBS, BECAUSE THE
COLBERT EMOJI IS FINALLY HERE.
APPLE'S LATEST-- ONE WOULD HOPE!
ONE WOULD HOPE!
( APPLAUSE ) APPLE'S LATEST--
APPLE'S LATEST iPHONE UPDATE INCLUDES THIS BEAUTY:
BOOM!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) JIMMY, CAN WE PUT IT UP
SPLITSCREEN?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) CHECK IT OUT!
YE.
JUST-- LOOK AT THAT.
JUST CUT OFF MY NOSE AND DIP ME IN YELLOW PAINT, AND I DEFY YOU
TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE!
UNICODE SAYS THE COLBERT EMOJI CONVEYS "SKEPTICISM, ACCOMPANIED
BY THE CONCEPTS OF DISAPPROVAL AND MILD SURPRISE."
OH, REALLY?
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, THE COLBERT EMOJI IS ALSO
AVAILABLE ON TWITTER, FACEBOOK, WHATSAPP-- AND, LET'S SAY,
SAMSUNG SMART REFRIGERATORS.
SO GET OUT THERE AND USE IT.
BUT, PLEASE, KEEP YOUR EGGPLANTS AWAY FROM MY FACE.
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT!
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The 'Colbert Emoji' Is Now On Your Phone... Finally

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